...to still be afraid of starting HRT?

I'm sorry to hear this. I've just started HRT and am a bit worried about this happening to me.

Having just turned 58 I'm suddenly experiencing more symptoms, and they're much worse than the previous ones: copious night sweats where you wake up in a horrible chilly puddle, complete body temperature dysregulation (so I'll be boiling when it's freezing in a room, or freezing when it's 21 degrees), and extremely painful musculoskeletal issues - my right hip, for example, hurts so much that when I get up from a chair I can't stand, and would fall over if I didn't hold on to something. But even worse is the rage.

So, these are concerning symptoms, but you are 4yrs post menopause. It is very unlikely that fluctuating hormones are causing these new symptoms.

I would be asking the GP to urgently investigate the symptoms as they are both suddenly new and severe- there are some nasty illnesses like AML that also cause that shivery feeling, night sweats and joint pain. The rage could be a psychological reaction to being ill and frustrated with being ill.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/acute-myeloid-leukaemia/symptoms/

Your gut feeling to not take HRT might be your intuition telling you this is something different and HRT is a waste of time.

You need to do more research. There is an excellent Facebook Group The Menopause Support Network which has lots of resources in the files section, including all the stats on risks, all the NICE guidelines etc etc.

For me personally I don't know what I'd do without HRT. I too was afraid of the risks and saw it as bad. I had horrendous symptoms from 48, but resisted HRT and my life was hell. I ended up losing my job.

I finally went on HRT at 54 because the feeling of lack of joy added to the rage, panic attacks etc tipped me over the edge. I just couldn't live my life like that.

I've gradually increased my dose to the maximum as after starting I had more physical.symtoms - xaginal atrophy, vertigo- that began 4 years after menopause.

All my symptoms are now alleviated, apart from.a lack of motivation that I think I'll have to learn to live with.

Bad Menopause runs in my family. My mum became four tempered in her late 40's, never went to the doctor about it and basically limped along angry and depressed. My sister was sectioned at age 51, nobody ever suggested Menopause as a reason at the time but she's now on HRT and totally fine.

I do think you have to weigh up the risks against the lack of quality of life. Of my close friends only 3 of us are on it, the rest haven't had debilitating symptoms so feel they can cope without.

I arrived rather late to the HRT party and started taking it 3 years ago at the age of 64, a full 14 years after menopause.

I mostly wanted it in order to protect what's left of my bones (I have osteoporosis). But I've noticed other benefits. My heart palpitations (ectopic beats), that I'd had for almost 20 years, stopped within a day or two of my starting the HRT and haven't returned. I also no longer wake during sleep needing to empty my bladder. In general, my bladder seems "younger" than it was, in that I no longer need to go to the loo as often as before.
I also no longer seem to have SAD.

I'm told that the transdermal oestrogen patches, such as the ones I use, carry very little risk of breast cancer. I check my breasts monthly and always attend for mammograms when called. I think my risk is low, because I hardly ever drink alcohol (and I never have more than one glass of wine when I do) and I'm not overweight. Both of those things, especially if combined, carry a much higher risk than HRT does.

I started on HRT in August, I was 67 earlier this month. I went to my appointment armed with info to back up me wanting to try HRT - I had the most amazing talk with the menopause nurse who explained the risks etc. I’m on the Lenzetto spray and Utrogestan tablets. I had had hot flushes and night sweats since I was 43, these virtually disappeared within a couple of weeks of starting HRT. I now feel that my body can regulate itself with temperatures - I actually fastened up my warm coat the other day as it was so cold outside, something I haven’t done in years as I was always ‘too hot’. As for sleep! I no longer wake up several times a night, my husband says I hardly move! Although I do feel that I could sleep for England - maybe it’s my body catching up on the years of poor sleep!
I was disappointed to be told that ‘the ship had sailed’ regarding HRT protecting my brain, heart and bones, that it’s too late by a good 15 years. All because when I was 50 my then (younger than me) GP told me he wouldn’t want his wife on HRT because of the risks (we now know ‘that’ study was wrong) and prescribed antidepressants instead.
I wish I’d started HRT sooner.

Oh dear, was that an error on the doctors part? What sort of hrt was that?

@Barney16
Interesting post! In what way was your life miserable before and how has it helped you? Has it helped with aches and pains for instance?

without needing to resort to HRT.

"Without using the medication that has been developed for decades to support women when their bodies go through hormonal changes"

I wouldn't be without it, it's been a lifesaver.

I was similar to you. Post meno but about three years. Age 56. No major symptoms except joint pain. Like you I was struggling with mobility at times.

