Cancelled NYE plans - who is BU?

Team X

I think people saying it’s hardly a relationship don’t know all the ins and outs. Both me & my OH only have limited time to see each other so it works for us. It’s that or nothing so I take what time I can get.

We have cancelled if one isn’t feeling up to it but usually try, particularly if it’s an occasion or it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.

🤣🤣🤣

This isn’t a relationship.

However, on the cold issue - I catch everything going and end up often really floored by it. My husband probably catches 1 out of every 10+ things I catch, and much more mildly. He had a mild sore throat a few weeks. I ended up with such severe tonsillitis that I was on a drip for dehydration - caught from his mild sore throat. If this was a proper relationship and the avoider was like my husband - then yes, lame excuse and he’s just not into you. However, if the one avoiding was like me, it wouldn’t mean any more than a poor immune system and a genuine desire to not risk becoming really poorly again…

I would not want to get another cold . I would reschedule a very special date and understand the other person's point of view .

If it’s literally just a cold, then Y is being an absolute wetter.
If it’s not covid, or immunosuppression or co-morbidity some other life or death situation, what is a cold compared to a potentially wonderful, fabulous night with the one you love? Have a lemsip, blow your nose and enjoy being together when the new year starts!

Not a relationship.
Should stop wasting time and find something real.

How old are X and Y?

My young self would have risked pleurisy to see a man I really liked.

My older self is much more precious.

Hardly a relationship, is it?
That said - I can’t think of anything more grim than snogging someone with a cold. If it is a cold. The last time someone said ‘it’s just a cold’ and I decided to still visit them, it ended up being Covid and both they and I were floored for two-three weeks afterwards.
If it was a nice meal, no snogging expected- I’d probably go but keep my distance because I wouldn’t want to catch something before going back to work.
And frankly, I’m also full-time plus family, plus studying p/t, and I could find more than once or twice a month to meet up.

Anyone who chooses not to see a partner over a cold is very much not into them. And also extremely feeble.

Goodness, the country would grind to a halt of everyone acted like this. Many nursery workers, teachers, medical staff and carers are in the close presence of colds daily throughout winter. It's just life.

I can't imagine cancelling new years plans with my partner just because he had a cold. But then I like him so 🤷🏼‍♀️

I never used to be aware of people with colds but now I avoid them. I don’t want to catch one and if my teen dc catches it they will inevitably end up with a chest infection and antibiotics etc. So I would say although it’s disappointing I agree with Y.

Is X the stormy weather and Y the Hogmanay street parties in Edinburgh?

X needs to stop sulking, they'll be full of snot by the morn, and they've nay right to insist that Y gets blown over by their sneezes then has to spend a week oot of action themselves.

This 100%

Y is being unreasonable and probably not that into X.

Y…there are so many colds around and y already had one

I think X should probably call it a day with Y and get out and have some fun.

Y..

Both are. But Y even more so.
Neither are clearly very much into the relationship and should probably leave each other to find someone better suited

If I was X I'd be so turned off by Y right now. How pathetic.

One person’s moderate cold is another person’s two days under the duvet cold. Speaking as someone who returns to work tomorrow I’m not thrilled that some idiot on Boxing Day decided to share their germs around a family event and now three of us (out of five) are feeling completely grim. I’m lucky that tomorrow I’m WFH so I can take my time and be flexible with my recovery. But I feel genuinely done in and if the shoe was on the other foot and I was X I would be cancelling plans myself so as not to pass this horrible infection on to anyone else.

I like the idea further up the thread of dropping off a care package if distance isn’t an issue and watching a movie online together via FaceTime or similar.

Yeah I would say that this relationship is going nowhere - Y is not really into X. Possibly the feeling is mutual if the only reason X is upset is because they don't want to be on their own, rather than because they're not seeing Y specifically.

Sounds like a strange relationship tbh

Ah so normally I would say a cold is just a cold - but we’ve had so many viral infections recently and we are so run down.

If it was just hanging out in a house with one other I might be inclined to give it a miss.

That said, I probably wouldn’t cancel plans for a cold unless I felt awful.

X & Y are not that into each other if it’s only a cold.