AIBU to leave a man because of financial reasons

His behaviour is financial abuse don't put up with it Dump his freeloading ass

Definitely end it before the new year. Uou are a cashcownfor him. He hasnt got good intentions, he has no intention of paying for things himself. Be is homeless and cannot pay his own way. What you need to do is look hard at why you thought a homeless father of two who isnt financially able to support or house himself or his children was a good option for a partner and someone to introduce to your child.

@SaulHudsonDavidJones I have just had to google ‘bludger’ as had never heard of it. An Australian term for scrounger, is that right? Whatever, it’s a brilliant word that sums the OP’s issue very well. I will remember this word, and use it again.

A 40 year old man didnt have £2.60 really? What an utter loser! Ditch this freeloader asap!

It comes down to trust.

You can't trust him because he's let you down so many times. He's not reliable. Whether it was money or false promises doesn't really matter.

Trust is essential to a relationship.

What good intentions? The only thing he is good at is treating you with no respect or care and then stringing you along which you’re happy to do. You aren’t even getting crumbs OP. Treat yourself better than this and get rid. He isn’t going to change. He doesn’t love you enough to follow through with anything. I don’t see how there is any sort of future there. The amount of lies he even included your family in- he’s making you look stupid in front of them

He’s clearly taking advantage of you. Dump BY TEXT before the New Year.

As my mum always says, nobody falls in love quicker or harder than a man needing somewhere to live.

you are being used by this freeloading waste of space. Get rid and get your dignity back.

@Whatwouldyoudo26 I wouldn’t meet him in person, he will try to manipulate you into not breaking up. I would do it by phone & then immediately block him Does he still have a set of your keys?

If so, get them back without meeting him, if you can.

My feeling is that he knows how to charm you (he’s been doing it quite successfully for a year) & he’ll try & talk you round, so just take the talking out of the equation.

You deserve so much better - good luck!

"So I'm 26 and he's 40. He quickly moved in with me when he didn't actually have his own place.. not planned but just happened."

This is as far into the OP as I got without thinking 'cocklodger, get rid'. Nothing written after changed my mind.

I dont advice thé nicely nicely approach to ending it. You need to be clear this is the end not his last chance to try harder and win you back

Good lord, why would you waste one minute of your precious life on this freeloading loser?

Dump him and do the Freedom Programme asap.

Yes, just end it.

You're too young for this shit. Leave this one in 2024. Tell him it's not working anymore and also how much he owes you (knowing, of course, that you'll never get it back).

There is no future in this relationship. I earn more than my husband, and what’s more have more savings, inheritance etc. I have had to make it very clear I am not carrying the finances single handedly though and he has always worked and contributed to the childcare so I’ve made my peace with it. Not paying a £2.60 toll though is ridiculous and a big warning bell. Heck even a kid would be able to pay that out of their pocket money.

Hell no YANBU
Words are cheap, it's actions that count
It couldn't be more obvious he is taking advantage of you and I would dump him right now
Every penny youspend on this leech is money you should be spending on your DC

I thought this was going to be a rant about a man not earning enough but this! Why didn't you put a stop to to this a long time ago? Lesson learnt (expensive) I hope. Talk is cheap and that's what he is : a leeching cheapskate, a parasite, cocklodger. Get rid of asap! Well, tell him you want to be reimbursed first.

Bin him
You are 26
You could be with anyone.

Moooooove on.

Read your first eight paragraphs. Didn't need to read the rest. Have you lost your mind OP?? Why would you stay with someone who is 40 years old and still isn't even coming close to having their sh-t together. Don't you want an equal partner in life? Not a freeloader?

Right now he’s saying “I want to go to that fancy hotel for New Year. You’re paying.” That’s annoying when it’s discretionary spending. Imagine how much worse it’ll be when it’s nappies, or a school trip, or rent… So things where you have no choice but to bail him out.

Run a million miles from this one. You’re still in the honeymoon phase and this is as good as it will ever be. You deserve better.

@Whatwouldyoudo26 never underestimate the importance of financial compatibility in a relationship.

If you're not on the same page either accept he will always sponge off your move on.

Be ready for the empty promise where he'll tell you he will pay you back next week if you don't leave him...

I bet he split with his ex for the same reason!

Actually a friend of mine had very similar. Great guy but hopeless with money. They stayed together (and still together with 2 kids now!) but ONLY on the basis that she was in control of both their finances. He's still not great with money but he transfers money to her the day he is paid which covers his share of bills and then his car insurance plus some for family stuff. What's left in his account he can spend. He actually doesn't mind it as he openly admits he is crap with money.

It's not about money, it's about trust and reliability. He promises things he can't deliver. He's not a man to be relied upon.

Plenty of people are on low incomes and manage relationships by eg cooking a nice meal instead of restaurant, go for a walk instead of something expensive, etc etc.

If you were in your 40s I'd say see if you can be in a relationship without any financial links at all, but you're in your 20s. Sack the saggy ballsack off.

Great plan, OP.

Feel the anger and toss the blood-sucking cocklodger and con artist out of your house and your and dc's life.

dump