Privacy on my break at work

I have to agree with @bluetonguegiraffe on this one.

Also anyone who uses the word ‘gender’ instead of ‘sex’ clearly doesn’t understand the first thing about the feminist movement.

@PostXmas I disagree although maybe HR could run some assertiveness training for those that clearly need it. (Majority on this thread by the looks of it!)

Then the OP would be equipped with the skills needed to tackle lots of other non work issues too.

Yup and they can be taught not to!

Be reasonable.
80% of posts and replies on MN are supporting/enabling Adults Not Adulting.

Are you seriously suggesting people should avoid politely saying "no", in case the other person takes it badly?

Where's the line for that? If the other person makes offensive comments? If the other person starts nicking their lunch?

Absolutely bonkers.

I echo this.

The solution isn't really for OP to assert herself (clearly she finds this difficult otherwise she wouldn't be posting).

The solution is for the company to either properly designate this space a quiet zone (it sounds like it is only informally used as such by its nature, rather than an explicitly made 'rule').

The welfare of employees and right to a restful break are what HR should be thinking of to help staff morale, improve retention etc. If it's a company big enough to have a canteen it's a company big enough to have a quiet space for employees and an HR team that are thinking about working conditions.

Seeing the other side of the coin, lots of workplaces barely have a space for you to have lunch at all. And many people don't really get to have a lunch break full stop due to how the working day pans out. So to ask for a dedicated area is a relative 'luxury'.

But I really don't think it's unreasonable, given the size of company we're talking about here, and that space is pretty much already meant to be like that.

Go for it OP - raise with HR you'd like this area considered to be a Quiet Space. It might not happen overnight but you never know!

This

Just say straightforwardly that you have personal stuff you need to get on with in your lunch time and you will see them when you are back at work.

Give them a chance to be adults about this.

It should be, absolutely. But I'm sure we've all worked with someone at one time or another who has created an atmosphere over nothing.

Of course they should assert their boundaries, but sometimes in a workplace situation I can see it creating difficulties if the other person decides to get all huffy about it.

And this issue has nothing to do with gender for me btw, so you're way off base with your assumptions in the last two paragraphs.

Also recommend headphones. Don't take them off if they come over, just smile and then focus again on lunch / phone etc.

@GreenwichMeanieTime I would just tell them that you don't want to waste your break from work when they are work and disturbing you.

Sometimes blunt is better and quicker

This is why I used to sit in my car, just the noise in general. I understand you don't have a car but headphones seems a good idea or maybe set a day with colleagues where you eat together then spend the week rest solo so you can recharge.

surely that is their problem and not the OP's?

You need to speak with them, preferably before lunchtime, and if needs be, bluntly. Better that they never approach you at lunchtime at all.

For heaven's sake, no one is suggesting that HR calls everyone in for individual meetings to discuss this, or hosts an all-day personal space awareness workshop.

There’s a designated quiet area. People aren’t using it as such. Two minutes to send an email saying “Please respect the quiet area and keep conversation to an absolute minimum” should not be a big ask for an HR team. It’s literally asking employees to make sure they’re abiding by a policy the company has implemented. That’s actually exactly what (amongst many other things) HR is for!

Maybe you got so excited about your award that you thought you were above covering the basics.

Why would you do this? That is odd and a bit rude.

Why not just explain before hand that you like to use lunchtime to be by yourself and catch up on your own stuff and you'd prefer it if they did not come to chat you at lunchtime?

Sit in the main bit, wait until they come in and sit down. Then stand up, say excuse me, and move to the quiet bit. Don’t apologise or explain.

I stopped having lunch years ago and go for a walk at lunch time

I really need my lunch time to be silent so I can recharge.

Haven't RTFT, while you're 100% right in wanting peace and quiet it might be a tricky one as you can't really stop people sitting nearby. Big headphones would help, and you just smiling and nodding at colleagues and not removing headphones, but I can't help but think I'd still have my nice solitude and quiet ruined if people where hovering around. It's a bit tricky.

Bring in ear phones and mention that you play soothing music to help with low level headaches.

Smile and say hope you understand, put them back on and ignore.

I feel for you, it sounds awful.

Play the headache card.
Pity you have to though.

Ear / head phones and tell them youre listening to a podcast?

Oh jeeze. You've just reminded me of a teaching assistant who started talking to me before she even walked through the door. She started in the corridor when she couldn't even see me!

In the end I used to save the jobs I had to do outside the classroom (gathering resources, communicating with other teaching staff etc), for just before she arrived. I also did the same "I'm not a morning person" thing when she talked at me. I didn't give her eye contact and made sure I was doing something that needed my full attention, and said it in an apologetic tone.

This is another reason that I love being ND.

I’d happily tell someone to leave me alone as I’m not in the mood for chatting and I’d give no fucks in doing so. If someone feels put out by that, well that’s their problem to solve, not mine.

If you’re always straightforward with people, they soon get over their hump and are generally respectful of your honesty.

Are you honestly arguing that adults should not assert reasonable boundaries as it might cause 'awkwardness'???

This is extraordinary!

So what if the other person feels a bit put out!? That's for them to manage their feelings. Not for OP not to have a reasonable boundary.

Its almost 2025! Do women honestly still think they are not allowed the most basic and most reasonable boundaries, not even requesting a quiet lunch alone, because it might cause a bit of 'awkwardness' !!!!!

OMG its like feminism never happened! We really need to bring back proper feminism and Women's Studies courses at university or something. This thread has genuinely appalled me.