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Original poster

To go part time when finances aren’t great?

233 replies

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:22

There’s a long and complex back story here and so if I miss some information out it isn’t intentional.

I currently work three days a week, I want to reduce this to two, but still spread over three days - starting later and finishing earlier. This is mostly to allow me to do school drop offs and pick ups when my child starts school in September. It all falls on me, and although there is wraparound available it only starts at 8, my work starts at 820 and it’s a bit too tight. (There aren’t any childminders attached to the school.) So one way or another I have to be PT.

The problem is financially things aren’t great, it’s definitely the biggest source of tension in the house at the moment.

I have to admit I’m a bit torn with what to do. I’m not in a great place at the moment as I’m pressured at both work and home, but also don’t want to make any rash decisions if my marriage is shaky it seems foolish to reduce a source of income.

OP posts:
Everlygreen · 29/12/2024 15:10

How long would your 2yo be at nursery for ?

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:09

NoSquirrels · 29/12/2024 15:07

What does your DH think should happen?

Does he believe the other primary school options are a more acceptable choice than reducing family income?

No - he’s definitely of the opinion the school we’ve put down is the best choice.

OP posts:
Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:09

It’s definitely preying on my mind @Gazelda . I just need to kind of talk it through I guess. But no, there’s no point talking to DH about it. Even in an otherwise perfect marriage the drop offs and pick ups are on me. But to be honest if it’s annoying you (and totally fair enough if it is!) just maybe don’t comment?

@Iceache it’s easy enough, I’m just not timetabled to work period one or period five.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 29/12/2024 15:07

What does your DH think should happen?

Does he believe the other primary school options are a more acceptable choice than reducing family income?

ilovesooty · 29/12/2024 15:06

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:53

No, this is from September sorry.

Show quote history

Oh I see, thanks.

Iceache · 29/12/2024 15:03

I don’t really understand how you can be a teacher yet spread your hours in that way? Can you find a childminder or wraparound care that will enable you to leave earlier? Breakfast club beginning at 8am would have been a deal breaker for us really and we’d have had to adjust our school choices. The way I see it is you really have the luxury of being picky if money is too tight. You’d probably be better earning more and then perhaps moving your children into a better school at some point.

NoSquirrels · 29/12/2024 15:02

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:53

It basically means I’ll have less money. At the moment the way we do things is DH pays the mortgage and bills and I pay for childcare fees and for food, most children’s things eg clothes, swimming lessons and so on. It isn’t set in stone or anything like that but that’s roughly how it’s done.

So if I drop to two days spread over three I still have to pay for three days in nursery. However, DD should get thirty funded hours from September so my childcare bill will reduce and I won’t have to pay for DS, so that’s a help.

This is a bad set-up. It should be a family decision on the money front and on the childcare logistics and working patterns front. All of the downsides of everything on you is a bad place to be.

OTOH it makes the decision-making clear cut for you - your DH doesn’t really have a say if financially you’re the one bearing the brunt of the change.

Gazelda · 29/12/2024 15:01

@iwanttoworktwodays have you had a serious conversation with your DH about this? Weighed up the pros and cons between you? Tried to think of a workable solution?

I ask because this is the third (at least) thread you've had about reducing your hours in one way or another. It's obviously playing on your mind a lot but you don't seem to be able to see your options clearly and logically.

In every thread you've had one the past few weeks it's been clear that you really want to reduce your hours and are hoping MN can come up with a good case that you can put to your DH.

You're going round in circles. I hope you can find a solution between you that either meets your wants or that you are able to accept as the best option.

solopanda · 29/12/2024 15:00

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:53

It basically means I’ll have less money. At the moment the way we do things is DH pays the mortgage and bills and I pay for childcare fees and for food, most children’s things eg clothes, swimming lessons and so on. It isn’t set in stone or anything like that but that’s roughly how it’s done.

So if I drop to two days spread over three I still have to pay for three days in nursery. However, DD should get thirty funded hours from September so my childcare bill will reduce and I won’t have to pay for DS, so that’s a help.

That is an utterly shit way of doing it

solopanda · 29/12/2024 14:59

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:38

I suppose I’m thinking of it being like a period of maternity leave where your income is reduced but you know it’s temporary … a two year maternity leave admittedly!

