Dp restricting the heating - red flag

The recommended temps vary for different rooms/parts of the house.

18 is the minimum recommended.
18-20 is the recommended.

I have parental controls on mine and only I know the code, it's set at a perfectly reasonable 18 degrees and dc whine they want it warmer, tough!

Ours is set to 19. That suits us all fine. Have you talked about it? What is it set to?

Jesus wept. Have you ever lived with anyone before? It’s entirely normal to have to go through several iterations before you get to a happy balance of temperature/ cost balancing.

I'm glad someone finds the COL crisis amusing.

I think some folk are brought up being used to getting their own way all/most of the time.

Not getting your own way op is not a red flag.
Not everything is a red flag.

I cant deal with heating over 20.
I once had an ex that would want the heating on 30 plus all day and night i couldnt deal with it.
If its to hot my head will start banging.
I have my windows open 24/7 i dont know how some people do it windows closed heating full on.
I went in my friends house once and walked out the back door it was so hot and stuffy.

Or the blokes just sick of being too warm

I've been to friends and families homes where they have the heating turned up high as all hell. Their home, their choice but I'm dying. 🥵🥵🥵 I couldn't live like that in my own home.

So no, he shouldn't be putting restrictions on the heating but it's possibly telling you haven't mentioned what temperature you like it at, and also what temperature he likes it to be. It's his home as well presumably and he deserves to feel comfortable too.

You had a discussion around the heating. He wants it lower you want it higher. You discuss and agree what it should be. It is not a "red flag" just because he will not do what you want. iIt is more worrying that you think he should just roll over.

It may have been the challenge that compelled him to do it rather than keeping you in your place. You would be better to reach a compromise. In terms of red flag, one off incident no, but look out fir other things along side it

5iveleafclovers
I'm in Ireland and it's been unseasonably warm here since Christmas eve. 9/10 degrees at night. Daytime temperatures of 12/13 degrees some days. We're walking round the house in t-shirts

Here too, NW coast. Noticed yesterday that the pear, lilac and magnolia trees are already in bud and new leaves appearing on the roses. Earliest I’ve ever seen. Bizarre.

I'm in Ireland and it's been unseasonably warm here since Christmas eve. 9/10 degrees at night. Daytime temperatures of 12/13 degrees some days. We're walking round the house in t-shirts.

I also agree with this.

There’s nothing worse than being too hot in your own home.

If you are cold you can add layers, but there’s only so much he can do to cool off.

From context it’s hard to judge.
As others have said so much more information is needed.
The temp you put it at, the temp he puts it at?
was it done in jest?

I can imagine me doing something like that to my husband and laughing when he finds out. He is one that will turn it up to 25 to get it hot. The max I do is 22 and even then I’m too hot it’s normally just to get the heat flowing again and then turn it down to 19.

It depends if you live together and share finances/pay most of the bills.

I have to restrict the amount of hearing I use for financial reasons.
I am not controlling.
I am just sensible and won’t get into debt when I can put extra layers on or move more instead.

If money isn’t an issue, then it could be a red flag.

If money is an issue, then it’s not a red flag.

Edit: unless he finds the heat uncomfortable, which means YABU to turn it up.

Well no. Making your partner put up with a temperature that’s far too warm for them is pretty controlling.

Never said it wasn't.

I don't like the sound of a 'restriction' that he put on and then had to be persuaded to take off again. I wouldn't be having that. Reminds me of a colleague who would 'joke' about controlling the central heating from his mobile when his partner and baby were at home and he was in the office. Creepy, ugly, disrespectful twat, I have made sure to have nothing to do with him since.

Not enough information

if you are making me sweat inside my house, we are going to have a problem.

DH and I have negotiated the temperature. Neither of us is truly happy. Whenever he goes out of town, I drop it considerably.

This post could equally well be the other way round. My DP turns the heating up too high and refuses to turn it down. Is that a red flag?

On the bizarre parallel universe world of planet MN.

I’m in a constant battle with DH, & DC when they are at home as they would rather turn up the heat than wear an extra jumper.
i keep the house at 19 because I really care about our carbon emissions.
so no, not a red flag.