To be fed up with comments on the size of my baby at DH family party

I think pp means people don't want their baby to be too skinny [as then they might be less resilient to illness etc], not that their skinny babies are unwanted babies.

Yes, I had a baby in neonatal (just for a couple of nights), and I can assure you, no one wants their baby to be so unwell that they have to be in neonatal care.

"No one wants a baby in NICU" is true, and does not mean "their baby is unwanted"!

Ditto "no one wants a too skinny baby" doesn't mean "skinny babies are unwanted"

I had a very small baby. I always felt judged for not feeding the baby well and for not eating enough during pregnancy. Bigger babies were cooed and their mothers celebrated. Enjoy the attention. Society generally loves bigger babies.

Oh I got this all the time with dd, she was a very chunky baby & tbf a massive toddler. People might mean well but I got fed up with it, it was as if there was NOTHING else to say about her which was a bit hurtful at times.
It all evens out anyway, she was no taller or bigger than average by school age & has grown up a slim & willowy adult.

OP, you're not oversensitive. That's just what people to say to pressure others into accepting bad manners, thoughtlessness and hurtful comments and actions. You feel how you feel and that's perfectly valid.

I had a big baby too. Bigger than yours. And I completely understand why you're pissed off. I think unless someone has been in this position they won't understand that it's literally every single day 10, 20, 30 + times a day that you're hearing "ooh what a big baby!" From family, friends, neighbours, shopkeepers, random members of public. It fucking grates. And it can easily start to make you feel paranoid that something is wrong, because clearly your baby is so unusual that every Tom, Dick and Harry feels compelled to comment.

In the end with family and friends I had to tell them all to pack it in. I was friendly about it because I don't think there was any malice. I think most of the time it's just something to say to make conversation. But I told them I was getting fed up of hearing it a million times a day and it'd be great if I could have a break from it. I don't think anyone was particularly upset but even if they had been, I'd have stuck to my guns because it's a fair request.

With strangers I just gritted my teeth and moved on ASAP. It never felt worth a confrontation over a short interaction.

I once had to judge a baby competition - bad move! I chose a dainty little thing when apparently I should have chosen a chubby one - gulp! They were all lovely......

Clearly they've never been anywhere near a Neonatal unit, or do they assume none of those babies are wanted? 🤦‍♀️

Did you feel some sort of implied criticism? Otherwise best to let it float by.

People used to comment on how skinny mine were - I just ignored it.

Nobody wants a skinny baby

😳

Oh dear, this poster has now offended all parents of skinny babies in order to try and make the parent of a chubby baby feel better!

ALL babies are lovely and most thankfully are very much loved and thought beautiful and perfect by their parents.

I’m pretty sure the most coveted attribute of a baby is that it’s born alive and healthy.

‘Body hating women’ except here you are saying nobody wants a skinny baby. Absolutely stupid

this reminds me of my once partner saying “it’s the size of a turkey” to someone with huge baby. It was huge, I couldn't get up out of the chair when said baby fell asleep in my lap, and I’m not a small person.

i think people just have different filters

I agree with posters who think it’s a compliment about being healthy, but I understand it riled you

I was born in the 60s and tipped scales at 10 lbs..can you imagine!! That was when babies were usually 5lbs!!

Lots of people do, there’s regularly threads about it on here. Just because you don’t feel something, doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone.

You are being sensitive, most parents are. It is just chit chat.

I am short and so far my son is fairly tall so people commenting he is big is reassuring he will be average height - hopefully. My dd was 9th percentile and lots of comments on being small when i was worried she wasnt growing enough. I would never think people worry about babies being big due to my personal experience but seeing this post i do expect that comments about being big would have worried me too.

There isnt much to say about babies other than big/small lots of hair etc. As your baby grows and interacts more comments will be about latest cute/funny thing he has said.

You could have a lighthearted moan to mil or sil and hope they take the hint but try not to be offended if they continue.

They're just making conversation and don't mean it negatively. You're being over sensitive.

I’ve got a skinny baby and he’s very much wanted! What an insensitive comment.

Nope I'm not offended in having a small baby. She's still very much cuddly.

Erm, my daughter is skinny and small for her age and very much wanted thanks.

What the fuck. Can't literal newborns exist without being criticised for their appearance now?

I don't get offended when people say my babies small so I doubt she was offended

We had this all the time. Even now DS, at 12, is taller than me and people assume he's a good few years older than he is.

When you show or hand someone your baby they feel obliged to comment on something and given that most of them are pretty unremarkable to anyone other than its parents (and grandparents usually) a comment on the baby's size is a safer bet than 'yep. Definitely a baby. Do you want it back or what?'

People are complimenting you and the baby when they comment on how big he is. Generally a big baby looks, hearty, healthy, strong and resilient. And extra cuddly!

This was probably much worse for the parents of the smaller baby.

I never comment on size if the baby is noticeably smaller than average. I have a couple of friends who had small, premature babies, and know they found it quite upsetting when people commented on how small their baby is, even months and months after the birth.

@GreyCarpet i have a tiny baby too and people are always commenting. They always try and give me advice on how to fatten him up even though he’s just small all over. The worst was the consultant in hospital who came to check him over and started telling me I shouldn’t have smoked or had energy drinks in my pregnancy. I was outraged and so was DH who immediately pointed out I have never smoked and hadn’t even had a cup of coffee during pregnancy!

No body wants a skinny baby

What sort of body shaming nonsense is that? 😳

My middle DS went full-term and was born at just over 5lbs.

He was very much 'wanted' thanks.

You're being oversensitive. Surely it was complimentary, everyone loves big babies. I used to hear that I was starving mine because he wasn't very big 😇

No body wants a skinny baby - your chunky chubster is ideal and they are all telling you this. Don't let body hating woman nonsense affect your feelings for these people who love your baby.

I'd be proud and see it as a compliment if I were you!