Was my Christmas Day "abstemious"?

I thought abstemious was a typo for ostentatious!! I thought you were going to list fireworks and flower walls and extravagant gifts !!!

I think it’s generally considered to be unnecessary and a bit annoying

I mean, it sounds Ok but it wouldn’t feel celebratory enough for me in terms of low-alcohol and then sitting around watching a film.

Half a bottle of wine each over the course of the day (especially Christmas Day!) is quite stingy in my family. We’d probably allocate at least a bottle per adult (realistically a bottle and a half) plus the usual glass of Buck’s Fizz.

We also like to crack out the karaoke or similar towards the end of the day. Out of interest, what games did you play? Board games or something a bit sillier? If the former, it probably felt quite sedate 😂

my parents hardly drank and we never had Boose in the house , my wife’s family are Irish and drink a ton more than my family and I found the difference quite shocking when I first met them
she thinks my family are like Mormons ! but would never ever be so rude to say anything

Yours sounds like a lovely day. But I can see that if she's used to being fairly merry on Christmas day, and she doesn't drink wine (but comes from the sort of family who just always have a bottle of vodka in) then it might have been different to what she was expecting.

The one person who was likely to foresee the gap between her expectations and yours was your brother - he should really have thought to give you a heads up about the drinks, or even better, bring some with him!

How rude of her to comment.

We like to have every possible alcohol option, but that’s not compulsory.

Well Op if yours was abstemious, not sure what the word for ours would be.

4 adults.

One bottle of wine-& it didn't get finished😂

As you can tell we're not drinkers & don't really have much of anything about.

Also wouldn't be buying bottles of stuff on the off chance.

Up to her/your brother to bring I think.

Especially if he knows that you don't have spirits in.

I'm now fancying a snowball!

What I'm most interested in is, why on earth did your brother report back his girlfriend's comment which has obviously caused some anxiety/offence? Unless maybe it wasn't a criticism at all, maybe her family gets completely plastered every time they meet, and she enjoyed being able to stand up and speak in full sentences after 11am... On the other hand, she said she didn't like the sort of drinks you provided and why let your host know that?
Families are strange things!

My guess is fhey have a few more drinks that a glass or two max over 12 hours. There is a mid ground.

I think this sounds like a brilliant day for everyone, it's perfect. I wouldn't give her silly comment another thought OP.

Wow, it’s like a competition now to see who can post the most extreme response. Now she wanted to get shit faced.

My guess is her families Christmas is just a big piss up, don't worry about it your day sounds lovely.

To me your Christmas Day sounds like tons and tons of booze, but then our total alcohol consumption was half a bottle of Prosecco among 6 adults (plus two kids). 😂

You're focusing on the wrong thing. She said it was a nice day.

Or maybe, leave loads of booze out for people to help themselves to, next time.

me and he only mentioned it in passing.
I think I'm just worrying a bit as she's the first girlfriend to last since his divorce 10 years ago so I want her to like us.

I would have asked him/her what she preferred to drink if I was hosting someone I wanted to like me! Your day sounds fine apart from that though.

It’s not like she was moaning. I’d have been really cross if I made a passing comment to my boyfriend and he told the host!

Sorry for using the internet differently to how you use it.

Sounds lovely. Not everyone needs to get shit faced to have a good time! She could have brought her own drinks etc! I think she probably didn’t expect your brother to relay the comment if that’s what happened!

@romanfriendsandcountrywomen she may not have even meant it as a criticism - simply less boozy than her family does it. Neither is wrong, just different! I wouldn’t give it another thought.

To be fair, you made 3.5 bottles of wine / champagne last 14 hours between 7 adults. That’s not a lot…

And lining up they are, any excuse it seems.

It sounds great. Presumably your brother knows you don’t go in for cocktails and spirits and that she does, so should have come prepared.

It’s not like you had a dry Christmas. It’s just that your way of doing things is obviously different from her family’s way of doing things. If she’s 30 something she should know better than to comment on that but if your brother passed on a private comment then he’s the one at fault.

If I were hosting a relative’s partner for Christmas Day I’d have asked the relative in advance what the partner likes to drink and made sure I had some in. That’s part of being a good host. Having said that, your brother could have opened his mouth too if he knows she drinks vodka and you don’t do spirits.

That sounds identical to my Christmas, even down to the same drinks, which I have lots of bottles not opened as a lot of people stuck to tea/coffee

As a PP said I wouldn’t equate alcohol amounts with fun.

Its quite an odd comment to receive

@Doggielove @Allihavetodoisdream
good job you both quoted the OP in full. Otherwise how would we have known who you were responding to when writing on the thread? 😉

@Doggielove we all read the op, it’s right there, directly above your one sentence post.