Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't help but be jealous

108 replies

Lemon92 · 29/12/2024 23:34

Im a single parent to one DD, she is nearly 5. Love her to bits but I do long for another DC and she wants a sibling too, she is always asking for one and she would love the company of a sibling. My Dfriend of many years is a single parent and has a 6 yr old, 3 yr old and a very new newborn. She is not with the girls father but she does go back with him to get pregnant so they all have the same dad and then they seperate when she gets the positive test. I can't help but be jealous in a way as I wish for more DC but I can't see it happening. I'm late 20s. Anyone know how I can get past this feeling?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemon92 · 30/12/2024 00:21

Purgepossessions2025 · 30/12/2024 00:20

Is your friend’s life the sort of future you envisage for your daughter?

Growing up with close siblings I would like, the not working, no

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemon92 · 30/12/2024 00:20

This is what I worry about too, my DD being lonely, she notices all her friends have siblings so she keeps mentioning it now

OP posts:
Purgepossessions2025 · 30/12/2024 00:20

Is your friend’s life the sort of future you envisage for your daughter?

RogueFemale · 30/12/2024 00:19

Lemon92 · 30/12/2024 00:15

Yes, she has not worked since having her oldest.

Show quote history

Is that what you envy?

Original poster
Lemon92 · 30/12/2024 00:15

Purgepossessions2025 · 30/12/2024 00:13

It sounds like your friend has another baby every time she is required to look for work? Is she on UC?

Yes, she has not worked since having her oldest.

OP posts:
Purgepossessions2025 · 30/12/2024 00:13

It sounds like your friend has another baby every time she is required to look for work? Is she on UC?

GreyBlackBay · 29/12/2024 23:57

Why can't you have another child? If you don't have the resources for one then that's an excellent decision. If it's just that you don't have a partner you could adopt or possibly get A I (I think there are ethical issues here but it is legal and available).

I realise PP had a poor time being from a single mum household but that's not the experience of ever child of a single mum. It certainly wouldn't stop you adopting.

RogueFemale · 29/12/2024 23:51

I'm the daughter of a single mother, an only child.

I hated not having a father, mother / normal family. And just being this miserably small 'family unit'. It was lonely and horrible.

The way you talk about how you want more kids is all about you, not the child's needs (neither DD nor potential future child).

Think about your DD's needs first and foremost, not envying how many kids your friend has had with a deadbeat dad, who treats her and his kids like shit, FFS. How you can envy this woman, I've no idea.