To think DP is being used by so called "friend"

How frustrating that he cannot or will not see how dodgy this is. His "anarchist " friend knows a mug when he sees one!

I was thinking the same—I have unfortunately known many people who have gotten cancer. Not once has anyone provided medical records as proof. There is a lot of desperation to prove the cancer diagnosis here, which is suspect.

I think your dp is a mug and think the friends are cheeky fuckers and possibly liars. Who needs to send blood test results to prove cancer to a friend? Someone who is planning a scam. No wonder they don't want the money traced to them because they will get criminal convictions for fraud. Sorry but this has scam written all over it. I think you do have a right to put your foot down because if your dp gets arrested it will have huge repercussions for you. It's time to put a stop to it.

Other friends wouldn't get involved for tax reasons?! What does that mean? I don't understand that if friends avoided helping out for XYZ reasons, then why wouldn't the same apply to your DH tax situation? Makes no sense. Just asked my DH what he thinks, he does a lot around anti money-laundering etc and he said your DH is on a hiding to nothing. Very foolish.

Do you know any of these other friends who have refused to help, well enough to talk to them about how worried you are about DH doing it?

On the 1 hand, if all goes tickety-boo then phew, no lasting damage (other than the friend getting your DH involved in another scheme that could be even more dodgy) but on the other hand...eeek...there are a lot of 'what ifs' that should be clanging massive alarm bells for your DH!! I think if my DH did something like this and disregarded my concerns so easily, I'd be majorly pissed off and would find it hard to move on from it.

You must be tearing your hair out! 😤🤯

I’d also add that you need to protect yourself too. Who’s to know that this isn’t something your DH and you decided to do? What if there’s trouble and you’re accused of knowing what’s happening but not informing anyone?

The whole thing stinks and your DH is a fool.

I don’t want to be too outing here, but a not dissimilar situation happened with my sister’s husband. He ended up being arrested, charged with money laundering, and even served a short sentence in prison. The worst part was that he lost his career—he had a very sought after/difficult to get degree which he had spent years working to get, and he was struck off after the incident.

I think your DP perhaps thinks he’s in too deep now, he’s promised a lot, and it’s “too late” to pull out now. Trust me when I say that it’s not “too late.” I really do hope that you don’t have children.

I’m confused as to how your husband’s mate’s name isn’t already attached to the money?

If ‘Dave and Jackie’ are a well-known couple on a music scene then surely most people would assume any money supporting her living expenses would also be helping him, that as a couple he would have access to that money.

Unless they do not live together and have completely separate finances I suppose - but then surely Dave could set up the GFM for Jackie himself?

Has your husband met or spoken with Jackie? Does she even know photos of her in a vulnerable state were taken, put on the internet and are being used to raise money?

All mentions so far are of your husband handing the money to Dave, if he’s so keen to keep a distance to the money surely your husband would be handing it to Jackie?

A friend’s brother did a mate a favour - and ended up in jail… Your DH should never have started the GoFundMe in the first place but he most definitely shouldn’t get involved in flying over with the money! He’d be involving himself in fraud - or worse.

He should either transfer the money by legitimate and traceable means, or he should return it all to those who donated.

Tupperjen said:
To me, sounds like money laundering. They are selling contraband and are being paid via "donations" to a dodgy gofundme... possibly multiple appeals. But they don't want any link between them and the seller - but instead they are putting your DH in the frame. Nice.

OP, I completely agree with this. Please tell your DH this. Your DH is either a nice person being taken advantage or he is in cahoots with them and a criminal mastermind.

EDIT:
I just read out your initial post and updates to a police officer relative andcthe strongly advised against your DH becoming more involved in this situation and that taking the money to Germany would be a mistake as it is likely the proceeds of crime.

But WHY does the money have to be untraceable? What’s your DH’s explanation for this? Surely that is raising red flags to him?

Have you mentioned the £500 that he previously 'invested' in one of his friend's 'businesses' which was never seen again? In light of that 'investment', I'm not sure how he can claim that there is no risk. Most people would have stopped trusting their friend at that point.

It's concerning how he is refusing to see why you are worried about what he is doing. Does your DP paying to take the money to Germany and back impact your finances in any way?

I imagine that a wad of cash could be one of the things they look for when they X-ray your bags at airport security. At the very least he could be having a difficult conversation with customs?

Where in the chain is the money going to change from £££ to euros?

This is a bonkers plan and your husband is being dim to say the least to have anything to do with it

Like Outerspacepotato above, how will your husband prove he gave the cash to them? If the GoFundMe says it's for Dave and Jackie because Jackie has cancer and they need living expenses, then your DH cashing it out and not proving he gave it to them could be seen as fraud. Good friend or not, if donors come after your "D"H he might have to repay them out of your household monies.

To me, sounds like money laundering. They are selling contraband and are being paid via "donations" to a dodgy gofundme... possibly multiple appeals. But they don't want any link between them and the seller - but instead they are putting your DH in the frame. Nice.

Sorry please ignore above post

WRONG THREAD!

Using the following words are enough to merit a delete and block - online and IRL:

Holibobs
Chrimbo
Bubs
Hubs
Babbas
Chrimble

Soumds like a scam… can you be sure the wife even has cancer?

One other thing I haven't seen anyone raise is how is your husband going to prove he gave the proceeds of the GoFundMe to his friend?

Untraceable cash, as in can't be tracked and is the friend going to give him the equivalent of a notarized receipt?

What are the tax implications for you as a married couple here if he can't prove he dispersed the funds to the intended recipient?

Bless his pea picking heart, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

How… weird. I know they’re friends and all that but I’d be seriously put off by this whole situation and my partner aiding someone in this sort of dodgy schemes.

I’m sorry, OP - let’s hope nothing goes sideways for your DH. The problem is if they keep coming back for more.

@Queenjuliana hmmm...surely even if it's shifty he could just do it via western union or moneygram or something. Why the need to have someone physically bring it over? Especially If he's claiming it's legal.
If he just wants to see him for a holiday then say that. It just makes me feel pretty uneasy!

Your husband doesn't have the sense of a chicken, sorry.

Who has been donating to the fund? Are there large donations? He could be abetting benefit fraud and possibly acting as a money mule transporting laundered cash. Doing this with his name attached and not theirs, and wanting untraceable cash transported over international borders doesn't meet the smell test for being on the up and up.

I'd have divorced my husband if he had this little sense.

I was thinking along those lines. Exactly how does it get to the dp's bank account plus a lot of banks only allow a certain amount of cash to be withdrawn at a time. With my bank the amount is 2.5k per month and they will ask about what the money is for. The only way round that is to use a bank card to withdraw cash. Say you have a £500 limit per day. So that would be 18 days to withdraw £9k. I think you can withdraw larger sums from the bank branch but it's at their discretion.

I think you need to get legal advice. Firstly, I would be making it very clear what the consequences would be should he be arrested for fraud, i.e., you not getting involved in any way to help. You also need to check the implications for you..if this is fraud or money laundering, would you be an accessory? do you have kids? Are there any financial implications for you if he is arrested. sorry, it all sounds very dramatic, but that's the worst-case scenario.