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AIBU?

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Our comfort chat turned into an ear slitting screaming session

436 replies

Bridget05 · 29/12/2024 14:29

Scream GIF by Originals

Ok admittedly I'm possibly much older than you lot out there, so I might need to call a taxi but here goes.
It's just after Christmas and I live in a tiny village with one coffee shop. We attract loads of families walking on weekends which is fine. But of course the shop is heaving. Again it's OK.
My friend had an awful Christmas day with an adult autistic son, a missing pet cat = son meltdown and she just needed a shoulder. Could not go to either home as hers contains adult son, mine contains old husband watching Wheeler Dealers on full volume.
So we luckily find our usual table and get a coffee ....okaaayyy I had cake as well.
A group of grandparents, parents and a toddler arrive and sit next to us..still OK.

Now I fully understand toddlers are noisy, I get it. But to keep the already overexcited child entertained they then began an interminable game of peek a boo, who's got your nose, piggy toes etc, which then turns a chatty chirping child into a screaming harpy , creating such a noise that no one can speak. My poor friend was almost in tears from the stress.
Eventually I nicely said (yes I can do nice) that while everyone understands children's noise, could they please not add to it by encouraging her.
Seems walkers from the big city find it difficult to take polite requests. Enough said.
So AIBU to just expect a parent not to encouraging loud noise in an already packed out Cafe or us it open season on quiet breaks now.

OP posts:
Hobnobswantshernameback · 29/12/2024 15:40

Okaaaay OP got any cheeky updates for us
lol

Hankunamatata · 29/12/2024 15:39

3 kids and can't cope with squealing or being shrill.
So yanbu

Cherrypickled · 29/12/2024 15:39

Hobnobswantshernameback · 29/12/2024 15:33

Is this creative writing wannabe style of posting a thing now on here?

It's very annoying. Makes me cringe.

BenditlikeBridget · 29/12/2024 15:37

Screaming toddlers are not anyone’s idea of fun, I grant you. But I think it was probably a poor choice of venue by you on this occasion as you know that this particular coffee shop gets really busy at weekends and your friend needed quiet and comfort.

Next time kick the husband out of the lounge for an hour.

JLou08 · 29/12/2024 15:37

If your own families can't be quiet so you can have a comfortable chat at home how can you expect strangers to be quiet in a public place

OhMaria2 · 29/12/2024 15:36

Anonym00se · 29/12/2024 15:25

People have forgotten how to behave in public. I was raised to be quiet in public, to talk in quiet tones and to try not to draw attention to yourself. A lots of (dare I say) young parents don’t seem to have had the same expectations and feel it’s acceptable to inflict their raucous behaviour on innocent bystanders. It’s a cafe, not the bloody Wacky Warehouse. YANBU.

Oh no, a child that was being played with nicely then started to cry. Arghhhh! They couldn't stop the Infant behaving like an infant, the horror! Only good parents have children that don't create!

fuckingidiotseverywhere · 29/12/2024 15:36

Just to add, if it was people blaring things out of their phones at a high volume I'd completely agree with OP. But I do not agree that it's acceptable to tell a parent, even if it was done "nicely", to not "encourage" their child to engage with them. I think that's incredibly rude.

FreedFromDesireMindAndSensesPurified · 29/12/2024 15:36

Hobnobswantshernameback · 29/12/2024 15:33

Is this creative writing wannabe style of posting a thing now on here?

Hehe. How much do we bet that OP won't be back?

MereDintofPandiculation · 29/12/2024 15:36

solopanda · 29/12/2024 15:03

It's not their fault she had a noisy Christmas day and they're just as entitled as you to go to the cafe. Sounds like you're sneering at "outsiders". I also hate that gif it's really triggering.

Edited

No-one's entitled to be in a cafe if their presence spoils the experience for other people.

Plastictrees · 29/12/2024 15:35

Beezknees · 29/12/2024 15:31

You can't control who is out in public and what you're going to deal with. You can do that in your own home, all OP had to do was ask her husband to turn the TV down. Would have been less stressful for her friend I'm sure!

I agree with this.

CactusPat · 29/12/2024 15:35

Heaven forbid someone played peekaboo with a baby.

How did you ascertain that they were Not Local by the way? ID check? Asked them their postcode?

fuckingidiotseverywhere · 29/12/2024 15:34

@GCAcademic
Sorry but parents interacting and playing with their toddler, engaging them in games, is not antisocial in my view. It's just a very normal parent-toddler interaction. If it caused me a high level of stress, I wouldn't choose to sit down and order coffee and cake in a place that was evidently "heaving" with families on my arrival.

OhMaria2 · 29/12/2024 15:34

Why don't you get your husband to turn down the telly and stay at home? Half term isn't the time for quiet coffee shops

Hobnobswantshernameback · 29/12/2024 15:33

Is this creative writing wannabe style of posting a thing now on here?

FreedFromDesireMindAndSensesPurified · 29/12/2024 15:33

Seems walkers from the big city find it difficult to take polite requests.

I do hope this means they told you where to get off OP.

GCAcademic · 29/12/2024 15:32

fuckingidiotseverywhere · 29/12/2024 15:25

OP it reads as though you genuinely believed you had more right to the care space than the "walkers from the big city". You don't, it's a shared public space and they had an equal right to occupy it with their young child. I'd have personally chosen somewhere quieter than a cafe which, by your own admission, was "heaving" on arrival if I knew my friend was in a delicate state. Like my own home, for example, in which I'd have asked my partner to either go out for an hour or two so I could chat to my friend, or at least to turn the TV down for goodness sake!

Yes, it’s a shared space. Shared. Which means you be considerate that other people might want to socialise in it. Which means allowing them to have a conversation or hear themselves think.

FreedFromDesireMindAndSensesPurified · 29/12/2024 15:31

solopanda · 29/12/2024 15:21

Me too why didn't you tell him to shut up? Why do you reserve that for complete strangers?

This.

Beezknees · 29/12/2024 15:31

BettyBardMacDonald · 29/12/2024 15:27

They can play with the baby at home.

You can't control who is out in public and what you're going to deal with. You can do that in your own home, all OP had to do was ask her husband to turn the TV down. Would have been less stressful for her friend I'm sure!

SouthLondonMum22 · 29/12/2024 15:29

BettyBardMacDonald · 29/12/2024 15:27

They can play with the baby at home.

She can also talk to her friend at home.

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 29/12/2024 15:29

I was at a zoo today and two 4 ish yr olds screaming and banging on glass at tigers.

Mum said nought!!!!

Cherrypickled · 29/12/2024 15:29

BettyBardMacDonald · 29/12/2024 15:27

They can play with the baby at home.

The OP could have had her cosy chat at home. Oh wait, it was too noisy there too.

BettyBardMacDonald · 29/12/2024 15:27

RedHelenB · 29/12/2024 15:18

I think you were rude OP. It's a public space, they were playing with their baby.

They can play with the baby at home.

Cosycore · 29/12/2024 15:27

Yabu

If it was too noisy for you, take your coffee and cake to go and go somewhere else.

If there are people and young children in spaces, then it WILL be noisy. I think it’s UR to expect people to be quiet because you and your pal wanted a quiet chat. I get it’s been a stressful time but other people are out in spaces enjoying themselves.

HideousKinky · 29/12/2024 15:26

Beezknees · 29/12/2024 15:14

I'm struggling to understand why you couldn't ask your husband to be quiet for half an hour but expect strangers to be quiet for you in a public cafe to be honest.

This is a good point

fuckingidiotseverywhere · 29/12/2024 15:26

*cafe space