To hate that DGD has her ears pierced

Not your business. It’s very normal in other cultures. Some babies are in nurseries all day at a young age. That’s not for everyone either.

Let it go, OP. What’s the point?

I think you'll find there are many adults that wouldn't think about a small child in those terms at all.

I voted YABU, not because I agree with piercings in little ones, but because she is your DGD. Not your DD.

We were in an affluent part of Southern Spain recently and I noticed many, many more baby girls and toddlers had pierced ears than you’d see here. Children there were notably much better turned out than where I live in the UK, and they were also polite, engaged, well-behaved and self-possessed. Some of the earring-wearers were part of very ‘middle class’ families, you know the sort of casually chic mums who make me regret all my life choices😂. So I think perhaps the perception of infant piercing looking ‘down-market’ is a cultural one. I can’t imagine causing injury and infection risk to a baby for appearance sake, and I don’t like the fact it’s yet another burden around looks that is being foisted on little girls, but I can only assume it’s just what is ‘done’ in some places in the same way it’s not ‘done’ here. I think I’d just be glad at least she wasn’t wearing cheap infecting crap.

Supporting someone doesn't mean you get to make all their decisions. I think you need to try to distance yourself a bit from this.

Sorry to hear about your abandonment, thats really awful.

The thing is I'm not going to feel guilty or bad about judging negatively a cultural tradition I don’t personally like because every culture has things other people raise their eyebrows at.

I would worry about the long term low level psychological effects of exposing a child to the cut throat British class system and “what will everyone think if you x/y/z” more than the piercing or lack thereof itself.

Why is it so important for a baby /toddler to not look downmarket/cheap/tacky/trashy?

My Spanish friend who lives in England, didn't have her DDs ears pierced as a baby. Her DM was very upset. She complained that "everyone will think she is a boy!" But why is it so important to be able to identify which babies are boys and which are girls? Is this the main reason people have baby girls pierced?

Not tacky in my view.

OP - you are entitled to your opinion but since you weren’t asked I suggest you keep it to yourself. Her ears are already pierced so not much you can do anyway.

As an aside, it sounds like you don’t like your DGC Mother very much and seem resentful of the help she is getting. It also sounds like you want to offer help but with strings attached, and that you look down on and are quite derisive of her and her culture. Instead of fixating on whether your DGD will be thought of as chavvy/trashy/cheap (which by the way, WOW!!) perhaps work on why you have such a strange and combative attitude towards your DGD Mother.

Everyone in every culture accepts and performs some parts and not others.

YANBU to hate something, you’re entitled to feel how you feel (and I sympathise with you on this one because I hate seeing pierced ears on babies and toddlers).

That said, you can’t say anything or make your disapproval known. It’s a decision her parents were entitled to make, however much you dislike it.

This is not your call OP, so I'm not sure what you're gaining by getting worked up about it.

You need to camouflage your gin-trap better.

I'd certainly relieve them of the duty of having such a cheap looking grandchild. They wouldn't be seeing her again.

I think you'll find both boys aand girls aged 3 can look 'downmarket'...

Anyone looking at a toddler and thinking they look ‘downmarket’ or ‘cheap’ isn’t worth knowing.

A grandparent doing so? Good grief.

Can you elaborate further on these "assumptions" that will be made.....

This is normal in my culture. I think my DD was about 10 weeks old when I got hers done. I think it looks beautiful.

It is cheap and tacky
The OP, as a grandmother, and as a person, has a right to an opinion. Just because you don't agree with an opinion doesn't mean it is wrong, or that your attitude/opinion is the correct one.

You are so correct. Earrings on children under 12 look common and tacky. If it's culture elsewhere, fine because everyone does it.
In the UK, the peirced ears on children tell a completely different tale -rightly or wrongly. Assumptions will be made.

You've really undermined your argument with your awful stereotyping here. Gross

Bwahaha at Brits criticizing some cultures about their customs/looks. Especially someone like SPANISH or Italian or French (or pretty much anywhere except Germany, Australia and the US) women? Trashy? Are you joking? Have you seen the mirror or ever been to Spain? Brit tourists: pasty, fat, red gammons wearing cheap, unkempt, always at least a size too small clothing with their sweaty rolls lulling and exposed. Or all the above teamed with orange self tan, slug eyebrows, tatted-up, drag makeup, fish lips, tallon nails. And Spanish people. Elegant, well dressed/made and effort look, slim and trim, well cut, well made clothing.

Eastern Europen/Baltic women you don't even want to compare yourselves too. Tall, lean, willowy, beautiful, streets full of model-standard women.

Jesus C, it's definitely NOT for Brits to criticize anyone's looks or style choices. That's like Fiat Panda criticizing a new Lamborghini. Babies with (or without) earrings are the least of your problems.