To go with my DS for a tattoo

Tattoo artist here. Please do not go with him to “guide” him. There are few things more frustrating and time wasting for everyone concerned than “ooh don’t you think it should be a bit smaller, what if you got it like this, maybe you should do the other arm…”

If he’s a big boy he can make his decisions. Any decent studio will not have pictures in a book or on the walls, he’ll have to decide what he wants ahead of time and where. Coming in to second guess and micro manage results in a headache for everyone, more confusion and is taking away his adult autonomy. The artist he chooses is the professional and will advise on placement and size if there’s an issue.

You CAN go along as a general social thing IF the studio allows, but not to offer opinions.

So what if he has to have it removed though? Like it’s a journey and a choice, which is entirely his to make with his own body. What if he gets it and loves it forever??

The tattoo I got on my 18th birthday I then later had reworked into a larger piece, so still have it. Love it. Mid 30’s now

Edited as soon as I posted because I misread 😂

@MissDoubleU who said my kid was getting tattooed 😂

That’s good. It is a bit different with your kids though when they’re just becoming adults. He probably just doesn’t want him to regret it. My friends daughter had one at 18 and then had to have it removed as the career she wanted didn’t allow tattoos on show. It’s even more important if yours sons ADHD impacts decision making or anything like that and I can see why your husband would have concerns as a parent.

It is illegal in the UK to tattoo anyone under the age of 18. They can be in the shop but not the tattooing area

Edit as misread*

Tricky one then. I’d probably have a conversation with DH, explaining DS really wants one and you’re going to support him to make sure it’s not something he will regret, reiterating that DS is now an adult and has to be allowed to make these decisions. Then I’d be asking DS what his plan is, what research has he done into the tattooist, his design etc

@Soontobe60 his son is also 12 and is my son's best friend so they nip in and out sometimes. He's not holding them down to practice on them or anything.

I bought both my sons tattoo vouchers for their 18ths, that way I was sure they were going to a decent artist who communicates well beforehand.

Tattoos don't have to be deep and meaningful though.

His body, his choice.

If he gets something daft then he can get another put over it eventually.

Garbage. It's at the discretion of the shop.

I got my first tattoo on my 18th birthday and I am now heavily tattooed. I love it, love all my tattoos.

The best thing is take him to a good studio/artist. Better to support him because he’s 18. That’s like saying no to him getting a beer, he’s a whole ass man. He’ll do what he wants either way. Guide him as you are doing and tell your DH to get on board.

There’s nothing boring about not liking tats or piercings.

Your friend should know very well that under 18s are not allowed into tattoo parlours

I’m not a fan of tattoos but if one of my kids was going to get one anyway, it’s best that they’re steered into getting something they’re less likely to regret and in a less visible place.

I would also try to get them to decide on the tattoo and placement well before the appointment to have it done, just so they can properly think about it and not decide it all on the day.

Your husbands attitude of ‘just tell him no’ won’t work when he’s an adult obviously but I don’t think anyone is a bore for not liking tattoos.

@Newname71
Fair enough! My DD is quite sensible and I knew what she was proposing was a nice, normal tattoo so I didn't feel the need to go along! But I can see why you'd want to if DS isn't sensible 😬

I agree with PP who have said he needs to plan what he would like before going. I have quite a few tattoos and my first was just some random squiggly thing. It’s my least favourite…

Exactly my thoughts too!

IMO tattoos should be meaningful not some random picture out of a book.

Any good tattooist won’t have a book with images to pick out.

What a stupid thing to say

My DS had money towards his first tattoo for his 18th birthday, he had been talking about what he wanted for ages, went to a reputable tattoo artist and the one he has is really well done.

We spoke at length about it being permanent and to have it where it can be covered easily in case he does regret it in the future.

I agree that you should go with him, much better that he goes to someone good and with your support than getting something on a whim.

Neither me or DH have tattoos and DS was dead set on getting one once he turned 18. We quickly realised there was absolutely nothing we could do about it! DH just made absolutely sure that DS had a plan, he wanted to see what he was getting to make sure it wasn’t a knee jerk reaction. DS wouldn’t have wanted to do it without dh’s blessing I suppose you might say. As it stands it took DS 12 months to decide on his design anyway. Would your DH get involved in this way, seeing as there’s really nothing he can do about it? It sounds like you already have tattoos, is there anything in particular that your DH is against?