Our comfort chat turned into an ear slitting screaming session

This is unpleasant.

Nailed it

How about you create a childfree cafe, I’m sure you and others would love that👍

Maybe she will come back and tell us.
To be fair, I don't think she expected quiet privacy, just a place where she could have a catch-up without needing a hearing aide.

Lesson learned for the OP, hopefully she can tell her husband to turn the TV down in future so she can ensure quiet privacy for a friend who is emotionally vulnerable. I’m sure she feels silly for suggesting meeting up in a busy cafe at Christmas time. We live and learn!

It’s not about city folk or being entitled (either way) it’s about patents ensuring their kids don’t disrupt others in a public place.

Yes, by all accounts that was the problem in this case.😖

Adults need to be able to engage with their children without making life loud and miserable for all those around them - it's just more "me me me" selfish behaviour that seems to becoming much more common these days and making so many things that I used to enjoy no longer any fun

Yes, whereas the family in question in the OP were actively engaging with their child.

It's not rocket science to take kids out and ensure they, and people sitting within earshot, don't end up with either a sore throat (screaming) or a sore head (extreme noise pollution)

We used to take a book and crayons, sometimes the establishment provided them, or simply talk to the kids to entertain them.

How many times when sat in public places, do adults sit glued to their phones ignoring their kids...no wonder some kick off.

A lot of people lack nuance in these discussions, I think.

Yes, it's absolutely a public space and when in public spaces, we all have to allow for noise, etc. No one is more entitled to use that space than another.

However, there's a huge difference between normal, every day noise and the kind of noise that means no one else can hear themselves think. The parents and their children don't get to dominate that space with their noise and ruin everyone else's time there.

There's a difference between "this child is upset/overexcited and screaming and the parents are trying to calm them down" and a parent/s/guardians actively encouraging their child to be as noisy as possible.

There is a way to play calmly with children that doesn't ruin everyone else's experience of that public space, but a lot of people on this thread don't seem to understand that you can have children and be considerate of other people.

The answer to this isn't "if you don't like screaming, screeching children and places where you can't hear yourself think let alone hold a conversation, you just shouldn't go to public spaces." The answer to this is, "when in a public space, don't encourage children to scream and screech and be overly disruptive where you can help it and be considerate of other people around you."

Ideally just don’t take them in there in the first place 👍🏼

Haha. As if.

It’s too late for that!

Don't be a dick.

Most people look for a change of scene, some fresh air or just an escape from others at home for an hour or so after Christmas and that's perfectly fine. What isn't fine is unreasonable behaviour in public, lack of consideration for others using the same establishment and the mindset that what you want to do takes precedence over the wishes of others. All too prevalent these days and the entitlement is palpable in my experience. People need to have more thought for each other and how their actions impact others, especially at Christmas.

Ideally just don’t take them in there in the first place 👍🏼

"Just why?!" Because too many people are thoughtless bastards and there are no consequences for being a thoughtless bastard, so why bother with the enormous and excruciating mental effort of having consideration for other people? This is why you get road rage, supermarket rage, pavement rage, any other type of rage you can think of, because someone has been pushed just far enough by someone else taking the piss that the volcano of frustration erupts. Being thoughtful on a population scale leads to a better quality of life for everyone even if individuals have to think a bit more.

I can relate to this. I accept that young children can be noisy and to an extent we have to deal with that. However, I remember once on a train when a mother and young child sat just opposite me and the child started shrieking in an excitable manner. An old man sitting near me then found it necessary to stimulate the child even more. When I started getting a bad headache from the screeching I moved into the next carriage and even the equivalent of one carriage length away behind two closed doors, I could still clearly hear this child. Fortunately incidents like this are extremely rare and the vast majority of parents are capable of keeping their children occupied without having them in training to be positioned on top of a lighthouse.

I worked lunchtimes in a country pub, most kids were welcome, a minority of the parents less so.
They let young kids run around, scream, generally act like little savages, whilst they enjoyed their drinks and meal, oblivious of the way their brats were acting.

One doesn't have to be child hater to NOT want to have to put up with that whilst sitting in a pub, cafe, or restaurant.

I'm with you! And I have 2 toddlers!

I can handle a noisy kid in a restaurant, but not a noisy parent!

Have recently experienced the same thing in several different places before and during Christmas. One was in a cafe with my teen sons, my sister and mum. We got together for a pre Xmas coffee and chat.

There were lots of children and families around us - fine. But one particular family had children talking in really loud voices, and everyone was having to talk over them. Instead of quieting them, the parents indulged them and talked even louder, so they were basically shouting and screaming at one another, albeit good natured. We could not hear ourselves across the table because “MILLIE WANTS A WEE WEE DADDY”… excruciating. Both my sister and I work with children so we’re not anti kids, just not at that level and to the exclusion of all else! We sat in silence until they’d left.

Similar situation on buses and in shops and restaurants over Christmas. Children yelling really loud, and parents indulging them and screaming louder over them. Just why?!

Bah humbug!

Christ. Is there nothing the posters on this site can't turn into a bit of casual and misinformed anti-Americanism? If you can read, you might note that the use of phrases such as '2 up 2 down' and 'a brew' place the OP firmly on your side of the pond.

Plus, Americans are generally less sour. Many actually like children.

@NovemberMorn I'm saying OP is likely exaggerating, and using hyperbolic language to describe a fairly innocuous interaction that many of us wouldn't even give two seconds of thought to because it's such a normal occurrence in public spaces where children are. If OP didn't want to be around children or noise, then I stand by my original comment - her choice of a cafe that by her own admission was "heaving" on arrival was possibly not the best decision to make. But yes, either way we clearly disagree, so as you rightly say, little point continuing a discussion.

Edit: I’m talking rubbish

I think the way you phrased it sounds a bit off.

I agree it is oddly written, like an attempt at something.

The family sound annoying, and I think sometimes when relatives are uncomfortable together they focus onto children (or dogs) in a way that is awkwardly playful and painful to listen to.

But basically YABU to go out to a busy cafe a couple of days after Christmas and expect it not to be full of braying adults and overexcited children. Probably safer to invite your friend to yours and close the door or doors between the kitchen and the TV.