To get married in secret, then forget about it

Another vote for a civil partnership. All the same legal protections as marriage, without any of the trappings or expectations. You can cherrypick the bits you fancy (we did the honeymoon part!).

We did! After 25 years together we got married, only our 2 DC knew as they were witnesses (both over 18). We have never bothered telling anyone and family still don't know. I don't feel it's sneaky, just none of their business. I don't tell them if I sign another form of legal document, why would I tell them about marriage, is my view.

Ive known lots who have done this, I personally, think this is how weddings should be anyway.

I did, 2 guests and a registry office. I haven’t announced it to anyone we only did it to make it easier if one of us dies.

My DSis tried this and her and her DH had a registry office job one Friday morning. Let it slip out casually the next week but DP's weren't having that at all and guilt tripped them into having a church blessing and a family party.
At the time we all just went along with it. DSis still can't stand up to them. Now with the benefit of age and not giving a fuck I would definitely have made them back off.

Do it, but note that marriage invalidates your will so you’ll just need to get it refreshed.

I did it, it was great, I absolutely recommend it. Google elopement packages if you want a weekend away or just book in at the registry office once you have your licence. We got a package, went away for a weekend and the B&B owners were our witnesses mainly because I had not discovered Mumsnet

(Edited because you can't unfortunately just turn up at the registry office due to the whole licence palaver which can take a couple of months depending on how busy your LA is)

My sister did this. Just got the neighbours along to witness. They just wanted the 'piece of paper' to appease our dad who was distraught that she was pregnant and not married - they had been together years but no plans to marry. All worked out fine, everyone happy.

We've just done this, with our adult DC as witnesses and we had a fabulous day. We got married at the Town Hall and it cost just under £200. Both of us hate fuss and I was really nervous, so I certainly wouldn't have wanted anyone else there! We've been together nearly 26 years and a lot of people assumed we were married anyway.

We went out for a meal afterwards and then let everyone know. Our parents, siblings and friends were fine about it and very happy for us. The only people who have had a problem are a couple of aunties, who feel we have deprived everyone of a big party!

We did - quick and simple. We invited 11 people, to the ceremony and a lunch afterwards - didn't tell anyone else beforehand and haven't made a thing about it since.

So much less hassle than a full blown wedding and reassuring on the next of kin and financial aspects.

Get married. Inform people after. I’d have your kids there though.

If you're in Swansea or the surrounding regions, I claim first dibs!! I'll be a witness

We did this! We did tell close family beforehand but made it clear it wasn’t a big deal - just nipping to the registry office in our lunchbreak. We didn’t feel comfortable with hiding it. My dad was a bit upset - I think he was hoping to do the toast/walking down the aisle thing. But otherwise, our families accepted it. Definitely the right solution for us.

We did. About 25 years together, once we had wound down at work and had amalgamated the finances ( even) more, we just wanted the tax advantages etc that being married brings (we were planning to live in France as well, and it is much simpler there if you are married.)

We didn’t tell anyone except our witnesses for about six years! But as we get even older, we find being married is somehow a comfort in times of ill health or other stresses.

We did this last month - the plan was us plus 2 friends as witnesses but woke up to 4 inches of snow! Cue frantic calls to round up 2 local emergency witnesses. Ended up being a lovely ceremony & home by lunchtime!
No big announcement afterwards, people found out gradually. Not changed my name but we did make new wills in anticipation.
Best thing we ever did, really happy that we kept it small.
Do it!

It’s hard cos once you start saying “ooo
we will invite X then you feel you have to invite Y” so we just decided none - it was that or at least 30 id say

Me and OH did it a few years back - we thought of just roping someone off the street to act as witnesses but decided that we wanted someone we knew we could rely on not to gossip, so asked a cousin of my OH's and his wife. None of my family know about it (we don;t have kids).

We've been together a long time and did it did it solely for financial reasons - we wanted to ensure that whichever of us survived the other would benefit from each others spousal pensions, and also avoid inheritance tax.

My Dsis did this. I only found out last week that she got married in the summer! She had the wedding she wanted and I’m not bothered that I wasn’t invited but the secrecy around it afterwards was daft.

Another one who did it that way. Just us two, my son and my sister as witnesses and my sister;s husband. Booked a tiny registry office, came home for home made wedding cake and fizz then off to the pub for a meal. It was honestly perfect.

Did treat the witnesses!

I had clients who did this for tax reasons.

They didn't tell anyone even afterwards. Not even their children!

If that's what you want then do it x
Its a legal contract first and foremost x

Same fine here - think it’s was £37 - it was just something we needed to do legally and it before different sex couples could have a civil partnership.

we didn’t treat the witnesses to lunch after

I wouldn't actually say it was unromantic and many people loved the way we did it.