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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not help this morning?

39 replies

GummyBearr · 30/12/2024 07:43

I was up for about 3 hours last night as my baby wouldn’t sleep. DH is at the moment at home looking after her I’m back at work.

The toddler goes to nursery full time and due today. I’m working today, was off the Christmas week.

Toddler woke up early and baby slept so I slept with baby.

We wake up late and DH and toddler watching TV on the sofa, DH half asleep.

AIBU not to help to get them out of the house. He has not succeeded once in his own before. It would basically mean he has them both to look after.

OP posts:
Namechangedforthis25 · 30/12/2024 10:40

GummyBearr · 30/12/2024 10:30

Toddler is in nursery. I work from home so shooting myself in the foot really if not getting them out of the door.

Honestly, though, this feels like the last straw. Outdated, old fashioned views, that no, I didn’t see coming. I actually felt I had one of those pulling their weight at home. Well, until the children arrived!!

Sorry to hear that

presumably still happy for you to work and earn money though - so not that old fashioned when it suits him

Be tough - he can sort it. Close your door, don’t come out if he needs you - just say you are on calls or in training all day

RupertCampbellBlacksEgo · 30/12/2024 10:34

He chose to create two kids but fails to perform basic parenting? Deeply unattractive, making himself a burden.

Original poster
GummyBearr · 30/12/2024 10:30

Toddler is in nursery. I work from home so shooting myself in the foot really if not getting them out of the door.

Honestly, though, this feels like the last straw. Outdated, old fashioned views, that no, I didn’t see coming. I actually felt I had one of those pulling their weight at home. Well, until the children arrived!!

OP posts:
Saltandvin · 30/12/2024 08:33

Don't you (or he) just drop the toddler whenever they're ready? Some children arrive for 8am, some much later. Won't he just drop them off in a bit? I wouldn't be rushing if I were him either.

BallerinaRadio · 30/12/2024 08:29

If you're not a team parenting two kids things and this actually quite small issue which is easily resolved by talking and planning is a big issue you're in for a long and arduous road I'm afraid ...

DustyLee123 · 30/12/2024 08:28

If you’re working and he’s looking after baby, he should have been up in the night.

Original poster
GummyBearr · 30/12/2024 08:25

Haha - those saying things along the lines can he not look after his children, how did you let it get there…. I’m actually raging and feel combative but shall refrain from being a dick here

But to address it anyway. Yeah, this morning feels like the straw that….

OP posts:
Pineapplewaves · 30/12/2024 08:20

I would leave them to it, there is no legal obligation to get your toddler to nursery so if they are late or don't make it in at all it doesn’t matter (other than you've paid for it). One day with both of them and he might be keen to make an effort tomorrow.

Fiery30 · 30/12/2024 08:19

Its odd that the schedule for the day wasn't discussed last night itself. Then you wouldn't have to worry about all this. Your husband should be able to 'manage' to take care of his own children. Why wasn't this successful before? Were any actions taken to ensure that he is better prepared?

Nextyearhopes · 30/12/2024 08:13

One day he will be doing the school run snd he will HAVE TO get them there. Let him practice now.
Have a good day at work!

Ablondiebutagoody · 30/12/2024 08:12

Why can't he look after them both? Just go to work. He'll figure it out

DooDooDooDooDooDooDooDoo · 30/12/2024 07:57

It would not cross my mind to get involved. Not in a bad way but I'd just think he'll either take her or not take her.

It's up to him how he chooses to look after them today. You are at work so you do that, and he's at home so he's doing that.

MinnieBalloon · 30/12/2024 07:53

Did you and DH have a conversation the night before about who was doing what?

If so and you agreed he would take her to nursery, why would he need help?

Why have you allowed it to get to a point where he isn’t able to look after your children?

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 30/12/2024 07:46

He should be capable of looking after his two children without you. Do you not trust him to? You shouldn't have to 'help'. How far is the nursery?