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Original poster

To go part time when finances aren’t great?

233 replies

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:22

There’s a long and complex back story here and so if I miss some information out it isn’t intentional.

I currently work three days a week, I want to reduce this to two, but still spread over three days - starting later and finishing earlier. This is mostly to allow me to do school drop offs and pick ups when my child starts school in September. It all falls on me, and although there is wraparound available it only starts at 8, my work starts at 820 and it’s a bit too tight. (There aren’t any childminders attached to the school.) So one way or another I have to be PT.

The problem is financially things aren’t great, it’s definitely the biggest source of tension in the house at the moment.

I have to admit I’m a bit torn with what to do. I’m not in a great place at the moment as I’m pressured at both work and home, but also don’t want to make any rash decisions if my marriage is shaky it seems foolish to reduce a source of income.

OP posts:
Calmhappyandhealthy · 29/12/2024 15:55

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:34

Yes that’s right @NoSquirrels and thanks for putting it clearly like that! I think the issue is I’ll have more money (due to a reduction of childcare fees) but also less money, if I reduce my hours.

Pool ALL the family money.....DH and yours and make sure you both have enough

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:52

Poppins21 · 29/12/2024 15:50

A breather for a year when finances are tight is illogical- especially as your partner doesn’t support it.

Show quote history

He doesn’t really support it or otherwise @Poppins21 . It doesn’t really affect him either way; I’m the only one is affects.

OP posts:
Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:51

@Iceache i know a few teachers (not independent) who do this. I suppose it must depend on how flexible or otherwise the school is and I suppose it’s different in primary.

OP posts:
Poppins21 · 29/12/2024 15:50

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:42

No - this is another source of tension!

I don’t think we’ll split but I am conscious on paper if you like further reducing my hours is probably an unwise move but I also think there’s more to it than that, it’s more a breather for a year at least so I can get on top of things a bit. (I’m convincing myself a bit here even though the poll says otherwise! 😂)

A breather for a year when finances are tight is illogical- especially as your partner doesn’t support it.

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:49

After school isn’t too bad and I can work that, it’s before. After school is until 415. I finish at 3, so I can leave at half past and easily get to the school by 4.

OP posts:
Eldermillennial2024 · 29/12/2024 15:48

Ultimately OP it's up to you and your partner if you can afford this

NoSquirrels · 29/12/2024 15:46

Just to check - you mentioned no breakfast club that works, but what about after school? No club for that either? So if the timetable allowed you to start later (no first period lessons) but you could pick-up later from school & nursery would that work?

Iceache · 29/12/2024 15:44

So would you go from 0.6 to 0.4? The reason I’m confused is because generally teaching is fairly inflexible beyond the fifths split like above; you generally can’t spread your hours over less days or whatever because we aren’t paid hourly if that makes sense? Unless you’re in an independent school I guess! I don’t know what the answer is really but surely lots of working parents have this problem and resort to using more childcare? I think not liking your children in full time childcare or whatever it would be really is a luxury you don’t have the option of since you can neither afford to drop days nor have a husband who’s willing to split the load more equally

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:44

I know but it won’t, and I have to work with the reality of what I have, if you see what I mean.

OP posts:
Eldermillennial2024 · 29/12/2024 15:44

Well if finances are already stretched it seems like a bad idea. What does your partner think? If the length of days is the problem why not do four or five shorter days. You could do 9-2 five days or fit your current hours into five days.

NoSquirrels · 29/12/2024 15:41

DH works full time and earns a certain amount and this would be true however much or little I do if that makes sense. The only one it impacts really is me.

It shouldn’t be this way. You are a family. It should impact the family finances, not just your finances.

Sorry to bang on, I know you say it’s not going to change but … it should, you know? The set up now is unfair on you in all aspects - emotional, financial, practical. Flowers

Anyway, if he won’t/can’t change at all, do what makes you feel best and refuse any discussion with him about any downside, I guess?

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:40

I’m not sure because I’m not sure what my take home pay would be on two days a week. I think about £1500. DD is currently about £450 for three days a week, with fifteen funded hours. So not sure what that is with thirty.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 29/12/2024 15:36

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:34

Yes that’s right @NoSquirrels and thanks for putting it clearly like that! I think the issue is I’ll have more money (due to a reduction of childcare fees) but also less money, if I reduce my hours.

Does it net out to the same as now?

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:36

It isn’t that simple @Brefugee . I mean yes I could work FT and I did at first, but it’s not really great for the children (I’m honestly not trying to give anybody a hard time there but my personal preference would not for them to be in childcare five days a week.) And it isn’t like a seesaw where I do more work so DH does more at home, it just meant I was literally doing everything!

