Dp restricting the heating - red flag

There's always such a gender double standard on this sort of manipulative shit.

No. Posting this is though.

He might just hate being hot 🥵 as do I.
It feels stressful and very uncomfortable / itchy .
I can be fine in other people’s homes when they are heated to about 19/20c .
any warmer than that I’d have to make my excuses and leave .
our house is kept cooler than that but we don’t let it drop below 17c , we wear jumpers / sweatshirts and slippers .
we don’t layer up with blankets and oodies .
however in mid summer I’m more than happy for the inside of our house to be 22c and a nice breeze coming through open windows and doors

As long as he removed the restriction when you asked, without fighting about it, I wouldn't be overly concerned (depending on what the rest of your relationship is like, of course). In that case he simply made a judgment error. It's probably a good idea to have a talk about it though, to avoid similar instances in future.

I don't even know what you mean by 'reacted privately via MN'.
My point stands, you're laughing at folk struggling due to COL and seem to think it's some gotcha when it's not.

No I didn't. You reacted privately via MN and laughed at me pointing out to you that you had misunderstood me. I then laughed back at you as you didn't have the guts to post openly your point and did it passively aggressively so other could not see.

Surely the temperature outside is irrelevant. 19 in the house is the 19 whether it’s 10 degrees outside or minus 10 outside

My DH moans if I put it over 17, I thought that was normal. When I say I’m cold he says ‘no you’re not’ even though my hands are going numb sat at my desk!

Reading these comments make me think I have a problem. My heating has to be on 23 or I’m freezing. I can’t let it go beneath that.

Is everything a red flag nowadays?

I pay the heating bills in our house.
Dam right I restrict it .....
I am also a light switch Nazi.

My husband did that. It was a marriage of control over little things that grew. In the end we lived together separately until he passed.
For me, I see a red flag, only you will know if it’s an isolated incident.
good luck.

You laughed at me pointing out people were struggling. That's not the gotcha you seem to think it is.

Not a red flag for me. He removed the restriction when you asked but I wouldn't be impressed if restricted it again.

If he's actually just too hot, you might try some extra personal measures to feel more comfortable. A heated gilet has been a godsend for me this winter.

I like the house warm, but my warm is around 18-19⁰. I am wearing thermals etc.
I only switch it on for 2 hours in the morning, 3 hours in the late afternoon eg 5pm to 8pm It's over night.

Not enough info.

Whose house/flat is it? Who pays the bills? How high was it? Etc etc.

@Nanny0gg yeah, the hat is hopefully for dire straights only. I did used to need to wear one when I had really bad health problems affecting my temperature.
But a gilet and a jumper is reasonable. And I did suggest a space heater as well. I don't want anyone to freeze! 🤣

No, it isn't a red flag. Every little disagreement is not a red flag.

It should be on a little bit otherwise the room you are heating is also heating the unheated ones.

And I will never understand leaving it on at night

I would NOT be wearing a hat indoors unless heating was completely unaffordable.

Bloody miserable way to live

You're passive aggressive to me, you get it right back attacha.

Not a red flag unless he wants the heating kept unreasonably low. In general I think it's wrong from an environmental viewpoint to leave its use unrestricted: it should never be too high, and should not be on in rooms that don't need it.

Are your DC quite slim or under teen age? My weight is on the lower boundary of healthy (naturally) and I'm genuinely cold at 18, 19 is comfortable. I'm pretty sure it's weight related as during pregnancies when I managed to put weight on I didnt feel the cold as much. If you can afford it I'd put it up a little. My DP is slightly larger (not overweight but close to) and stays warm much easier than us.

You've not given enough context. If he's put it at 17 or something and you're uncomfortable then yes that's not good, but if you're putting it at 21 and he's melting then it's fair enough.
As an aside if you are constantly cold in normal temperatures it can be a thyroid issue.
Either way he's agreed to put it back up so it's not a red flag, just a difference of opinion.

Not a 'red flag' if you're blasting up the heating continuously and making him uncomfortably hot. I can't bear an overheated house...makes me feel sick. Of course, if he's insisting you live in arctic conditions and you are LITERALLY freezing your arse off, that's a different matter. If it's just that you are feeling the cold a bit more than he is, put another layer on or wrap yourself in a blanket. It's easier to warm up by adding layers if you're too cold, than it is to strip off if you're too warm..nobody wants to walk round naked!