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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else hate the expectation to shave down there?

683 replies

BearDownThere · 29/12/2024 21:40

Is anyone else fed up of the expectation/strong preference for going completely shave pubic hair? I’m female and have only had male partners, but prepared to believe women have this expectation too if others have experienced it. I mean each to their own, but personally I find it feels child-like. Has anyone managed to find a compromise with their partner on this?

YABU- It’s nice to do things for your partner

YANBU-my hair my choice

OP posts:
Glitchymn1 · 30/12/2024 13:27

I like a landing strip, not a huge fan of hair down below deck. DH isn’t a very hairy man, so doesn’t have much hair generally. He isn’t bothered either way.

When I was about 7 I can recall my aunt having a conversation with DM about finding a lump down below. This lump was there a couple of days . She bathed and had a good tug and lo and behold it was some balled up tissue- I think it’s haunted me. 🤣

CandyCane457 · 30/12/2024 13:22

JHound · 30/12/2024 11:45

Agreed.

It’s funny that apparently the pressure is from men / porn but the only people I find who refuse to respect women’s choices are other women - specifically those who have an issue with a woman’s choice to remove her body hair.

I couldn’t agree more- I’ve never felt pressure or disgust or anything from porn/a man about my bald fanny, but there sure is a lot of negativity from women about it on this thread!!

WasThatACorner · 30/12/2024 13:22

arcticpandas · 30/12/2024 13:20

If you want to shave then go ahead. I was talking about men expecting their partners to be all clean shaved like prepubertal girls.

Ahhhhhh, I must've got confused when you said "yes, I would call you a nonce" to a woman who said that she shaves and then doubled down calling her "miss classy paedophile".

My bad.

MidnightMeltdown · 30/12/2024 13:21

I don't know if this is an age thing, but I'm late 30s and have never felt any pressure to shave down there.

Tried it once in my early 20s and found it so itchy and uncomfortable that I never did it again. I've never had a sexual partner who has commented on it, or stated a preference! Frankly, if they did, then they'd be told to piss off and have sex with someone else.

If you are feeling pressured then I think you need to look at the quality of the men you are dating.

arcticpandas · 30/12/2024 13:20

WasThatACorner · 30/12/2024 13:17

I always though paedophiles were adults who are sexually attracted to children. Now I find out hair removal is all it takes.

Anything else we should all be avoiding so you don't get the wrong idea and throw disgusting accusations around?

If you want to shave then go ahead. I was talking about men expecting their partners to be all clean shaved like prepubertal girls.

WasThatACorner · 30/12/2024 13:17

arcticpandas · 30/12/2024 13:10

OK, miss Classy; paedophiiiile with stiff upper lip 🍵 cheerz

I always though paedophiles were adults who are sexually attracted to children. Now I find out hair removal is all it takes.

Anything else we should all be avoiding so you don't get the wrong idea and throw disgusting accusations around?

Anoisagusaris · 30/12/2024 13:15

What baffles me is how anyone successfully shaves (as opposed to getting a professional wax) down there to get a completely bald finish! It’s too fiddly. And it must be so itchy growing back,

ThatBrickPlayer · 30/12/2024 13:12

activa

arcticpandas · 30/12/2024 13:10

BIossomtoes · 30/12/2024 11:26

It isn’t. It’s a word used by someone with zero class.

OK, miss Classy; paedophiiiile with stiff upper lip 🍵 cheerz

DivergentTris · 30/12/2024 12:11

YesExactlyYes · 29/12/2024 21:51

People can 'expect' what they like - you don't have to take any notice. Why perpetuate the 'expectation' by joining in? Same goes for armpits.

This

NoCarbsForMe · 30/12/2024 12:09

Just do what you prefer op.

JHound · 30/12/2024 11:45

StormingNorman · 30/12/2024 11:05

I find the attitudes of women far more oppressive than the views of men after reading this thread.

Agreed.

It’s funny that apparently the pressure is from men / porn but the only people I find who refuse to respect women’s choices are other women - specifically those who have an issue with a woman’s choice to remove her body hair.

lifebyfaith · 30/12/2024 11:38

I shave most of it- not for anyone's benefit, but because I'm prone to itching and rashes down there if I don't. For me, too much hair is definitely a health hazard.

KiraNerys1 · 30/12/2024 11:31

Surely this is more about your choice of partner than anything?

ShortyShorts · 30/12/2024 11:28

arcticpandas · 30/12/2024 11:21

The use of the term nonce is quite democratic but ofcourse wouldn't be said in public by anyone with a bush. I'm not English so your class system obsession is quite ridiculous to me.

I am English and I find it ridiculous too.

However, it does kind of prove that the PP who tried to turn it into a class divide, was very very wrong.

BIossomtoes · 30/12/2024 11:26

arcticpandas · 30/12/2024 11:21

The use of the term nonce is quite democratic but ofcourse wouldn't be said in public by anyone with a bush. I'm not English so your class system obsession is quite ridiculous to me.

It isn’t. It’s a word used by someone with zero class.

arcticpandas · 30/12/2024 11:21

ShortyShorts · 30/12/2024 11:17

As if proof were needed that this is definitely not a class divide.

The use of the term nonce is quite democratic but ofcourse wouldn't be said in public by anyone with a bush. I'm not English so your class system obsession is quite ridiculous to me.

LlynTegid · 30/12/2024 11:18

I see that it is 93% saying personal choice. Wish it was 100% though, but 93% was higher than I expected.

SushiWarrior · 30/12/2024 11:18

I swing back and forth between full bush or completely bald. Only because when I try and trim it I always get carried away and don’t know where/when to stop and so end up just getting rid of it all. 😂

dh doesn’t mind either way.

ItGhoul · 30/12/2024 11:17

I’ve never felt any pressure to shave. Sometimes I don’t do anything, sometimes I tidy it up. I never shave it completely. I’ve never had a partner express a preference either way.

I hate shaved pubes on men.

ShortyShorts · 30/12/2024 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

As if proof were needed that this is definitely not a class divide.

Hayley1256 · 30/12/2024 11:16

I go for a monthly wax down there but not for my DP's benefit - it's purely for my own comfort and preference. I've never even asked him what he prefers and I don't think he would pressure me to look a certain way. Is this pressure your feeling from partners or is it self pressure based on media images etc?

arcticpandas · 30/12/2024 11:14

Loki64 · 30/12/2024 11:09

Thats very much a you problem, and i probably wouldnt be advertising that i think people who prefer shaven must be peadophiles that are going to abuse children. Very much a you problem.

Judging by other posters similar opinions on the subject I wouldn't say this is a me problem.

SemperIdem · 30/12/2024 11:13

As a woman in my mid 30’s who has had a vaginal birth, I’m very confident that hairless though my vulva is, it doesn’t in any way look pre-pubescent.

Loki64 · 30/12/2024 11:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Thats very much a you problem, and i probably wouldnt be advertising that i think people who prefer shaven must be peadophiles that are going to abuse children. Very much a you problem.

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