This isn’t totally DHs fault, he works away and long hours. This predated children before anyone has a go at me. But there isn’t really a way round this.

So as it is DH works full time and earns a certain amount and this would be true however much or little I do if that makes sense. The only one it impacts really is me.

OP posts:
FreedFromDesireMindAndSensesPurified · 29/12/2024 15:35

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:31

But realistically, it is and it will. I think this is where the posts making out I am just a bit leechy are not really fair.

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Yes, anyone who thinks you're being leechy here is a twat.

If there really is no other option, what will happen if you make this point to your DH and explain that he'll need to take his part in belt tightening, if he isn't going to do 50% of the school runs?

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:34

Yes that’s right @NoSquirrels and thanks for putting it clearly like that! I think the issue is I’ll have more money (due to a reduction of childcare fees) but also less money, if I reduce my hours.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 29/12/2024 15:34

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:30

What burden do you think they are shouldering @Brefugee ?

Because to be honest if he did want to go part time, that would be fine. Not a problem, it wouldn’t be easy logistically but that’s for his work to organise.

if you earn less the partner has to earn more. I would have thought a teacher could work that out?
When i was the main earner, my DH changed jobs because he didn't like his boss. He was out of work for a week waiting to start the new one. I was already overworked and under massive stress. I would have LOVED to reduce my hours, but a decision made without my input meant i couldn't. I did say that if he did that again i would just quit my job and check myself into a clinic and someone else could take the strain of paying the mortgage.

So: in other words, you have a household and children and financial decisions need to be made by all. If you change your hours with no cost, no issue is there?

NoSquirrels · 29/12/2024 15:32

Seems like the choices are:

DS goes to top-pick school, DD stays same hours at nursery, you earn less doing 2 days hours over 3 days.

DS goes to top-pick school, DD does more hours at nursery and you earn the same doing 3 days over 4.

DS goes to worse school, everything else stays the same for DD and you.

If your DH can’t/wont be part of the solution logistically, and wants the same thing for the DC you do (fewer hours at nursery for DD and best school for DS), then you’re only left with the less family income scenario, aren’t you?

So he’ll need to take on paying for some more of the food bill or children’s expenses, I guess.

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:31

FreedFromDesireMindAndSensesPurified · 29/12/2024 15:26

School run logistics shouldn't be only yours to manage. In particular, if you do end up having to drop hours because there's no other way, the financial burden shouldn't fall on you only.

But realistically, it is and it will. I think this is where the posts making out I am just a bit leechy are not really fair.

OP posts:
Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:30

What burden do you think they are shouldering @Brefugee ?

Because to be honest if he did want to go part time, that would be fine. Not a problem, it wouldn’t be easy logistically but that’s for his work to organise.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 29/12/2024 15:29

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 14:22

There’s a long and complex back story here and so if I miss some information out it isn’t intentional.

I currently work three days a week, I want to reduce this to two, but still spread over three days - starting later and finishing earlier. This is mostly to allow me to do school drop offs and pick ups when my child starts school in September. It all falls on me, and although there is wraparound available it only starts at 8, my work starts at 820 and it’s a bit too tight. (There aren’t any childminders attached to the school.) So one way or another I have to be PT.

The problem is financially things aren’t great, it’s definitely the biggest source of tension in the house at the moment.

I have to admit I’m a bit torn with what to do. I’m not in a great place at the moment as I’m pressured at both work and home, but also don’t want to make any rash decisions if my marriage is shaky it seems foolish to reduce a source of income.

does your partner also have the option to reduce because they feel burnt out or are they going to have to shoulder more of the burden?

FreedFromDesireMindAndSensesPurified · 29/12/2024 15:26

School run logistics shouldn't be only yours to manage. In particular, if you do end up having to drop hours because there's no other way, the financial burden shouldn't fall on you only.

Original poster
iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:17

Everlygreen · 29/12/2024 15:10

I mean how many hours per day?

Well, probably be roughly 8-4. But I have to pay for a full day regardless of how many hours she does if you see what I mean.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 29/12/2024 15:13

iwanttoworktwodays · 29/12/2024 15:09

No - he’s definitely of the opinion the school we’ve put down is the best choice.

Show quote history

Then he has to agree to you being 2 days, if he cannot help with pick-up and drop-off logistics and there’s definitely no other external option.

So your discussions need to be about family finances and how they’re organised.

Everlygreen · 29/12/2024 15:10

I mean how many hours per day?