Was my Christmas Day "abstemious"?

OK.

None of my close friends or family drink vodka. I have no idea what aquaintances I know drink because I don't drink with them.

Is that OK?

So, if I was a vodka drinker I would bring a bottle with me.

It sounds lovely!! 🥰

I would say 'how rude of her' but it does depend whether it was just your DB that she said it to.

It sounds like a lovely, sophisticated and enjoyable Christmas.

We didn't have alcohol as have a recovered alcoholic in our household- it was still fun!

It's sounds lovely to me.
I'm not a big drinker so leave organising alcohol to my partner.
If I had specific likes/preferences re drinks I would have taken them for the day eg vodka & mixers. I would also have taken a contribution eg nice chocs, wine etc

What did DB & GF bring to the day?

I think the people who want to be actually drunk are either bored shitless or would be drunk at any event.

This sounds lovely, not abstemious.

I would describe that as a very pleasant level of indulgence. Why would you want to be drunk at someone’s family Christmas, nicely merry is definitely more enjoyable for all!

@romanfriendsandcountrywomen your Christmas sounds absolutely lovely.

One thing I have learnt is that every family has their own Christmas format and traditions. It’s only when you spend Christmas with a partners family do you realise that not everyone celebrates Christmas the way your family does.

No one way is right or wrong just different.

Do they have a proper Christmas dinner in their own house first? I don't know anyone who has finished their Christmas Dinner early enough to go round to someone else's house for 3pm. Unless there is a general agreement amongst you all to just have a starter and mains in your own houses then come round to yours for the pudding and cheese courses?

Your Christmas Day sounds great. That's way more booze than we have and a good variety too. Coffee and tea to start and end the day sounds lovely too.

Your Christmas sounds absolutely lovely, OP. I also had a lovely, albeit quiet, Christmas at my in-laws’. Central European Christmas is rather more reserved, centred around fish and very low alcohol. No games, and even the carols were a very tasteful choral arrangement. It was extremely nice and I would never say otherwise to my lovely family, but a small bit of me yearns for a dose of festive chaos, a glass of champagne and some turkey. One day…

They probably did not want to drink your awful dry white wine /if they like sweet white wine 😂😂

Your Christmas Day sounds lovely OP!!

yes it was a silly oversight, I’m watching a documentary while reading this.

This sounds like the sort of family Christmas that I’ve always dreamed of.

It bothers me that people don’t realise how lucky they are.

Far too much booze.

Fibe for alcoholics or heavy drinkers.

Not enough grub.

I barely drink though!

I generally try and avoid people who can only equate fun with alcohol.
Nothing wrong with drinking but if you can't enjoy yourself unless you get drunk then its a bit sad.

You offered a lot more food than I would but less alcohol!

I wouldn't judge her for expecting a bit more alcohol to be offered. It's just a question of what you are used to.

We had 8 adults for the meal. One was driving so she stuck to tea, mineral water and a couple of AF cocktails. One BF turned up later in the evening and drank 0% Guinness.
Between 3.30pm and 11.30 when they left, we drank about 20 tins/bottles of beer/cider/hard seltzer, 3 bottles of red wine, a bottle of Sancerre, a couple of bottles of champagne and assorted cocktails -the younger crowd drank Margaritas made by adult DC, also G&Ts. I didn't drink until I'd finished cooking but then enjoyed a few Negronis as well as some champagne.

Like PP we didn't turn the tv on. After dinner we played Traitors, chatted and sang. It was great. And like other PP we make sure that our guests know where the glasses, drinks (alcoholic and soft) and ice are kept so that after the first couple have been served to them they know where to get top ups. It makes for a very relaxed, communal atmosphere.

We are old so wouldn't normally have cider or hard seltzer or tequila in the house but bought them in for the under thirties. What they didn't drink went home with them.

It's a lot but it was spread over a good few hours. No one was messy drunk and adult DC were up early for the gym the next day.

Personally I would find it a bit dull, we don’t switch the tv on at Christmas and I can’t imagine all sitting around it on Christmas Day. Each to their own though and I’m sure a lot of people like that.

Sounds like the right word to convey what she was probably trying to say. You might call her attitude obnoxious, but I don't see why the word is a problem. I'm struggling to think of another which would be as fitting tbh.

Her Christmases sound like my parents ones and that's why we (DH,DC and I) prefer that to my in laws but even yours sound better than my in laws

I think it sounds like a lovely day

A good guest will always anticipate that there is a small possibility the hosts may have underestimated the amount needed, or be on a very tight budget, and brought some gifts such as at least one bottle of wine, their own favourite tipple in case it's not something the host would ordinarily keep in, and some nice crackers and/or cheese, fancy crisps, mince pies or chocolates.

There will only be any awkwardness if the guest has no manners and asks for more without being offered anything when it's obvious there is no more wine or dessert etc and then gets the awkward glances or gets told there is none. As a guest if the last bit of wine had been used from a bottle I would always offer to open the one I'd brought next if I or anyone else wanted more. They can always turn it down with a "oh, no, don't worry, we've already got another 2 there. Unlese you'd prefer a change?". Gives a guest the option to open their own if what they've been served isn't to their taste. My inlaws had very sweet cheap wine at Christmas dinner for many years, I used to hate it. We started taking our own dry stuff and they thought they were being good hosts by insisting on serving theirs. 😫

She’d have hated my Christmas then! Steak and chips, lots of quiet, films throughout the day, and the adults in bed by half 9…..

I would hate to think people were sitting waiting on me offering a drink of their choice. Everyone is welcome to help themselves to our drinks trolley and mixers as well as the wine fridge the coffee machine and the kettle. Most of our friends and family do the same and they mostly bring extra whatever alcohol they’re drinking. There’s a cocktail making station if that floats their boat too.

Honestly, half the time on here if you have more than a thimbleful you’re a raging alcoholic. We open the champagne when we get up on Christmas Day as do most people we know.

5 canapés each was measly and I wouldn’t have offered tea and coffee only at 11am, people are free to choose whatever they wish to drink on Christmas Day in our home without judgement.

It sounds a pretty boring Christmas Day and I’d have been bored tbh but we’re used to having a houseful of family normally.

Well, I'm sure it'll be a cracking Christmas next year when DB's GF is hosting everyone.

(She will be hosting, right? She's not just an ungrateful so-and-so?)