It's too late, right?

This is true. I had IVF starting at 34 and was told at 39 that I didn’t have enough eggs left. However my pituitary gland continued to flog my dying ovaries for several years after that. Had regular periods until 45 when they started to peter out and was 50 when I had my last period.

Do some respite foster care- if you like it , give it a go.

I had mine at 42 and 44. DH was 48 and 50. Where we live it’s really common, almost all the women I met when DCs were babies were in their late 30s and early 40s. In fact I have not met any women who had babies in their 20s at all! I find it so odd that anyone could think that someone in their 40s, 50s or 60s couldn’t cope with child rearing. We are definitely fitter than we were in our 20s as we take care of ourselves.

Of course, there are real issues with declining fertility and increase in the number of potential conditions that a child could be born with. You do need to consider this. However, there are no social or cultural factors to worry about imo or any sense that someone in their 40s or 50s couldn’t cope.

I'm going to read all the comments
I've been feeling like this on and off for about 18 months 🤦🏻‍♀️

I do have a history of recurrent miscarriages so that's adds another layer of complications

Fair enough, I have to admit I was secretly hoping for an announcement but you feeling content with your decision is (nearly) as good. 😁

What did you decide in the end, OP? How are you feeling six months down the line?

I had my 4th baby at 42, if you're both in agreement and you're otherwise fit and healthy, go for it

I had this strange feeling when I was pregnant with my daughter, that she was already here and waiting, even down to what her name was. I had never wanted a child and was 40 when I had her. She is nearly 12 and I wouldn’t be without her. Not too late.

I think that the thing to say here is that as you're both older and have good jobs you will be able to pay for extra help if you need it. Some people on here may say that this is not good enough, but for example a good camp (sports or whatever) over the holidays is enjoyable for them and takes the weight off you. Good afterschool care helps too. Also, in my experience, older parents often have more patience and this helps.
I'm in my 70's now and personally I had my last child in my early 30's but know many of my own generation who had their first child in their mid 30's or later, some had their last child well into their 40's. Often they only had one much loved child and all their love, nurturing and affection has been lavished on that child, who has moved into a happy, balanced and successful later life.
As has been mentioned, people appear to be less bothered by the age gap if it is male older than female, but sadly if your DH is older this inevitably means that he may die earlier than you, before your DC have fully embraced adulthood - for example GC may not be a possibility for him. One friend's DH was almost 20 years older than her and lived until his children had left university. Yes, everyone was obviously very sad but for them they had always known that it was a fact of life.

I had my daughter at 41. BUT her father is ten years younger than me. If you go through with this, will you both have the energy and the teenage years can be brutal.

It's not definitely "too late" (but it could be, some women get pregnant easily in their 40s, some can't do it at all) but if you both really want to, you might want to get a move on.
It is late, though, even if not too late. My Dad was 55 when my oldest son was born, his first grandson, and now DS1 is 19 and at university. It would be roughly the same age as your DH when any baby is that sort of age, how do you both feel about a 20 yr old child when he's 75?

Had my first at 40, second at 42. BUT… coming up to 50 now, and I would not want to start this journey now….

My friend also lost her parents young for the same reason, however she is so sad that she is now alone now that they have died of old age

She also resents her sister for putting her aged parents through so much crap and stress in their grandparent role too. The last thing they wanted to do in their 70s and 80s was school runs and looking after fighting, puking, rude boys, but they felt guilty so they did it until they were literally admitted to hospital.

Hi, speaking as a child of ‘older parents’ due to fertility issues my parents were ‘40’ so not dissimilar to yourself although not your husband. My parents always had a lot more time for me than my peers, we had a real tight nit family bond and it was amazing. Of course, health issues were a problem as they aged further (my mums was negligence by the NHS so could of been avoided) and I lost them sooner than I would have liked, although I was a grown up and they were grandparents. They were the most amazing grandparents too and age never held them back with anything, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Of course you’re not too old. I had me youngest at 40 and never felt too old to cope or have fun with him. I did get gestational diabetes, probably because of my age but it went away straight after he was born and never came back. For me it was no big deal.
But…. I had a long wait between two and three. In the end I got it checked out and one of my tubes was blocked. A tiny operation and I got pregnant easy, youngest, at 40, first try.
So if you decide to go for it (and I hope you do) I’d get you and DH checked out straight away which will ensure something physical won’t interfere with conception. It’s worth the money if you’ve got it. They can also do some genetic tests which seems to be what you’re both most worried about.
Happy TTC.

I had a baby at forty. It’s defo not too late if that’s what you want!
it was my third child and the best pregnancy and easiest birth out of the three. Don’t let people scare you into saying it’s too late, it’s really not.

So you even no that it’s not young then

It’s not too late at all Op if it’s what you want

Ok, if you want to bring it down to a month older than the average. 😆

So 31 and 35 are older than average, not young.

30.9 is the average age.

It isn’t young. Having them in your early 20s is young. Early 30s, while not old by current trends, definitely isn’t young.

No it is not, it’s a perfectly average age! I agree it’s not ‘older’ but it’s absolutely not young to have a baby, especially 35!

31 and 35 IS young to have a baby! You didn't "have them older".