To be fed up with comments on the size of my baby at DH family party

No I didn’t wish my 3lb baby ‘fat’ I absolutely wanted her to be healthy but I never thought oh I wish she was fatter like one of those chunky babies. Can’t say it ever entered my mind. Clearly it does for some but not all.

The poster was saying the OPs female family members were body shaming her baby for being fat and commented on people not wanting skinny babies. It was about body image.

No. Tbh, I was just glad she was alive because she very nearly wasn't.

I didn't care whether she was chubby or not 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes my 4lb baby was very wanted, but I would have wished her fat, wouldn't you? Chubby babies are the preference for the majority. It has always been this way.

I’ve had a skinny baby who was just petite and was always on the lower end of the centile chart, I have also had a chunky baby too who had rolls of fat and the chubbiest face ever. Honestly people make comments on both regardless.

as it turns out my chunky baby is now 5ft 7 and a size 6 in clothes! 😂

Nah, it was all about looks, not health.

Otherwise she wouldn't be praising the 'chubby chubster' due to the possible health concerns there.

It's a bit like when someone wants to compliment someone who's overweight but feel the need to put 'skinny' women down at the same time.

"Men love curves hun, not a bag of bones", you know that sort of thing.

In a nice way you probably going to have to get used to it. Iv 2 that were always tall for their age, it was constant all the way through toddler years, all the way up to high school.
Only downside is people expect them to behave differently as they think they are older

I’m sure the poster meant “no one wants their baby to be skinny” (due to the general but not always applicable health concerns around underweight babies) rather than no one wants a skinny baby! It was also obviously just a flippant comment to cheer OP with the giant baby up. Everyone needs to calm down on this thread and grow a thicker skin and stop looking for reasons to be offended.

DD was scrawny at 5lb. I worried about how tiny she was. DS was a chunk. I was much happier for people to tell me how chunky he was than how tiny she was. A small baby is always a worry.

No body wants a skinny baby - your chunky chubster is ideal

How about people just get used to telling people what they are/have is OK without criticising the alternative?

Its not body shaming...babies who are chubby or chunky are viewed by many as healthy. Calling a baby big is totally different from calling an adult big

Are we body shaming babies now?

Given some women have skinny babies and are quite happy with them...

Why do some people always feel the best way of supporting what someone is is by criticising what they are not?

I’ve had a chunky baby over 9lb and followed top percentile also teeny weeny twins who just never got a chubby phase. People comment on baby size the way you’d comment on the weather. It’s not meant with malice. I’d say society in general coos over bigger babies as a sign of health and resilience. I’m sure that’s not true in all cases. Anecdotally the smaller of the twins was hospitalised several times over things her sister managed to bounce back from. Croup bronchitis rsv type stuff.

Yeah I meant physically too, you clearly don’t understand genetics and the immune system as much as you think you do. That poster wasn’t on about health, no matter how much you try and twist it. Sometimes posters make shitty comments, and that’s what that poster did.

People will alwsys make comparisons when another baby in the room. Annoying - but human nature .

Mine was 9lb 13oz at birth - at 6 weeks he looked more like 6 months as they do just pile it on as they are growing so fast (exclusively breast fed) people commrr et BTEC constantly about ‘how big’ he was and couldn’t my believe it when I said his age.

by time started school actually was one of the smallest in the class (summer born) - so it all evened out .

i don’t think people were trying to hurt you - they just often can’t help themselves and say all manner of stuff talking about the babies.

don’t take it to heart - be glad that your baby is strong and healthy and doing well.

Don’t worry what anyone else thinks.

Nobody thinks you shouldn't want your baby! And I didn't mean resilient in an emotional way, I meant physically.

We all want our babies to be as healthy as they can be.

Baby size is just one of the things people comment on. I had both ends of the spectrum with DS1 - born on the 0.4th and over the 98th later on! I think it's an easy thing to comment on, but I do know how annoying it is for both sides, just try and shrug it off. DS2 was a very average 50th centile child and I noted the lack of comments! 😂

When people talk about a babies weight or size, it's totally different to commenting on an adults weight/size.

No amount of scratching around and reaching will make me think that poster wasn't shaming 'skinny' babies.

Or that they were thinking about it from a health POV rather than aesthetics.

Hence the 'Chunky chubster' remark.

Wether my baby was slim or fat I wanted her and thought she was beautiful and resilient and was proud of her body. Can’t imagine looking at my baby and thinking oh god I wish you had fatter legs, you’d be healthier then. It’s not even as ‘factual’ as you think as there is a lot that goes into body shape and the immune system. Clearly you don’t understand as you agree with the stupid poster. Doesn’t mean you are right though, and we clearly won’t agree.

Perhaps it was badly phrased, yes.

But the general perception is that very skinny babies are less resilient to illness. My chunky baby has just recovered from norovirus and then an ear infection back to back and he's visibly lost a bit of weight, his cheeks have slimmed down. If he'd been skinny to begin with, he'd have perhaps needed more medical intervention.

So as humans, we perceive fat babies to be more healthy, which of course is an oversimplification, but has a basis in some fact.

Conversely, when we see an obese adult we perceive them to seem less healthy than a mid sized adult, which again is a simplification but has a factual basis

Edit - I'm sorry your LO was premature and people made horrid comments. I hope they are getting on well

Yes, it was both ignorant and insensitive, especially in the same breath as 'body shaming'.

You couldn't make it up 🤦‍♀️

But it does imply there is something wrong with a skinny baby. And yes many have had difficult starts (my DD was 3 months premature, I’ve had every comment about her size), but many babies are just skinny built. The poster having a go at ‘body hating women’ whilst making judgement on babies body size show her intensions were not as pure as you are trying to make out. It was a poorly judged, thoughtless comment.

I had an 11lb - er! When he was born the midwives joked whether I had bought his school uniform to the hospital. And a consultant came in to ‘see’ as they hadn’t see such a big baby. I was still in the recovery room. I laughed with them though.

I do think it’s insensitive to bang on an about it as you’re a new mum. But just enjoy the bundle you have. I used to get in there first with the ‘big’ comments in a lighthearted way as he was massive to be fair. Slim 6ft now. I have a really tall daughter that everyone always comments on. I gently correct them if they say she is ‘big’ and replace with ‘tall’. You just need confidence to do that. I consider 9lbs normal for me! all my babies much bigger than that between 10 and 11 lbs !

I'm sure ppster didn't mean it like that, 2 of my babies were so small when they were born, I am not offended by a throwaway remark made by a stranger