To hate that DGD has her ears pierced

I had my ears pierced when I was a baby. I don't remember it.... I am quite grateful that my parents had them done at an time
when I wouldn't remember it being done and could manage the care of them healing for me ....I had a second set done of my own accord at 16 and the after care was annoying.... and I love having and wearing earrings.
Your daughter needs your support right now and it's wonderful you can be there for her and your DGD. Don't sweat the small stuff.... no one at school is going to single her out as trashy because her parents have chosen to pierce her ears.

YANBU I wouldn’t like it too

Wow op, you've just called your daughter "stupid/shallow/cheap"? Just for getting her own daughters ears pierced? Get a grip. It's fine.

This is simply a cultural difference. I'm not sure where your DIL is from, OP, but in South America it's usual, perhaps also in India. I think also parts of Africa. The baby is given solid gold earrings, 18 or 22 ct gold, and that's also cultural. In some cultures babies are given more gold, like cute little bangles. It's a welcome and shows how valued they are. The piercing might also be so they don't remember any pain from having their ears done, I don't know.

The only reason that some British people (mainly white) see this as trashy is because of OUR culture. There's nothing inherently trashy about babies having small gold studs. We have to realise that ours is a culture where people don't go for a lot of personal decoration. We tend to wear dark clothes, we often don't wear makeup, and our jewellery is usually very small. That's our culture. I think it must be a holdover from Puritan or Victorian times. Also, we're a grey, cold country, which doesn't exactly make you want to break out the yellow skirts, bright-pink tops, and large shimmery hoop earrings.

It's not wrong just because it's not the white, British way. Without any cultural influences, you might think the babies look cute in their little gold studs.

I 100% agree with you. Always looks tacky to me. But sadly, they're her parents and you don't have much say.

Bizarre culturally imperialistic and classist views OP. Anyway, it’s done now, simple 18k gold studs are the way forward.

I am Indian and don’t see anything tacky about earrings on little kids (so long as they don’t pose a threat, no dangly earrings or things they could take off and choke on).

Seems British people have strong views on this but different cultures do things differently…

This lead to an epic battle between DD's American grandmother (every granddaughter of mine has earrings) and her Scottish one (earrings on children are the devil's work). Lots of luck OP!

By the way the other mums in my daughter's class hated it but the other girls loved my daughter's earrings ><. Now we live in my country again and the first thing my DD said when she came home from school was "everyone has earrings here!!".

I did it for my daughter because it's like that in my culture, and I am certain my mother-in-law hates that because she is British. She did, however, not breathe a word of it to me.

Gold and surgical steel are the only options because the other materials are bad for the kid. So that part, at least, is sensible instead of tacky.

Either you want to support her or you don't. Your support seems like it comes with a big helping of judgement and strings.

It's a weird thing to feel so passionate about. Of all the things to be upset with your dd about, surely this is not worth it?

Ugh! YANBU
I judge harshly on this.
Poor lamb.
I've never witnessed this being done, but I'm guessing it hurts a baby 😡

You are wrong here….most girls get theirs pierced at age 5 to 6 here….and not uncommon to get a second piercing around 9 to 10. I wouldn’t do it, but I wouldn’t let it bother me if it were my DGD🤷‍♀️

Not unreasonable at all. It looks horrible and chavvy on tiny children. A baby is beautiful as she is, she doesn’t need decorating like a doll.

I hate it, but it’s nothing to do with class or how it looks; I just believe that someone shouldn’t have the right to pierce another human being who hasn’t consented to it. If my mother forcibly had me pierced now (as an adult) it would be assault. But she could have done it to me as a baby/child and that would be fair game? It’s illogical.

It’s not your granddaughter who will be judged but your daughter.

She doesn't have to justify herself to you. It's her child. She decides. You had your turn parenting. You need to understand your role as a grandparent and back off otherwise you're going to alienate you daughter. She's only been back for 5 minutes.

Oh looks like I was right in my assumptions about the situation.

Did you also post about buying loads of presents for DGD for Christmas morning?

If not , there another grandma on here in a very similar situation, down to the private schooling and plenty of funds.

You can hate it but ultimately if she’s happy and healthy then I think you should count your blessings.

Seriously?

You're trolling now

It really is. In many, many countries. Some quite "civilised ". Done to children of doctors, lawyers, gentry etc. In a lot of them it's done in the hospital by the nurses and it's tradition for a baby girl to get earrings at birth from the extended family as a gift or heirloom earrings to be left to future baby girl.

I was abandoned at birth so didn't have mine done in the hospital, I had them done at 2 instead.

It's quite crappy and narrow minded to judge whole countries(and its citizens) as cheap,trashy, chavvy etc. just because that is the view here. England/UK is not the benchmark for the entire world , and it's quite an imperialistic view to assume it is.

That's young in my view, so...

Horses for courses