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Original poster

suggestions on how to say "please leave now".

212 replies

cosmobrown · 29/12/2024 17:25

It's a MIL one I'm afraid.
She has form for outstaying her welcome and not realising it.

Please suggest some gentle but not too subtle phrases please!
This thread is light hearted really. (ish!)

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 29/12/2024 18:07

Depends on whether she's been there for the day or if she was there "for Christmas"

grandpaunwell · 29/12/2024 18:07

WigglyVonWaggly · 29/12/2024 17:34

This won’t be helpful but I once worked with an eccentric Latin teacher who got rid of his MIL by saying, ‘Right - shall we face your chariot in the direction of home?’

Brilliant! My quip would be (in my mind) which way am I facing your broomstick 🤭

Differentstarts · 29/12/2024 18:07

You really should of had a conversation before she came as she probably thinks she's staying for new year

ButterCrackers · 29/12/2024 18:06

I’m driving into town tomorrow so I’ll drop you at the station for your train back home. I’ll wake you at set time and then can leave at set time.
if it’s for the day say that I’ll take you to the station at set time. I’ll set a phone reminder so we don’t get stuck in chatting like we always do.

Gliblet · 29/12/2024 18:05

MIL's first husband was a dreadful social climber, always inviting people round for dinner without talking to her about it or doing any of the hard work, and always expecting MIL to sit up late with him playing the gracious hostess when she had to be up for school run and work the next morning. One night she'd finally had enough. She stood up, smiled at everyone, said "I love your company, but I'm afraid I don't love your hours', and went to bed.

2catsandhappy · 29/12/2024 18:04

Slap thighs and THEN stand up. Along with "Whelp, time to get your bags ready" is the International signal.
Standing up and then slapping thighs might get her Hand Jive style dancing.

Maybe start a Conga line that ends at her car?

Differentstarts · 29/12/2024 18:04

Stepfordian · 29/12/2024 18:02

There was a woman in my NCT group who it seemed could only ever tolerate a meet up for about 45 minutes, I used to find it a bit weird when she was visiting other group members houses and she’d have to leave before we’d even finished the coffee and cake, but when we were at hers she would say ‘I’m going to have to ask you to leave now, I’ve got X,Y,Z to do’ it was blunt but you certainly got the hint!

What a woman, i think this is great at least everyone knows where they stand

Stepfordian · 29/12/2024 18:02

There was a woman in my NCT group who it seemed could only ever tolerate a meet up for about 45 minutes, I used to find it a bit weird when she was visiting other group members houses and she’d have to leave before we’d even finished the coffee and cake, but when we were at hers she would say ‘I’m going to have to ask you to leave now, I’ve got X,Y,Z to do’ it was blunt but you certainly got the hint!

Differentstarts · 29/12/2024 18:02

Gggglinda · 29/12/2024 17:59

It depends how long has she been staying? And how far does she live?
Has she just popped in this afternoon or been staying over Christmas?

This. As that's 2 completely different answers. If it's just for the day it's right (knee slap) I'm gonna have to go to bed I'm knackered and have to be up early. If she's actually staying their you need to make yourself very busy and unavailable preferably with things she can't do or won't want to do

TotemPolly · 29/12/2024 18:02

If there for the day " That's it then , do you need the bathroom before you go ? "

If staying over Christmas . " We've got plans from tomorrow , are you all packed and ready to go in the morning ? "

Yesiknowdear · 29/12/2024 18:02

Always plan for them to arrive at say 11, so you get plenty of time together before you leave for that pre arranged get together at 4pm.
Ah! You wish you had more time, but if you didn't slot her in, you'd be waiting until March or April! 😃

I am a serial overstayer and I say to friends, I need an out time or you'll literally never get rid of me. Apparently it could be social queues I never quite get but if I don't get the " so after you told me you don't understand when to leave, you're supposed to stay until 8pm" I don't feel comfortable, then end up leaving before when is acceptable too.

Hohofortherobbers · 29/12/2024 18:00

"Well, I think we'll call it a day there, lovely to see you, shall I get your coat?"

Gggglinda · 29/12/2024 17:59

It depends how long has she been staying? And how far does she live?
Has she just popped in this afternoon or been staying over Christmas?

Fairislesweater · 29/12/2024 17:58

when I needed FIL to leave I said ‘fuck off’ and he duly did (we have a fairly unfiltered relationship)

I realise this is not very helpful.

JMSA · 29/12/2024 17:57

Gosh, it's getting dark now. I know you hate travelling/driving in the dark. Do you need anything before you go?

Deadbeatex · 29/12/2024 17:57

I'll make you a sandwich for the journey home.....

GeminiGiggles · 29/12/2024 17:57

TheDandyLion · 29/12/2024 17:31

Stand up, slap your thighs and say "right then" .

That's the international signal for off you go isn't it?

I came here to say this 🤣

Barney16 · 29/12/2024 17:54

"Would you like a cup of tea before you go home? "
I thought that's what everyone did?

itsmylife7 · 29/12/2024 17:54

Start purposely gagging and run to the bathroom.come back and claim to have vomited.

Cosmosforbreakfast · 29/12/2024 17:54

If it's that she stays after dinner too long just tell her when inviting her 'we'll be going out at X time, do you want a lift home or will we book a taxi for you?'. If it's that she stays too long after Christmas give a leaving day when inviting 'You're welcome to come to us until X day' It's set in advance then so no accidentally outstaying.

Lostinmusic22 · 29/12/2024 17:52

I am going to have to call it a night, thank you so much for coming.

Works every time
DONT offer any further drinks - dh should be ready to bring her coat etc.

Secondwifenotsecondbest · 29/12/2024 17:52

JumpstartMondays · 29/12/2024 17:30

I'm having a bath now. Are you getting in or going home?

Love this! 👍👍

RaininSummer · 29/12/2024 17:49

I'm putting the washing on now so will nip up and get your bedding.

Forgottobuymincepies · 29/12/2024 17:48

Make sure it's dh who gives the message of choice. She won't hold a grudge /tell others she got booted out if he says it.

Winterskyfall · 29/12/2024 17:47

MaterCogitaVera · 29/12/2024 17:34

“It’s been so lovely to see you! We’re going to have to let you get on now, as we have (a meeting with friends | work to do | chores to do | shopping to do).”

“I’m going to have to send you away before I embarrass myself and fall asleep on you! It’s been such a fun, busy few days, and I need (a quick nap before I start on dinner | an early night).”

”Thanks so much for coming round! Would you like (a few of these homemade biscuits | a slice of that cake) to take home with you for later? I’ll get you a little bag.”

Wow, you have skills. All great options!

Please sprinkle me with your polite yet assertive fairy dust.