Our comfort chat turned into an ear slitting screaming session

I like your style of writing OP. I find no reason to criticise you for any reason whatsoever.
Best to your friend as well.

All it takes is a bit of consideration for everyone to have a nice experience.

The OP seemed to be reasonable, the family with kids behaving like little banshees...not so much.

YABU not to invite friend to yours just because DH wants to watch bloody Wheeler Dealers!

Indeed.

Yanbu. There are loads of soft plays with cafes attached which are a far better place to take a bored toddler than a busy cafe. I hate shit like that it's so entitled.

YANBU

Those parents were incredibly inconsiderate. If they choose to be in a public place, then they need to have some level of consideration for people around them and not actively encourage a toddler to scream loudly. If they want to do that, stay at home.

Well done for saying something, I think more and more people need to challenge behaviour like this.

That’s a rude and unkind comment

Okay so you were there hoping to have a quiet space for your friend as she needed it. You have no idea of the couples circumstances or why they were there as they did not know yours. I am failing to understand how you can expect customers in a cafe to be quiet for you, yet you could not ask your own husband for an hour or two of peace in your own home.

A cafe is just that, a meeting place for all and everyone will have a reason for being there. Only the cafe owner has the right to ask a customer to be quiet should they deem the noise to be unacceptable and not comfortable for other diners.

100% this. Also the child was interacting with their fsmily. Better that than sitting on a tablet.

Perhaps you could have got the coffee to go and went a walk and chatted if nowhere in your house was appropriate? Like the kitchen?

Would love to have been a fly om the wall to see the true events

Same!

The OP's friend was already in a place of oversensitivity having had a bad Christnas due her child's behaviour. The OP has clearly described a situation where they don't like these pesky city folks. I therefore suggest the other family may well have been interacting in a normal way and at a normal noise level but the cafe was not an appropriate venue for the oversensitive friend to find comfort especially when the friend accompanying her already had issues with the other people being there. Would love to have been a fly on the wall to see the true events.

Why can’t OP and her friend who can’t deal with being around people making noise (or so it seems) sit outside or go for a calming walk?

I found the posters style quite amusing.😆

As for her being unreasonable, I don't think so.
Some people need to control their kids when in cafe's and restaurants, we don't all want to go home with a bloody migraine.😣

You absolutely do have to choose a venue carefully if you want a quiet "comfort chat" with an upset friend, I completely agree

You'd also be moaning if they were on an iPad

Maybe sending her husband out of the room isn't an option ( my house only has one room downstairs so husband would have to stay in bedroom or go out)

Being in public requires different behaviour to being in your own home. Screaming kids are annoying.

Hmm. I had babies and toddlers for many years.
They’re noisy especially at Christmas.
Now I frequent a builders greasy spoon type establishment for the peace, as not v popular with families. You have to choose your venue if you want a quiet chat I think.

I think it was perfect!

It was spot on.

OP could invite the friend over for coffee at her house and ask her adult dh to turn the TV down .
a noisy cafe is not the place for a heart to heart.

Yes, sit outside or in the car. If people want to wind up kids to make them screech and squeal, do it in their own quarters, not within a couple of feet of other people.

I don’t think that came across as well as you’d hoped.

People should behave socially when out in public. What the OP's husband does in his own home is more his own business. It's not unreasonable to expect people not to spoil an "out in public" experience for other people. Having loud children does limit your options somewhat.

Children nowadays have screeches like the train whistle from “ Night of the Demon”

Crotch Goblins!!

It’s only ever loud people that need allowances made it seems. Loud people can do whatever they want apparently.
I’m autistic and cannot cope with people screaming or very loud unnecessary constant noise. (I’m fine with for example a concert or loud film. I am not fine with thumping music from a neighbour or someone crinkling a water bottle repeatedly or watching videos on loud on the bus etc)

Whenever you get threads about people being loud the responses are always along the lines of: Well they’re allowed out as well! Maybe they have special needs! They might have had a bad day so give them a break! If you don’t like it move or stay home! And so on.

Even a thread on here once about school someone was talking about children using clicking fidget toys and I said if I was at school sitting next to someone clicking and flicking about a toy all day I wouldn’t have coped. I was told I was excluding those with special needs who need fidget toys and if I couldn’t cope I would have needed to be removed from the class. (Which to be fair I would have loved as I much prefer solitary working). But it’s just funny how a diagnosed loud autistic or ADHD person can’t be excluded but a quiet noise sensitive diagnosed autistic person can.

So you pretty much see this in life all the time these days. If someone is making an unreasonable amount of noise you need to be tolerant and remember that maybe they’re having a bad day or maybe they have SEN. If for whatever you’re having a bad day or have SEN and just need a bit of quiet tough shit. You shouldn’t be outside around other people.

In the last 10 years the amount I need to either wear headphones or actually leave a place has increased 10x at least. Years ago people used to at least TRY and not create as much noise as possible. Now it’s accepted that you don’t even bother. Even in the cinema etc.