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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to leave a NYE party early?

39 replies

4pmfireworks · 30/12/2024 03:52

Friends have sent a fairly casual invitation: "We're having a pot luck on NYE. Welcome to join!"
I would quite like to go, but would not want to stay until midnight. Is it rude to go and leave at about 10? Is it rude to say that's my intention?

Edit to add: the invitation is to myself and my husband, and we're both quite keen to go but leave early. If that's rude, we'll make a believable excuse and not go.

OP posts:
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CatPhonePot · 30/12/2024 09:13

I would be honest with friends. It’s no big deal to ask. I would not lie.

AlmosttimeforChristmas · 30/12/2024 09:13

Dontsparethehorses · 30/12/2024 04:35

I think saying you have plans is more rude- implies you have a better offer for the actual midnight part. I also think it’s fine to leave early! Mainly because I be will be doing the same OP! 😂

This!

Zanatdy · 30/12/2024 09:11

It’s fine. I am going out but not staying until midnight

TooMuchRedMaybe · 30/12/2024 09:09

Do you have a pet? Then you can just say they are afraid of the fireworks so you don't want to leave them alone for midnight.

Bugbeau · 30/12/2024 09:04

I think it’s fine. In my group of friends we have kids aged between 5-13 so we are doing something early-ish and most people planning to leave before midnight!

jolies1 · 30/12/2024 08:57

If you have kids I would just say babysitter can only stay till 11 / Granny worried about getting taxi home after midnight, but you would love to come for a few drinks and celebrate until then, if that wouldn’t cause any problems?

Chellybelle · 30/12/2024 08:50

If I'd arranged a small together and everyone went home before midnight I'd probably be a little bit annoyed but if there's other people there to carry on the party it would be fine.

ueberlin2030 · 30/12/2024 08:50

I'd politely decline. The idea of a NYE party is to bring in the new year together.

greengreyblue · 30/12/2024 08:49

I think it’s fine but I’d mention it upfront. I’m not a big nye fan but we have often celebrated the year in the evening and then been in bed before midnight. I guess it depends how many guests. If you are 2 of 6, it will have an effect. If you are 2 of 20, not so much.

Thelittleweasel · 30/12/2024 08:46

"Excuse us - we've been overcome with lust" is the best excuse!

@4pmfireworks

Oblomov24 · 30/12/2024 08:07

A party from 7-10pm sounds like my idea if heaven. I don't want to stay up till midnight. I'd just ask.

DepartingRadish · 30/12/2024 07:46

Ask them. I would do the same, but late nights absolutely ruin me now 😆

I'd thank them for the invite and say it would be brilliant to come, but that you aren't night owls anymore and you don't want to run the risk of being rude when you leg it at half ten. Could they let you know if they're happy for you to drop in for a bit - no worries if not as you'll catch up with them in the NY.

OliveLeader · 30/12/2024 07:43

Do you know how many people are going? If you’re two of twenty I think it’s fine for you to leave early, but if there are only a small number attending I think you would have to stick it out til midnight (or politely decline the invitation).

solopanda · 30/12/2024 07:40

4pmfireworks · 30/12/2024 04:54

Agree that it could be awkward if there are small numbers. Perhaps we'll go and if it seems fine to leave we'll invent a mild child-related reason to leave, but if it would be awful to leave we'll stay.

And if we do go, of course will take a pot, booze ec.

No you have to tell them in advance really. Don't say you have other plans. Say we'd love to come we'll probably leave about 10 as we get too tired to stay up to midnight unfortunately.

Lostinmusic22 · 30/12/2024 07:38

It could kill the atmosphere stone dead if it’s a small dinner party, I would try and stay to midnight, and leave immediately afterwards.

Droppit · 30/12/2024 07:36

Had to Google what pot luck meant in this context.
Was initially thinking some kind of partner swap soiree.

<Misses point of thread>

Stopsnowing · 30/12/2024 07:14

I have friends who invited themselves to mine for the early part of the evening because they had a real party to go to! I also fancy having a few people over for a low key gathering but not staying up til midnight as get too tired. It is fine - just ask them.

cordeliavorkosigan · 30/12/2024 07:14

I've had a few NYE parties and don't mind at all when people do this. Happened most times we've hosted. Since you know in advance, I think it's polite to say when you reply that you prefer to head to bed earlier and might not be able to stay, rather than just leaving. Agree with others that's better than saying you have other plans (like a better offer!) for later especially since you don't.

Jifmicroliquid · 30/12/2024 07:10

Me and my friends do early New Year. A few drinks and celebrations and then we finish at 10pm and go to bed. It sounds weird but it works for us. None of us like late nights.

BettyBardMacDonald · 30/12/2024 07:09

Dontsparethehorses · 30/12/2024 04:35

I think saying you have plans is more rude- implies you have a better offer for the actual midnight part. I also think it’s fine to leave early! Mainly because I be will be doing the same OP! 😂

Actually etiquettely speaking it's perfectly correct to drop into multiple parties on a single evening, especially NYE. Assuming they aren't seated dinner parties.

There's no insult to the host.

BettyBardMacDonald · 30/12/2024 07:07

Zonder · 30/12/2024 04:25

Absolutely fine. Just say it sounds great but you know you won't make it to midnight so you'll come for a few hours and ask what you can bring.

This. It's no big deal.

They may even be relieved.

MrsLJH · 30/12/2024 05:12

As a person hosting a similar type of party this year it really wouldn't bother me at all ☺️ I have already had at least 2 say they will pop in for a couple of hours but won't be staying until midnight.

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/12/2024 05:02

"We'd love to! However, fair warning.....we seem to have turned into a pair of old farts (when did that happend?!) so probably wont last until midnight! See you Tuesday!"

Selttan · 30/12/2024 04:59

I did this one year - my friends could not have cared less. I didn't plan it - it got to 11 and I was tired and wanted to go home, so I did.

Original poster
4pmfireworks · 30/12/2024 04:54

Agree that it could be awkward if there are small numbers. Perhaps we'll go and if it seems fine to leave we'll invent a mild child-related reason to leave, but if it would be awful to leave we'll stay.

And if we do go, of course will take a pot, booze ec.

OP posts:
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