to think DS's girlfriend is taking the piss and he needs legal advice

If OP is literally watching, I imagine that might put a dampener on things

With him living in the property she has none. She is technically a rent free lodger so has no rights. If he decides to throw her out h needs to not leave the property until she is out s then she may try changing locks and claiming squatters rights.

So the GF is lazy for not wanting to work but is also wrong for wanting to start a beauty business?

Also I wonder if you’d make your DD’s BF lay the table and clean up? Everyone is different but personally to me a guest means they are taken care of. If guests offer to help it’s nice but I certainly wouldn’t insist.

Non paywall link

https://archive.ph/wzf8d

Your DS is wrong. She's not a tenant, there's no tenancy agreement and she's not paying rent or money towards the mortgage.

www.lawsociety.org.uk/public/for-public-visitors/common-legal-issues/cohabitation-your-rights

If he's concerned, he should get a cohabitation agreement drawn up to state she has no right to a share of the equity should they separate, and any monies she is paying is towards bills not mortgage. Don't let her pay towards any home improvements, only furnishings that she could take with her.

You might want to encourage him to check:

1. the insurance situation with a business being run from the flat. Not in a ‘you shouldn’t let her do it’ angle but a ‘check if it needs changes’ angle.
2. the mortgage situation with a business being run from the flat (same - check whether it’s an issue, rather than don’t let her)
3. the mortgage situation with another adult living there. Usually banks don’t like having another adult living there without them being on the mortgage as it makes it difficult for them to reposses - so will require formal paperwork declaring that she has no claim on the property. Then handily what covers the bank also covers your son.

I should have added I'm not a lawyer or a legal expert just from experience from DH.

If she is planing to work from home I would have 2 concerns. If your DS has bought the flat but it's not freehold (I'm in Scotland so please bear with me) then he may have to pay capital gains tax if a business is being run from his premises. if it's from a landlord then he will/may be in breach of his letting agreement. I don't know about English law and I only know about Scottish law as DH was planning to claim exemptions on energy, council tax etc but it would have cost too much so just went ahead with working from home without claiming anything. It's worth looking into.
I should also add that I haven't read everything so appreciate this may already have been covered.

Even if she was paying rent, it's fairly simple. If they're not married, she will have no entitlement to stay if they break up. Business or no.

If it's sons flat, it's his flat. She has no right to it, (if not paying anything, named on mortgage or married)
There is a stated case over one aprry owning a flat, the other paid rent. When they split, the non-owner wanted a share of the property. The judge ruled against them because rhe judge said if they hadn't lived there, they would have had to pay to live somewhere else.
Basically, she is a lodger, only reasonable notice is needed and 2 weeks is reasonable.

Haven’t read past this post. I have recently found a deep well of rage that no-one (read: my parents) told me that what I was experiencing in my relationship wasn’t normal and wasn’t ok. I feel now that no-one looked out for me, leaving me materially substantially worse off.

I think now I would have to say something- but I might do it in a “please let me say this, and hear it, and then I won’t mention it again but know that if you ever decide to act on what I am about to say I will help you, and if you don’t I will still support and love you, and be supportive of your chosen partner. But I won’t be able to retrospectively save you” sort of way. And then stick to it, don’t eye roll or sigh at the girlfriend, or mention it again.

I don't think adult DC partners count as guests, do they? They are there because adult child wants them there, it's not like the parents have invited them like they might with their own friends, or their 80 year old great Aunty Ethel.

Saying that, my Mum was a guest in my house at Christmas until she was 86/87 years old - she would always do a little bit of veg prep or whatever she could manage from where she was parked. She would not have dreamed of going to bed for most of her visit. If she'd been able to stand up for long periods in her final years, you bet she would have been helping with clearing up, dishwasher, cups of tea etc.

OP can't tell him what to do but she 100% as a loving parent tell him her concerns and say I respect that you will make you own choices but I would be remiss if I didn't point out the following.

That is exactly what I would do in similar circumstances @Critsey

I think this is to do with how you are raised. In my house it would be very rude indeed to ask guests to do chores or help with food prep - the whole point is that they are your guests so should be hosted.

I do think OP's gf is a guest in this scenario. OP should expect her husband, son and adult children to help out, but not a new gf in my opinion.

It's a huge leap to suggest I would be "offended or insulted" . I don't understand why you would think that.

What’s the mumsnet female version of a cocklodger???
Op if your son was a daughter the responses would be very different. Misogyny is rife here!

No it wouldn't be... I would still tell her to stay out of it.

This isn't coercive abuse its the OP thinking shes 'lazy' and a 'freeloader' but she doesn't know the ins and outs of this and its not her relationship, money or life.

If my mam had got involved in my life like this I would have told her where to shove it. Same way I never dreamed of having a say in my mother could do with her relationships/life/money.

Why leap to such extreme reactions? No. I wouldn't be "insulted" or "offended". I might think it's a bit odd.

I also think being "waited on" is a weird way describe waiting for lunch or dinner to be ready.

And I wouldn't want some one "helping out" in my kitchen ("where do you keep , x,y and z? Or getting offended because I don't go in for the obsessive scrubbing and cleaning of everything which seems to be the norm on here)

No it isn't. She has the status of a lodger.

This thread would be so different if the OP thought her daughter was in a coercive, abusive relationship or if her daughters BF was freeloading.

Because this is about a young man….

I've read some of the replies and some people are advising that any money she pays should be kept separate from the mortgage

i just wanted to be add that you should seek legal advice around this and the money that she pays for her keep.

It is my understanding that in a legal dispute she could argue that if any money she pays goes towards ANYTHING to do with the house then she is INDIRECTLY paying the mortgage, or at least assisting him to.

That means electricity, heating, food, council tax, repairs, decorating. She is paying bills that allow him to pay the mortgage.

I don't think it's enough to just keep that money separate. He may end up having to buy out her implied interest in the property later. That's why banks are so keen to get cohabitees to sign documents putting the bank ahead of themselves

You're making it sound like she asked her to scrub the toilet.
It is not rude to ask a guest that is staying for a week to help set the table. More so a guest who will presumably become family if the relationship progresses.