to think DS's girlfriend is taking the piss and he needs legal advice

I'm guessing "MW" is "midweek", but I would also like confirmation of that. 🙏

Your son's girlfriend shouldn't be paying him any rent, that way she will have no claim on his property. She should be paying half of all the bills - council tax, gas, electric, water, broadband, home contents insurance, TV licence etc. She should also be paying for the food and drinks she consumes. She won't have any money left if she's only working three days a week on the minimum wage and paying her share.

The only thing that will make her work full time is for your son to make her go 50/50 on everything. If your son is happy to pay for everything and her wages are hers to blow on make up and clothes there is not a lot you can do.

If they break up and she refuses to leave, he will have to change the locks while she is out and not let her back in (she can collect her belongings at an agreed time and your son should have someone present to ensure she takes her things and leaves).

Very good advice here. I was thinking similar.

Other than pointing out the practical problems of supporting someone and their business in his home, I don't think there's a lot you can do. This is his choice, and if he's not happy with any part of it it's up to him to manage that. He isn't just waiting for someone to tell him to dump her.

Actually it's sensible that she's not paying anything, it gives her absolutely no rights.

Until she does. And then if she does, he should have renters/lodging agreement, or a living together agreement to protect his property.

As to working out the property, only he can manage that. But he's right that it would need to be dealt with properly.

Sounds like a whole lot of 'none of your business'.

As for PP 'watch she doesn't get pregnant'... what with a telescope? how would you control that? secretly drugging them with contraception? right back to the 'non of your business'.

Adults who think they have a say in or control of other adults relationships need a therapist. Time to let your kids fly on their own, otherwise they'll fly off and never come back.

I agree. I honestly don't think there is much the op can do.

What is an MW job?

He can kick her out the flat whenever he feels like it. But presumably that's his decision, not yours. You sound like you're not keen on her. But it's his life. You're probably right in that he'll get sick of her, but it's not hard to get her out of the house. She's in quite a vulnerable position really so I'd hope he'd give her reasonable notice if he did want her to go.

I agree with this

the real issue is him working on his own boundaries and ability to put them into practice.

let’s hope it’s a learning curve

that said you never what privately goes on between two people

Is he actually unhappy with this arrangement?

I would not be a part time stay-at-home girlfriend because she is putting herself in a precarious position should the relationship not work out. But if your son loves her, values her partnership and this is an arrangement they have come to mutually then I'm not sure on what grounds you are proposing to seek legal advice on his behalf.

Do you genuinely think this is an abusive or coercive relationship, or do you just not like the choices your adult son is making?

No point seeking legal advice if he doesn't want to. It would be a waste of money. I have a friend whose husbands like this she's happy for him not to work much and pay less towards finances, some people are. In fact I have a lot of friends in couples like this. I think it's hard for you to see this happening but if he's staying with her and happy you need to leave it be.

So regards her rights, if she ever does decide to pay some money towards the upkeep/ bills then that money would need to go into a separate account that your son’s mortgage is never paid from. That way even if she ever ‘made a claim’ for money paid to him, there is no evidence that the money was ever used towards his mortgage and therefore it can be shown as just money for bills etc. this will mitigate any risk. Then regards the business, many leasehold agreements have clauses about forbidden activities within the property, running a business from said property is usually one. Ex estate agent here.

He is an adult and he has to learn for himself. Mothers pitting themselves against their son's gf/wife will very rarely go in the mother's favour. You should keep out of it.

He needs to check the terms of his mortgage if the freeloader wants to run a business from his home.

My advice here is to tread very carefully. You don't say how old your son is, but mine is now 30 and somewhat settled down, however, in his 20s he had several dubious relationships and I spent alot of time with my heart in my mouth saying and doing very little unless he came to me, which he often did.

If I tried to stick my oar in unprompted, he'd almost double down on going his own way, because "young bucks" like to think they know more than old crones who've been round the block.

I would say do your research very quietly and have it to hand, while keeping the lines of communication wide open. Even if the GF isn't your cup of tea, try to remain neutral and welcoming, as any hint of antipathy will give her ammunition to drive a wedge between you and your son. Once they're not living at home, it's very hard to do anything other than be ready with a safety net if it all goes wrong, unfortunately.

Whatever happens I wish you all the best, and your DS of course

She's just a house guest, he can kick her out any time he wants. It is better than her paying rent.

And how exactly will Op do that 😬

YABU - because although there are serious problems here, your son is an adult, you don’t have a financial interest in the flat, and you need to let him make his own choices (even mistakes) without trying to rush in and save him.

Watch that she doesn’t get pregnant.

Your son is an adult. He needs to deal with this freeloader himself and preferably soon before she takes him to the cleaners. None of your business really op.

As long as she doesn't give him any money towards the mortgage (but she should pay bills) and he doesn't marry her she won't have any rights over his house. Running a business from home is a different question. He needs to find out the insurance implications of that and then man up to tell her she can't do it if he doesn't want her to.

Yes. It isn't any of her business.

Your son is in trouble since he cant say no to her. She will probably make him marry her.