How do I cope with this!?

But you said in your OP...

How can you possibly go from a long term relationship and then go into another one straight away!

One could ask you a similar question - 'How can you go from sex in a long term relationship, to sex with other men straight away?'

The only difference is he's having an actual relationship rather than sex with different women.

I know it's hard to see him putting someone else first when you never were in your marriage but you ended it. You couldn't see a way out of it and to change things.

As harsh as it may be, sometimes people don't try to fix things with people they just don't want to be with. Undoubtedly with time he'll be the exact same with this person/a new person but you have to move on. You nailed the coffin, now put the soil on top and walk away.

It hurts because it triggers your feelings of worth and validity. You need to explore those yourself.

Nice for the kids though as they'll be missing their dad.

I don't think someone else coming along would bother a lot of kids, as long as they see their estranged parent.

How old are the kids?

Not just men 👀

You left him, why on earth would he put you first? And you’ve said you've had rebounds in the 4 months since you left him and you’re not ready for a relationship yet - why do you expect him to think and behave exactly like you?

But you ended it with him.

It’s not your place to dictate how long he’s allowed to take to move on, as much as it’s a shock to the system…

“Whoever abandoned you in the middle of the ocean has no right to know what the sharks did to you or how you manage to the shore”

He doesn’t have to tell the OP about his new relationship.. true.. but a courtesy conversation should be had when introducing new lady to their children.. this kind of thing can be quite damaging for kids if not handled properly (such as introducing too soon/not enough quality time with their father alone) I was the child of divorced parents and they both moved on quickly with new partners..It was hurtful and used as a means to punish each other.. there was zero thought to us kids as they were too busy trying to piss each other off the whole time.. if the ex husband is serious about this woman she can wait to meet the kids

Some men just see women as bums on a seat to make their life easier. How good of a husband was he? If he was a lazy fucker, chances are he is looking for another person to fill the vacant cook/cleaner role.

As someone else said, you can't control it but rest assured that the kids will start seeing him for who he is.

Unfortunately there aren’t many men who can cope terribly well on their own, they mostly tend to move on quickly..

It would be better for the kids if he developed a relationship and then after some months when it looked like it might last long term to introduce the kids.

But you can't control what he does. The kids will learn Dad comes with a new GF or 10. Hopefully they're nice to your kids.

No, I don’t.

Do you think the OP should tell her ex if she gets a new boyfriend? It’s a dangerous and controlling precedent.

Ultimately, OP doesn’t get to dictate who this man sees or how he parents his children when he has them.

Ideally, I would like parents to put their children first and not traipse a litany of new girlfriends and boyfriends into their lives but that doesn’t seem to be how the world operates, sadly.

This

Although l'm biased. My SBEXH waited 7 weeks.

It's bitten him on the arse though, the kids can't stand her. I feel sorry he couldn't have waited and got a better outcome for their sake.

Jeez, you don't think introducing your kids to a new partner is something that should be discussed with the other parent first? Sounds like the decent and respectful thing to do, although l seem to be alone in that...!

It isn't right. Not fair on kids.

Personally, I’d be as pissed off as you are. Doesn’t matter that you ended the marriage.. it was only 4 months ago and only a really serious new partner should be meeting your children. Is he seriously thinking this new woman is going to last? Unless she’s been around for longer that 4 months than I would hazard a guess that this is a new relationship that he should be nurturing away from yours/his children.. seems to me he knew it would get up your nose. As a mum myself, I would never introduce a our kids to a relationship of only a few months.. it’s not health for the kids to see their parent move on so quickly.. and when they are with their father, it should be quality between him and them. I’d question how mature your ex is and sounds to me like you made the right decision in getting rid!

For what reason?

Do you think he should have asked your permission?

Ultimately, he’s a free agent and can do what he wants. Surely your decision to end the marriage came with the realisation that you could no longer have any say in his life?

I do feel sorry for the kids though.

What's upset you op? The fact he has a new woman or the fact she has now met your DC?