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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cancelled NYE plans - who is BU?

137 replies

GenerationAlphabet · 30/12/2024 18:29

Deliberately trying to be vague/neutral so I can sense check this without all the backstory.

Fairly new couple, X & Y have plans to spend NYE together at one of their homes. Both are very busy so they see each other around once or twice a month usually. X has developed a moderate cold so Y cancelled the plans. X is annoyed because Y is getting over a cold anyway and upset because they will be spending NYE alone. Y doesn’t want to risk catching another cold because they’ve already had a couple over the last month.

Who, if anyone, is BU?

OP posts:
Patienceinshortsupply · 30/12/2024 18:51

Seeing someone once or twice a month isn't a relationship. And this would confirm that.

MathsMum3 · 30/12/2024 18:51

X is BU. They have no right to impose their germs (no matter how mild) on another person if that person doesn't want to risk it.

leftorrightnow · 30/12/2024 18:50

Seeing each other twice a month? Canceling NYE plans over a cold? Is this even a relationship? Sounds like a serious lack of real interest and commitment.

Calmhappyandhealthy · 30/12/2024 18:48

It's not a relationship. It's a FWB situationship

No one is unreasonable in the NYE 'drama' as they aren't in a relationship

ThriveIn2025 · 30/12/2024 18:48

Do you think Y has had a better offer?

Moveoverdarlin · 30/12/2024 18:46

If everyone in the UK cancelled NYE plans due to colds, no one would be doing anything.

Tiswa · 30/12/2024 18:46

Purplecatshopaholic · 30/12/2024 18:41

Y is not that into X.

This it is as simple as that - about a month into our relationship he got a cold and I went round and nursed him (now 21 years later I leave him too it)

MerryLiftMass · 30/12/2024 18:46

I don’t actually think either is being unreasonable to be honest.

Y is entitled to not want to get Ill again before work and X is entitled to be disappointed about it.

If they live close by drop off a care package and then both watch the same film on Netflix and FaceTime.

pictoosh · 30/12/2024 18:45

To each their own but personally, I'd find the cold excuse lame.

Sparkletastic · 30/12/2024 18:44

Y isn't that keen on X. If I were X I'd be rethinking the relationship. Presuming X and Y enjoy one another's company enough to want to see each other without snogging / shagging?

Tia86 · 30/12/2024 18:44

Y is being unreasonable, it's only a cold.

Loopytiles · 30/12/2024 18:44

A cold doesn’t ‘floor’ people who are otherwise well.

LetsNCagain · 30/12/2024 18:43

I agree, Y is not that into X.

Any man I've ever dated, I'd have happily risked catching his cold just to have more 1-1 time with him. If you fancy someone, you're willing to catch their cold.

My dh and I have been married a while so we're not at the tearing clothes off phase any more but I'd still rather catch his cold than isolate from him in any way. I just wash my hands more when he's ill

Edit for spelling

Anywherebuthere · 30/12/2024 18:42

Its understandable Y doesnt want to get ill again if they are still recovering. So I would say X is being unreasonable.

But really its difficult to say without knowing more about them.
Is the cold just a light snivel? Is it very bad? Is Y prone to getting sick/ill too quickly so wants to protect themselves, are they still feeling really under the weather themselves?

I know a few people who have been really unwell over the past few weeks and whatever is going around has really floored them so it makes sense they would want to avoid being around ill people if possible. Is that the case here?

ThriveIn2025 · 30/12/2024 18:42

Just crack on with your plans, everyone has a cold at the moment 😆

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 30/12/2024 18:42

Neither of them are unreasonable.

Eldermillennial2024 · 30/12/2024 18:42

But it may make a difference what we're doing and if we're in a confined space

Eldermillennial2024 · 30/12/2024 18:41

People are obviously different about colds. I wouldn't want to see someone with a cold. I've had two awful ones this past month or so and I don't want another thank you.

ChaChaChaChanges · 30/12/2024 18:41

Team X all the way. Y is being ridiculous.

Purplecatshopaholic · 30/12/2024 18:41

Y is not that into X.

Hercisback1 · 30/12/2024 18:41

You both sound 12.

ColinOfficeTrolley · 30/12/2024 18:41

Y is being ridiculous unless they have a serious health conditions where catching a moderate cold could cause severe illness.

Sounds like Y can take or leave X and if I was X, I'd probably decide to being the new year, freshly single.

nestingvillage · 30/12/2024 18:41

It's just a cold, no need to cancel.

PeloMom · 30/12/2024 18:40

X is unreasonable. After a couple of colds a month no one is worth catching a third by choice. For what? NYE is a night like any other

user1471517900 · 30/12/2024 18:39

The OP is clearly X and is annoyed at Y for this