Yeah but it's reduced from a pretty low start point

SmoothOperatorCarlosSainz · 29/12/2024 14:56

I would reduce the hours on my days so I could do pick up and drop off but I would pick up hours on other days. I wouldn't be making tensions in the home more visible. I'd also be speaking to OH to pitch in more

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:53

ilovesooty · 29/12/2024 14:52

Will your school even be able to adjust your timetable mid year?

No, this is from September sorry.

OP posts:
Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:53

It basically means I’ll have less money. At the moment the way we do things is DH pays the mortgage and bills and I pay for childcare fees and for food, most children’s things eg clothes, swimming lessons and so on. It isn’t set in stone or anything like that but that’s roughly how it’s done.

So if I drop to two days spread over three I still have to pay for three days in nursery. However, DD should get thirty funded hours from September so my childcare bill will reduce and I won’t have to pay for DS, so that’s a help.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 29/12/2024 14:52

Will your school even be able to adjust your timetable mid year?

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 29/12/2024 14:50

How tight is tight?

Will it put you at risk of losing your home, not affording food and bills or just that you will have to cut back on takeaways/holidays?

Are finances for the family spread in proportion to your earnings?

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:50

@HamSandwichKiller it is a tricky one. The only other feasible choices are a primary school that really isn’t very nice - lots of complaints about bullying and so on - or one where it’s just too small, only four children in the current reception cohort. I love the school I’ve put him down for. But the start time of their breakfast club and my work time start is hard and so I will need to have some flexibility there. When both my children are there I can probably do four days spread over five to allow that, they’ll both be older and in the same place but the two years when one is at school and one isn’t are hard.

I would actually be better off if we split @RoamingGnome . But obviously it isn’t what I want to happen. And I don’t think it will.

OP posts:
JHound · 29/12/2024 14:48

You really need to sit your partner down and have this chat with him.

Your current work arrangement is untenable with childcare and domestic duties. So you collectively need to arrive at a solution. Either he becomes more involved in the unpaid labour or you both accept a temporary drop household income.

solopanda · 29/12/2024 14:48

Can you do 3 days spread over 4?

In all honesty I'd be upping your hours. 2 days is hardly anything

RoamingGnome · 29/12/2024 14:46

You are being unreasonable and putting yourself is a very precarious financial position. I'd be pretty annoyed if I was your spouse. How would you manage if your marriage broke up? Assuming he had the kids 50/50 you'd have a few days without drop offs but get no financial support.

HamSandwichKiller · 29/12/2024 14:45

You have a useless partner. Don't reduce your income for 2 years because of them.
As a teacher you earn pretty well. Are there other wraparound nurseries available? Honestly I'd reconsider your entire primary school choice of the current options are so slim for childcare. You can't drop your hours but what else can you do?

KilkennyCats · 29/12/2024 14:45

ChaChaChaChanges · 29/12/2024 14:28

Would you consider doing the same hours as now but spread over 4 days, rather than 3?

Good idea.

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:42

No - this is another source of tension!

I don’t think we’ll split but I am conscious on paper if you like further reducing my hours is probably an unwise move but I also think there’s more to it than that, it’s more a breather for a year at least so I can get on top of things a bit. (I’m convincing myself a bit here even though the poll says otherwise! 😂)

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 29/12/2024 14:40

Can your partner pick up the slack- either at home or with the finances

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:38

I suppose I’m thinking of it being like a period of maternity leave where your income is reduced but you know it’s temporary … a two year maternity leave admittedly!

OP posts:
Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:37

ChaChaChaChanges · 29/12/2024 14:28

Would you consider doing the same hours as now but spread over 4 days, rather than 3?

I would consider this and will almost definitely do this in two years, when both my children are at school. I’m reluctant to do it now because I have a 2 year old and I would rather not have her in nursery for four days a week and also very selfishly I’m reluctant to do four days a week myself with two children in different places and one very very young. But I may have to. I’m really just weighing up ‘lease worse’ option!

@IsItSummerSoon no, he doesn’t - to be honest it has minimal impact on him strange as that may sound, it’s me who it affects which is why all the angst!

@Ponderingwindow in an ideal world definitely. But that won’t happen. So it does have to be me, and I have to think of which option is best.

OP posts: