Page 7 | Dp restricting the heating - red flag

Miyagi99 · 29/12/2024 11:11

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 29/12/2024 11:02

@Copernicus321 I agree with DP. Heating hasn't been on for several days... it's boiling. I almost changed the duvet last night and we always have the window open at night. Even DP thought it was warm.

Jesus, what country are you in??? my part of scotland was baltic last night!

I’m in Wales and we’ve had the windows open in the day all over the Christmas period.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 29/12/2024 11:11

Calliecarpa · 29/12/2024 11:05

So you gave him the go-ahead to put a restriction on the heating (you were joking but maybe he didn't realise?) but then you made him take it off? And you're asking if he is the 'major red flag'?

As other PP have said, it's impossible to answer your question without more information. But some of us really hate having the heating on too high, whereas you seem to like your house very warm, so maybe you and DP are going to have to figure out a compromise.

Took it as more of a dare/threat from OP.

Then she 'made' him take it off.....

Not coming across well OP. You both have a right to feel comfortable, taking into account heating costs.

You can layer up if cold, if it's too hot for him, he can't do much.

I know a couple of households where temperatures are at high 20's all through the year.
In summer they combat it by opening windows, not turning the heating down.
More money than sense.

JoyeuxNarwhal · 29/12/2024 11:11

I mean if it's really cold (less than 15 or so) and he's also denying you access to jumpers/slippers/blankets etc maybe you'd have a point.

JoyeuxNarwhal · 29/12/2024 11:11

I mean if it's really cold (less than 15 or so) and he's also denying you access to jumpers/slippers/blankets etc maybe you'd have a point.

mikado1 · 29/12/2024 11:10

I forgot to open a bedroom window last night and woke up with a headache, despite no heat!
We spend the time turning up and down, opening and closing windows, turning on and off lights and putting up and down blinds 😆

Miyagi99 · 29/12/2024 11:09

Central heating makes some people ill, it definitely does me, much easier and cheaper to put more layers on.

ueberlin2030 · 29/12/2024 11:06

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 29/12/2024 11:02

@Copernicus321 I agree with DP. Heating hasn't been on for several days... it's boiling. I almost changed the duvet last night and we always have the window open at night. Even DP thought it was warm.

Jesus, what country are you in??? my part of scotland was baltic last night!

I'm in Scotland too (quite far north) - it's quite mild and I turned the heating in the lounge down and turned it off completely in my bedroom. DS has kept his bedroom heater on the timer though, as he feels colder.

BoredZelda · 29/12/2024 11:06

Jesus, what country are you in??? my part of scotland was baltic last night!

Where in Scotland are you? We've just had a week in the North East and it's unseasonably warm. Now back in the central belt, it's definitely not Baltic.

Calliecarpa · 29/12/2024 11:06

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 29/12/2024 11:02

@Copernicus321 I agree with DP. Heating hasn't been on for several days... it's boiling. I almost changed the duvet last night and we always have the window open at night. Even DP thought it was warm.

Jesus, what country are you in??? my part of scotland was baltic last night!

I'm in NW England and it's been pretty mild the last few nights where I live. Over Christmas I don't think it even dropped into single figures at night.

Nanny0gg · 29/12/2024 11:06

Undisclosedlocation · 29/12/2024 10:38

Why is it more controlling for him to insist on cooler, than you are to insist on warmer?

Of all the frankly ridiculous reasons to tar all men with the abuse brush, this has to be up there at the top!

The issue is the restrictor

Which he has decided on

Calliecarpa · 29/12/2024 11:05

So you gave him the go-ahead to put a restriction on the heating (you were joking but maybe he didn't realise?) but then you made him take it off? And you're asking if he is the 'major red flag'?

As other PP have said, it's impossible to answer your question without more information. But some of us really hate having the heating on too high, whereas you seem to like your house very warm, so maybe you and DP are going to have to figure out a compromise.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 29/12/2024 11:02

@Copernicus321 I agree with DP. Heating hasn't been on for several days... it's boiling. I almost changed the duvet last night and we always have the window open at night. Even DP thought it was warm.

Jesus, what country are you in??? my part of scotland was baltic last night!

ShortyShorts · 29/12/2024 10:58

Actually that's a fair point.

"I have since made him take it off."

Why didn't you just take it off yourself? You can't go 'making' other adults do things for you and then moan about control.

Butteredtoast55 · 29/12/2024 10:57

So you 'made him' change it and you think he is the one who is controlling? OK.

CarefulN0w · 29/12/2024 10:55

You say you made him change it back to your preference. So no, it doesn't sound like a bloody red flag.

ShortyShorts · 29/12/2024 10:47

Whatbloodysummer · 29/12/2024 10:46

Unless he has a financial problem which would mean he couldn't pay for the increased price incurred by turning up the heating, then yes, it IS a major red flag for him to be saying that HE is the one who has total control over the heating (or anything else!)

Is he seeking 'control' in other areas?

I'm not sure how you can say that with such little information from the OP.

For all we know she could be sat in a t-shirt or thin cardigan, while he's sweating his nuts off and getting headaches.

She needs to come back with more info.

ueberlin2030 · 29/12/2024 10:47

whatamidoingheree · 29/12/2024 10:30

Just that. He has been complaining i put it up too high and joked he would put a restriction on it. I laughed and said try it. But he did.

I have since made him take it off.

Is that not a major red flag though?!

Not necessarily - the language wasn't great but many folk do have to be careful how high they turn their heating because it costs money. It's a bit entitled to not be aware of that.

Whatbloodysummer · 29/12/2024 10:46

Unless he has a financial problem which would mean he couldn't pay for the increased price incurred by turning up the heating, then yes, it IS a major red flag for him to be saying that HE is the one who has total control over the heating (or anything else!)

Is he seeking 'control' in other areas?

Copernicus321 · 29/12/2024 10:44

I agree with DP. Heating hasn't been on for several days... it's boiling. I almost changed the duvet last night and we always have the window open at night. Even DP thought it was warm.

ACynicalDad · 29/12/2024 10:43

You told him to, in isolation probably not, if there’s more maybe.

Pigeonqueen · 29/12/2024 10:43

Well if you can’t afford it or it’s on 33 degrees or something then it’s not controlling, just common sense.

MiniPumpkin · 29/12/2024 10:42

Maybe he feels the same as me, dh will turn heating on and I get to a stage I am completely melting and I just have to put it off.

CandyCane5 · 29/12/2024 10:41

It's not a red flag. It can be costly. It can be extremely uncomfortable too hot.
A few degrees lower can make a difference to the bill.

I would happily have my heating up to 30, but know that's absolutely unreasonable for most and unnecessary to have it that warm.

CornishPorsche · 29/12/2024 10:40

JMSA · 29/12/2024 10:35

On what planet would this be considered a huge red flag?!
It's a difference of opinion.
Unless he continually keeps you in the cold, I think you need to get over yourself a bit.

The red flag to me would be keeping the home below, say, 16c or even above 22c...

If she's trying to heat the house above 23c and he's melting, he has a point. If she's trying to keep it about 18-20c, it could indeed be a red flag. So it depends on what is happening!

FartyAnimal · 29/12/2024 10:40

My poxy husband keeps turning the thermostat up to 24. It's bloody boiling. So it is a constant up/down battle.