To ask why women would be uncomfortable with unisex bathrooms

Ever notice with these types of posts that you have an overwhelming majority of women explaining all the reasons they don’t want, like or can be in unisex toilets, then around 5% who say ‘I’m not bothered, I don’t see the issue’ (obviously without the ability to read the other 95% of posts).

But nobody ever says ‘unisex toilets are great actually for x, y and z and all toilets should be like this’, it’s more just general nonchalance and ‘don’t really care’

So on the basis that 95%+ don’t like them, and 5% aren’t bothered, why in the world are they even in place?

(I know why really, but I’m sort of curious if the ‘what’s the issue’ crowd could explain the positives).

The only way I can maybe be okay with them is if they’re bigger toilets and the hand washing/mirror area is inside. But then the queue is going to turn massive with people waiting for other people to get ready.

However given men’s history, chances are some creep will either stick his 🍆 in the hand soap or put a camera in there. Or both.

Single sex toilets that are private but can be accessed easily in an emergency are vital. Choking is another example of when people tend to run to a toilet and then pass out.

DH managed to save someone when he saw them choke and run into a restaurant toilet. The poor guy collapsed but DH climbed over the cubicle door and thankfully got to him in time.

Of course small private venues might have room for only one or two fully enclosed toilets. But bigger places where so called progressive unisex sealed cubicles are replacing open plan single sex ones are absolutely not prioritising safety.

Definitely this. If no washbasin in the actual toilet cubicle you have to go outside to wash your hands with possible period blood on too.

I've experienced this - I'd like to know from men if men do this in male-only facilities, or if it's a power-play or creep thing that they reserve for mixed-sex facilities. (Whatever the answer, it's gross and unacceptable. )

often those cords are tied up but even if not what if you collapse without being able to pull the cord? I was once very unwell in a cubicle and someone came to help because they saw me collapsed on the floor via the gap

I can't see men being keen that keen on a shared loo. There tends not to be queues at the gents for a start.

It just feels awkward, and too much familiarity with complete strangers of the opposite sex. If given a choice - ie on an aeroplane- then it has to be accepted, but it is uncomfortable all round.

Unisex means gender neutral. Well, as a female I am not gender neutral so I prefer a loo for ladies only.

What if someone doesn't consider themselves male or female but say a cat? Is there going to be giant litter tray positioned next to the unisex loo?

I’ve been in two unisex facilities where the men left the cubicle doors open. One was onto a corridor in a restaurant. The other was in a railway toilets which had been women only but then turned unisex. I was with my young children and complained to railway staff who said it was always happening.

According to Cambridge rape crisis website one in 30 women are raped or sexually assaulted every year in the UK. I’d imagine overwhelmingly by men.

I don’t like the odds of not sharing bathroom space with such a man in unisex public bathrooms especially as you can’t tell if there are lots of people in there (so safer) or not until you’re in and there’s normally only one way in and out.

I know a predator could use bathrooms this way at the moment but it’s so much more unlikely when they can’t pretend to be in there for good reason.

Ive worked in pubs too and have only had the opposite, but if this was in anyway true, unisex toilets would be utterly shit for men too. So not really a winning ‘yay for unisex toilets’ argument.

Not every woman shares a home with a man, so no, not necessarily. And those of us that do, reserve the right to share our homes with men who we are reasonably sure won't assault us, or won't pee on the seat and leave a puddle on the floor. So.

Look some places only have unisex and that’s our choice to use them. But why should we lose the option of going to places where we know there are women-only bathrooms?

I know, ‘not all men,’ whatever. The issue is you can’t tell who is safe.

It's OK sharing feelings about unisex toilets on mumsnet etc. The fact is until women fight for the right to not have strange men sharing their facilities there is no point in complaining. My earlier post describing my disgust at a theatre where a man in a hurry to get back to his seat before the show started displayed his appendage before entering the cubicle thinking the space was empty. It wasn't.

I had to use a women's loo like this about two months ago - I got cornered and the only place for me to retreat to was the women's loo, where I was reasonably sure the man wouldn't follow me. It wouldn't have helped that much if he had been determined to physically assault me, but I was being physically cornered and badgered to death with no obvious route out by a man who thought he was being "reasonable" but was in fact being really quite aggressive. He'd have followed me into unisex loos, absolutely no doubt of that.

The only ones I've had the misfortune to use were absolutely disgusting. I've never in my life seen ladies' toilets in a similar environment (an office, not open to the public) even one tenth as filthy as those.

My ex-DH died this way too. The hospice nurse who was with him in his home at the time, together with his adult children, said it's very common.

I went shopping last week to a local town I haven't been to since last summer.

Needing the toilet I made my way over to them and noticed the area has had revamp, all very nice, big new letters on the wall at the entrance on one side MALE.
Other side, as in photo... Cannot for the life of me think why it wasn't also unisex on the mens side too.

It's perturbing to think you seem to be requesting permission here to have a discussion with your husband - but let me ask you this: Isn't your bathroom at home unisex?

It really depends on layout and design.
Recently at hotel lobby the cubicles very private, sink area very open & bright.

But … no area privately touch up hair & makeup. No place to feel relaxed looking in mirror. No sanitary product machines.

Im not sure if there was a single sex or disabled option.

Also, recently travelled in Asia, signs on doors of female bathrooms in many places … no males over age 6. Must be a reason ….

My experience as a cleaner as well. And I did offices so they weren't especially rank, but the gents were still noticeably a little bit ranker. Pee in the hinges, that type of thing.

Im not particularly bothered about sharing bathrooms with males. We have two seperate ones at work, one is used by females but you can hear everything from the office so usually use the downstairs one which the men use for anything other than a wee. I had to clean this a few weeks ago after a female left the floor in a mess and it was stinking. There are lots of unisex toilets in Manchester and Liverpool and probably other cities and back in the 90's it was common place for the females to use the mens toilets at a gig when the queues were huge for the ladies. See also festivals and the portable urinals. Women are now using SheWee devices and can use these also. Walked past one once with a female using it opposite a male and him shouting "you do not make eye contact at the urinals!"

I've never been in a unisex toilet that doesn't have piss on the floor and seat and stink.

People are vulnerable when using the toilet , to mix sexes COULD allow abuse to happen as there is no cameras etc .

This!!!! It’s a bigger blinking risk!!!!

Personally I sit down because I'm a woman, but I understand some of these new women do it standing up.