To ask what skills you think your children need to adult ?

There is some excellent advice and suggestions on here.

I have a niece who is 3 weeks older than DD. DN cannot/ will not order food confidently in a restaurant or make a phone call. She can’t make eye contact with a waitress or waiter and has no small talk or social skills. DD is able to do all of the above and honestly I’m relieved.

I work in a high school and I’d say over half the kids have never made a phone call.

Some answers were:
Drive
Swim
Cook
Mix cocktails

Well, I'm 46 and I can swim a mean doggy paddle. 😂

#FailureToLaunch

I agree that swimming is not necessary... but water safety is very important. Everyone should know their limitations.

How to manage their budget without accruing debt (other than mortgage or education).
How to live as an independent adult- cooking, cleaning, health, travel etc
How to read between the lines, look for the facts in the massive amount of information that's thrown at them every day.
How to say no.

As the parent of a teen and living near the beach it is reassuring to know she is a competent first aider and lifeguard so when she's out I know she's equipped to make the best decision possible.

For an adult though
Ambition
Work ethic
Resilience
Delayed gratification

Know the difference between nouns and verbs.
Know the importance, or lack of, of alcohol in life.
Know how to do all the things successful adults do, which will depend on the type of adult, where they live, who they live with, what they do, where they go, their environment, their abilities and disabilities, whether they’re male or female….etc.

This is a meaningless question.

Critical thinking.
I also taught mine how to clean a bathroom, including the toilet, before they went off to uni. They were amazed by fellow students' complete inability to clean a loo!

Manage money.
Keep a home reasonably- so tidying/ bills/ shopping
Self care- e.g. how to get appointments for relevant services, how to keep self healthy- food, exercise, alcohol etc
Relationships with others- how to treat others, what you should expect and what would be a red flag

Say or send a thank you note in a timely fashion

There are some very subjective opinions on this thread. I've rarely drunk a cocktail, not on my radar at all! ...champagne is for weddings so hardly features.
I'd add be confident using public transport. I know several adults who are fearful of trains and will not use them.
Being able to do basic household maintenance and decorating.
Basic first aid.

And to have empathy for others and a social conscience

To be resilient and capable adults who are able to conduct themselves well socially and professionally.
To have a good work ethic
To be prepared to learn from those more experienced than themselves
The rest is just practical knowledge they can pick up as they go along

Learn how to think critically, so you are not taken down Internet rabbit holes or believe all you read online.

I can’t drive or swim, and I can assure you I’m a functioning adult.

@foreverbasil makes some good points. I’d also focus on the things so many Mners seem underskilled at — to be able to talk to anyone, to be able to circulate confidently and with enjoyment in a room of strangers, being multilingual, confident public speaking, the ability to enjoy being alone, the ability to make and retain good, sustaining friendships, and to handle disagreements and disappointments within those friendships, the confidence to try new things, to fail gracefully etc.

Cleaning (day to day and deep cleaning)
Organisation
Strong life admin
Cooking for self and others, confidently
Hosting with ease
Small talk and chit chat with everyone from a cleaner to a ceo
Answer the phone properly
Business etiquette
Confidence in handling difficult situations
Calmness in crisis

To job hunt, and apply for jobs on their own.

Budgeting. And understanding what they'll need to budget for. I went through this point by point with my niece who was under the impression she could afford to get her own place as a 20yo on minimum wage. Gas, electric, water, council tax, internet, contract for servicing the boiler, insurance, everything. Did the sums on paper in front of her and once I'd explained the new concept of council tax she finally saw the point. Her parents are hopeless.

Resilience. Everything else has been covered.

Finances, importance of a pension, what is good debt vs bad debt.
Basic cooking
Cleaning, using a washing machine
Learning to drive and also learning to navigate public transport.
Map reading with a paper map (this might be peculiar to my family)
The confidence to hold a conversation, to know when to argue and when not to argue a point and give in gracefully.

Financial literacy
Good communication skills - both verbal and written
Decent computer skills
A life long learner
To be comfortable in their own skin and on their own head
Initiative
Self motivated
Self care - physical and mental
Open to feedback and constructive criticism
A willingness to seek help and ask questions

Oh my god - I don't drive, swim or understand all the laundry symbols. I guess that makes me a pretty rubbish adult 😅 my cooking skills are fairly basic too.
I think finances are the key thing - too few people I know understand their pension and the number of times I've heard a friend say they were surprised by their mortgage statement is really worrying 😟
The other thing would be internet safety - even beyond childhood people can remain vulnerable and scams are increasingly sophisticated.
I would add, for our children, understanding AI will be really important. It's going to impact the entire jobs market - AI skills are going to make you employable. We've just rid if a load of functions and have replaced them with a handful of AI prompters- basically people who can interact with AI tools well enough they can get the tools to do a range of things efficiently. It's across marketing, legal, compliance and IT so a lot of departments were impacted.

I talked about this a lot with DD:

Cook basic things
Clean, including a toilet
Navigate public transport
Know how to spot an arsehole
Banking and saving and loan interest
Do a wash, including delicates
Take on responsibility, eg job or volunteering
Recognise difference and differing beliefs
Contraception/ std protection
Spend time alone

Manage financial affairs including a pension
Cook
Clean
Laundry
Be a decent person
Be able to establish and maintain healthy boundaries (I did not grow up with this and have had to learn the hard way)
Be comfortable in their skin
Understand the importance of kindness
To be kind but not a doormat
To be able to accept different perspectives and discuss these without resorting to anger or insults
To have a good education behind them
To feel confident about decisions they take, yet flexible and humble enough to change their minds if they need to.

I saved this some time ago and think it’s quite true!

Open and pour a bottle of champagne
Make decent tea and coffee
Knowing how to shop around for utilities etc and the importance of doing so
Change a tyre
Making conversation in social settings
Nice restaurant- how to book, order, pay etc
Whrn recipes can be adapted and when they must be followed strictly
Ditto for washing instructions on clothes
Lightbulbs, fuses etc.