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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why get married?

160 replies

Needmynailsdone · 29/12/2024 18:25

So have been with my partner 16 years. Childhood sweethearts, 2 kids under 2, early 30s. I see a lot of discourse online about why we should be married and why it’s stupid to have kids with someone you’re not married to, but aside from pension / life insurance stuff (which I’m the nominated beneficiary for), I don’t really understand the need. We both quite like the idea of it, it’s just generally not come up yet as we’ve been busy travelling, working on our careers and now the babies. What were your reasons for wanting to get married?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Needmynailsdone · 29/12/2024 18:32

WallaceinAnderland · 29/12/2024 18:28

It's a legal contract to protect you and the children.

Sure but protect us how? If the financial stuff is already taken care of? Genuinely not being controversial here, come from a family that don’t seem to value marriage - parents and extended family aren’t married for the most part.

OP posts:
Porkyporkchop · 29/12/2024 18:32

It’s a commitment to be together and I think it can be stability for the children. Just a personal opinion, but people tend to work at a marriage more than if they are just living together. You also have more rights in terms of children, money, housing etc if something goes wrong .

AlecMills · 29/12/2024 18:31

Inheritance tax

Barneysmomma · 29/12/2024 18:31

We got married last month, been together 13 years, no children. The government have targeted farmers for inheritance tax changes, we think families will be next and being married gas benefits by allowing estates to pass between spouses with a lower tax burden. That might change in the future so we wanted to be prepared. Also next of kin is simpler (didn't want estranged sibling being consulted).
Plus we love each other!

Lookingforwardto2025 · 29/12/2024 18:30

It’s a legal contract that protects both parties if things go wrong. It might not seem necessary when you both earn well but illness/accident can strike at any time. I started married life as the higher earner, 11 years later I don’t work due to burn out. It can happen to anyone.

Printedword · 29/12/2024 18:30

If you are committed then it is quite a good way to show it and have any rights that go along with it. No need fir a big family do

catandcoffee · 29/12/2024 18:29

So you're just a girlfriend then.

What rights would you have as a girlfriend, say he's hospitalised ?

WallaceinAnderland · 29/12/2024 18:28

It's a legal contract to protect you and the children.

nestingvillage · 29/12/2024 18:28

I just wanted a legal contract, it's the only reason I did it, no regrets.

Penguinmouse · 29/12/2024 18:27

I wanted to make that commitment legal and in front of friends and family - plus wanted the celebration of a wedding and wanting to create a new family identity together. Also just the practicality of protecting yourself - you’ve got kids, it is daft not to be married to be honest.

We bought our flat together first which genuinely felt like more of a commitment.