I started HRT a month ago. No side effects. I will give it three months to see if I feel better and if not I'll stop. To me the benefits of mobility outweigh the risks of breast cancer.

So far, pains are slightly reduced.

I have been on HRT in various forms for over a decade. Currently gel oestrogen, Mirena coil, vaginal oestrogen cream and testosterone. It has been reviewed and agreed by an nhs menopause specialist doctor and I feel better for it.

However it hasn’t been some kind of magic bullet that has restored eternal youth as seems to be the headline by some campaigners. I’m still forgetful, cranky and achey. I imagine I’d be much worse without it. It switched my hot flushes off like a light switch though and has to some degree restored my libido.

She researched it and decided that the increased risk was worth it. Her reasoning was that it was only an increased risk amd not a guarantee but that her life right 'now' was impacted so severely by the symptoms that it was worth the additional risk to enjoy the life she had.

110% this.

Personally I would never take it.

My best friend has just been taken off it and told she's now at high risk of cancer because apparently they got the dosage wrong.

Too much negative anecdotal evidence in my social circle for me to consider it.

I'm 50. No HRT bit I'm starting to feel symptoms.

Anyway, I have a friend who was on HRT in her 50s. She was told she couldn't stay on it any longer due to the increased risk of breast cancer.

She researched it and decided that the increased risk was worth it. Her reasoning was that it was only an increased risk amd not a guarantee but that her life right 'now' was impacted so severely by the symptoms that it was worth the additional risk to enjoy the life she had.

She's a now retired GP.

My mum is in constant pain from bone degeneration and can't walk more than meters at a time. The contrast with still fit and well MiL who is the same age is stark. So as you don't know your family history you could have female relatives with breast cancer, but similarly you could have female relatives with bone density problems. For me it was a no brainer to begin HRT as soon as I could and I will remain on it for as long as I can.

@ohime
I’m going to send you a pm

I've been on oestrogen only (had a total hysterectomy) HRT for 15 years. I was late 40s when I went into surgical menopause (hell on earth). I'm on a low dose patch. I feel great and have no intentions of stopping and my GPs agree. A patch doesn't carry the stroke and blood clot risk that a tablet does.
Why not try it and see how it suits you? Ask for a patch then you can forget about it most of the time

It's a personal decision. My DM died of breast cancer, so I was very cautious. What helped me was watching the Davina Mcoll (sp) program about menopause which helped my decision as it debunked some myths.

It's helping me stay in my fast paced job which I love, as I no longer have brain fog and The Rage which was making me difficult to work with and for.

I'm older than you and have taken HRT for six years. There's no way I would stop taking it because before I did my life was utterly miserable. It gave me my life back. Someone said earlier it's fashionable. It's not fashionable it's a prescribed drug that has undergone extensive testing that provides multiple benefits. Many women still are not able to access HRT (if they want it) which is a disgrace. Having had my short rant, OP it's your personal choice. If you feel the risk is too great then don't proceed. You may find a private specialist helpful if you can afford it because they may give you more time to discuss and answer any questions you may have.

There are many more women who need HRT and would benefit from it than there are women taking it. It’s a personal decision for you having done your homework and understanding the balance of risk. As pp has said, there are many other lifestyle factors that are far riskier than HRT, which the HRT naysayers never address.

Fashionable? That's a strange word to use for a medical prescription. It's demeaning actually towards women. Would you use the word "fashionable " to describe Taxotere?

I'm 57 and don't have the same perspective as you at all. I'm not sure if I've been asleep or you're madly paranoid 😆 I've happily been on HRT for two years.

I think it would help to understand that 16% increased risk of breast cancer. What does that actually mean? Eg, if the usual risk is 1% and your increased risk is 1.16% I'd say the HRT benefits outweigh that risk.

I think PP's point about your current suffering is a good one. Why not try the HRT, say for 3 months, and see how you get on? It doesn't have to be a lifetime commitment.

I've taken HRT for 11 years, I have no concerns.

I took it immediately on reaching menopause though, I would be a bit concerned if I'd had a gap of a few years between menopause and starting to take it. If I had the symptoms you have though I would still take it.

It's your choice, OP.
Lots of people will advise you to take it. That's fine.
But it's not compulsory. I am 59, I have never taken it and never will. And there are plenty of us out there.
HRT is very fashionable at the moment, but it's not for everyone. So just do whatever you want.

I got breast cancer after being on HRT for about a year. There are different types of breast cancer, and the one I got has a definite link to HRT. The incidence of it has doubled in about ten years, I think. I was genetically tested, and HRT is one of the things they ask about (other things being hormonal contraception and pregnancy and breast feeding). I was fit, slim, plant-based diet, a non-drinker and non-smoker. I would never take HRT.