I’m not overly blessed with friends whereas my partner has maintained friendships from school and makes friends easily.
This month she’s been to two works parties and had lunch on at
least three occasions without me. She’s able to do this because she works two days one week and three days the other week. She’s been to another Christmas party with me, been out for dinner with me and been to the pub with me and her family.
Other than breakfast with my work colleagues in work hours I haven’t had a single social occasion without her. I have worked 5 days a week and over storm Darragh I worked 12 days in a row and up to 18hrs a day.
Christmas Day, I cooked for 8 on my own. After dinner I was told that to leave the washing up as the rest of HER family would do it. When I got up next morning, I did it.
No issues, I don’t mind, I’m just illustrating that I’m pulling my weight. I do all the cooking in this house. Plus laundry and ironing
My best friend phoned me the other today to tell me we’d had a mutual friend die from a long term illness. It was Friday night, I had nothing planned for the weekend and he asked if I wanted to go out for a memorial drink with some other friends on Saturday . I said I’d get back to him.
i mentioned it and it kicked off a barnstormer of a row. My social life always does. There is a pattern.
I ask if she’s okay with me going out, she comes up with a spurious problem that means I can’t go out.
I propose a solution to the spurious problem, she gets upset.
She accused me of always going out. I ask her when was the last time I went out and she remembers an event a month ago.
I point out her lunches, parties, nights away and accuses me of trying to keep her away from her friends. I point out that I rearrange my days, work from home or nip home to deal with issues so she can see her friends.
We row and I cave in or spend the next two days in the dog house.
Friday’s spurious excuse was she would be left on her own to look after her very elderly father. I caved in, spend Saturday night watching him sleep through the darts. She put him to bed without me. Like she has done every night since he came here on Christmas Eve.
I’m now sitting in front of the TV while her elderly father sleeps through the football on my own. I’ll put him to bed tonight. Why am I doing it? She’s gone out.
It’s a minor issue in our relationship but it might just be the one that breaks it.