To go with my DS for a tattoo

My daughter is 18 and has three.

She has researched them well, researched the studio and chosen her designs carefully - not just gone in and picked one from a book.

They're actually lovely.

Her third was done yesterday and, tbh, I love it. She went with a sensible friend for the first two. Yesterday, she went on her own. I admire her confidence tbh!

Would I have consented to let her have it done before 18? No. Would I prefer she had waited? Probably. But I can't see her regretting any of the three she has and I know she plans for more.

Besides, as much as she's still my baby, she is also an adult.

Def go with him!

You are right OP. With ADHD they are 30% behind in maturity, like a 13 year old. Plus the impulsivity. I would do the same for my DS who also has ADHD. They may be classed as an adult but they need a lot more support

Try to get him to find and follow decent artists on Instagram and 'live with' an idea of a design for 3 months or so. Obviously he can do what he wants, but you want to teach him decision making skills for big purchases.

There are still places that allow walk-ins. You walk in, pick one of their existing designs and agree a price and bingo. Done.

@Newname71 I have tattoos on my arms and I love them all. None of them have "special meanings" particularly but each one is beautiful and I enjoyed meeting the artists who did them for me, hearing how they got into tattooing and other things about their lives. The whole experience can be enjoyable.

My DD is 17 and is talking about getting one on her spine when she is 18. I suppose in a way she will never need to see it if it's there, it will be mostly hidden under clothing, but I know that part of your back can be a painful spot. I'm encouraging her to think smaller, and to choose something that can be changed / built on or covered up easily if she gets tired of it.

I started late so I'm not sick of any of mine yet.

Any good tattooist will need to be booked with well in advance, and the design and placement will need to be confirmed before the appointment.

My dd and I went to get matching tattoos when she was 18! Go with your son. Lovely idea!

If he's wanted a tattoo for a long time, but he hasn't decided what he wants or where he wants it?

I went with my son for his first tattoo - he was 16 as we were on holiday and this was the legal age there .
I also bought him another one for his 18th .

Your son is an adult and his dad should respect his decision making ability

Not...tattoo....parlours! What next...ye grand old knocking shoppe!

It’s fine to chat about this but it should all be done before you make an appointment. On the day, any feedback should be left between him and the artist. As you acknowledge, we are professionals who want to do a good job and give people a tattoo that they - and we! - can be proud of. We aren’t in the business of tattooing knobs on people.

I would go with for the reasons you said. To make sure it's a reputable tattooist. I didn't have mine until mid 30's only have the one on my back. Travelled a few hours to go to the tattoo parlour (they are great). Designed the tattoo and everything.

I know friends that have had them done and regretted it. Turned the green colour and blurred edges. My DD mentioned having one when she's older and I said I would go with her. She needed to really think about what she had and where it's placed.

I have mine on my back as I can cover it if I chose too or have it out on the beach etc. everyone is different :)

Some people really don't like them and that's ok. I didn't imagine having one until I was older.

"Your friend should know very well that under 18s are not allowed into tattoo parlours"

@Soontobe60 of course they are- they are very often combined with piercing studios where those who eschew piercing guns (myself included) prefer to go/ take their kids.

Posted too soon.

and it has cost quite a lot to remove.

It’s not the end of the world if it has to be removed but I think it’s sensible not to rush into it and put thought into it after becoming an adult. It is his choice but it’s normal for parents to still look out for their kids when they’re 18. He has ADHD too.

Time and cost are important factors in removal though. My friends daughter had to wait for another round of recruitment to be considered for the career she wanted.

Surely you're going to research a decent artist and discuss a design in advance, not just rock up to a walk in?!

Don't do that, make sure he does some research, find someone with a good style/reviews.

I love tattoos but I've spent ££ and many a painful session having shitty teenage tattoos chosen from a book covered up. If you walk in you'll end up with a trendy tattoo that will date and be shit in 10 years - I've had cover ups over a tribal tramp stamp and various dodgy Japanese figures.

My DD had one on her 18th birthday. It is very small and discreet. I was working on her birthday so I couldn't go with her. My DH was dead against it but it looks really nice - only thing she is she wants more now!!!

Honestly best thing to do is to go with and help him decide tasteful tattoo/ placement. I got loads at 18 and regret a few of them but hid them from my parents for 6 years. If they had just left me too it I would definitely still had some dodgy ones but not half as many because I could've asked their opinions. He will 100% get them anyway so may as well be supportive about it x

I'm not a fan of big tattoos generally as I think there are too many downsides, the main one being is that it spoils certain looks if you want to present yourself in a certain way and show that particular part of your body. I don't see anything wrong with a discreet and meaningful smaller tattoo, though,but people who get tattoos generally like to show them off, don't they, rather than get them as a "I know it's there" little warm feeling in their heart type of thing, to commemorate someone or something special.

I think that 18 is too young but also that there's nothing you can do about it. The reason I think it's too young is because he'll probably get a design that he dislikes as he grows up (very likely - who likes to present the same way at 18 as they do at age 35?). But you can warn him of that and if he decides to go ahead then it's his own regret to bear, isn't it? He might end up regretting the design and thinking it dated or he might value it as being part of his youth and treasure it even if it DOES look dated in 15 years time! Who knows?

I think it’s wise to guide your DS in his choice of tattoo. There’s little you could do to stop him having one even if you wanted to.

Your husband, however, is clearly a man with impeccable taste.