Was my Christmas Day "abstemious"?

@ThatKhakiMoose they ate a huge Christmas dinner at 3. I'd struggle to be hungry at 9 after that lot. The OP offered cheese but no-one was hungry.

Your day sounds great, and has got me thinking mine was probably quite dull!

I don’t think there is anything here to suggest that this woman in her 30s is going to shack up with the OP’s 15 year old son. I feel like that would be a very different thread. 😂😂

It is the OPs brothers girlfriend not her sons .

i can take drink or leave it. Sometimes I go out and have a bit to drink and get a bit merry, if I feel like it, but mostly I don’t. But I have been accused by my brother as being boring because I don’t drink as much as he does, or my sister. They get drunk regularly. I told him that I think people who drink a lot in company do so because they’re boring people who can’t hold a conversation so just get drunk because they think being drunk makes them exciting and fun to be around, when quite often the opposite is true. Didn’t go down well with him, but I just got fed up of him mentioning this at every family get together. I can have a good time without getting drunk.

Sounds lovely op, and you sound like a lovely hostess.

I would be hesitant to fall into the trap of hosting them every year.

Does DB ever host?

To me this seems like a lovely day with a really good amount of food and drink offered.

The rule in our house is that if you want something specific to drink you bring it. We aren't really drinkers, but there will generally be a bottle fizz, some sort of cider and beer and lemonade/coke/squash/tea/coffee. I'm not going to trouble of spending loads on various different types of booze and mixers.

If she wanted vodka she should have brought vodka.

She's priming for next Christmas when she'll insist on going to her parents for every year to come as 'it's more fun'. Don't expect to see your son on Christmas Day again!

lol, yes as more that two glasses of wine over 12 hours on Xmas day is over indulging.

The guest did not make the comment to the OP.

The brother was an oaf to pass it on.

Oh please on the snarky "if that's what she needed to have fun." That phrase is so tiresome and childish and close-minded.

Many people enjoy sumptuous food and drink on Christmas Day; it doesn't make them gluttons and tossers.

OP's offerings sound OK but hardly generous. Tea and coffee on arrival on Christmas morning is pretty grim.

And good hosts find out what their guests like to drink, and have it on hand.

That's not remotely abstemious unless you're some kind of overindulger. It sounds lovely.

Christmas is a very personal thing, yours sounds fine, different to ours but that’s not a bad thing. I have a friend where her and her family all get smashed but that’s really not for me on Christmas Day…that said, there’s nothing wrong with what they do either.

Tbh it doesn't sound as if you were over-generous with the pours. You say that nine people had the low-alcohol sloe gin fizz but you only opened two bottles. No hope of a top-up, then! 🤣

When everyone had champagne, there were 9 of you but you only used 1.5 bottles.

At lunch, two bottles of red wine among 7 adults is, again, not much.

And then, you say that when you played games, there was red wine and champagne to finish off, even though you only used 1.5 bottles of the former and 2 bottles of the latter, among 7-9 people.

Your pours must have been tiny! And definitely no hope of any top-ups! I suspect that this is what gf is referring to.

I hardly ever drink, but if I was hosting a big Christmas, I'd ensure there was more alcohol than only enough for one small glass each and no top-ups. That does seem like an abstemious amount of alcohol on Christmas. I'd have doubled what you used for 7 adults and 2 teens over 12 hours.

Also, if you ate at 1, offering only cheese at 9 isn't very generous. I expect some of the guests went home a little peckish!

Sounds a lovely day to me!

I think your brother was a bit cheeky passing that info on!

Sounds wonderful to me! Please can I come next year and she can go elsewhere?!
I agree with a previous comment that she should have provided alcohol if that’s what she felt she needed to have fun.
The only thing lacking appears to be her manners.

You done more than enough op.
I wouldn't give her a second thought.

😆True! But I suppose that's why you should offer a choice. Or at least lemonade to top up a dryer white wine. MIL will do that with dry white wine. But I can't make a sweet wine less sweet.

It sounds great can I come!!
Definitely get a karaoke machine however, I'm sure some in your party can sing...

Quite a lot less abstemious than ours, at least in terms of alcohol. I like to get gently merry, I can never see the merit in getting so smashed you can't remember anything and feel awful the next day.

Your Christmas sounds fantastic OP!! A really nice day. She should have brought her own drinks f it bothered her. If the comment comes again, I'd 100 percent say, we are excited to see how you do it next year - your turn!

I'd provide drinks if I was hosting. But people are welcome to bring their own preferred ones if they'll only drink one type of drink and turn down everything else. I'll take whatever's on offer if I was a guest at someone's house, but I understand that some people have very specific favourite drinks sometimes eg they only drink a specific fruity cider and wouldn't drink anything else. And I can't be doing with people insisting that they will only, for eg, drink Coke Zero and so refuse a Pepsi, or the other way round. If you're that fussy bring your own specific cola. I'm too old to transporting 2 whole drinks aisles from Tescos to my house

My thoughts exactly.

Sounds fine to me , if she doesn’t want to come again nobody will force her to . FWIW I’m a total non drinker as is my husband and our adult children so nobody gets offered alcohol if they come to us because I don’t buy it . We were at my sisters Christmas Day and the only person who had a drink was my other sisters husband and my sister who was hosting very kindly provides wine etc for him .