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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not invite BIL

52 replies

nomorepanicattacks · 30/12/2024 14:01

We will be having a family christening in the spring and inviting anyone who travels for it to a get together at our house the evening before. Last family event ended with BIL being verbally abusive and incredibly insulting to me and bad mouthing me to the rest of the family. He has a history of this behaviour with all members of his family and they always appease him and welcome him back at a later date. He crossed a line with me and I do not want to invite him to my house. He will come to the christening which is fine as he is still part of the family and it is on neutral ground. DH wants to invite him to our home for the get together as he wants harmony with him.. the thought of having him in my house again makes me feel sick and will stress me out no end... After the last event, DH also said he would not be inviting him back. He has now changed his mind. No compromise possible as it is an invite or not invite situation. Should I give in and go along with the invite? The insults and verbal abuse at the time were unfounded......the whole family agrees on that

OP posts:
664theneighbourofthebeast · 30/12/2024 14:28

Until his actions have consequences why would he change or even apologise ? You refusing to have in your house because he cant even be civil is not at all unreasonable.
Your DH thinking he should be free to behave towards you like that without consequences is a problem. Your home is your sanctuary and guests who don't treat both of you with appropriate respect should not be welcome. Your DH is letting you down.

Hoppinggreen · 30/12/2024 14:03

Arsehole wouldn't be setting foot in my house and I would expect DH to back me up on that.
If he is invited to the Christening though I bet he will end up at your house