Hubby asking me to speak english all the time

100% you should speak to your baby in Chinese. They will pick up English at school and be flawlessly bilingual.

Stick with your mother tongue with your child. English will take care of itself.

Give your child the gift of YOUR language. Your child will be bi-lingual. Your DH can speak English and you speak Chinese, your child is growing up in the U.K. - English will not be an issue and if you only speak to them in yours they will be bi-lingual. We have many friends who’s kids are bi-lingual for this reason.
ignore him feeling ‘left out’ he has the option of improving his Chinese too!

I don't think it helps that people don't really understand how babies acquire language. Adults 'learn' languages. Babies come pre-programmed with language. It's innate. What direction that innate ability takes is up to us, but language acquisition in babies is hard-wired.

Which is why babies never say, "I'm terrible at languages" like adults do. They aren't performing the same task you are when you do Duolingo!

As many phonemes in as many different language families as possible. I have a lot of Scottish, Polish and Irish family. I don't speak Polish or Gaelic. But when I try to learn Slavic or Altaic languages the teachers are always stunned I can make the guttural noises required. Rolling r as well. But it's because I learned those noises as a baby. They are pre-installed.

I believe (IIRC) the only noises that aren't innate and have to be learned by babies are the clicks in Southern African languages. And they involve different mouth anatomy so we're all struggling with those if we weren't born there to local parents.

I'm non white in the UK and so are a number of my friends and we're always assumed or straight up talked to in languages of countries we look like we are from even if our names are fully anglosaxon and my friends who only speak English are ripped from both sides for not speaking the language of their heritage. I wouldn't assume based on someone's features because i know there are many reasons why they might not, some sensitive and personal but so many people are so clumsy and ignorant. Your child will benefit a lot from speaking the language of their ethnic heritage even if it's just conversational non written.

Another point about your husband's English is adults take ages to master a language, he should be realistic about it and prioritise your child's future.

One parent one language seems to be recommended a lot on here but none of the multilingual families I know follow that method. And even with one parent one language it doesn't need one parent to speak English, baby will pick up the community language from living in the community. Dad could speak French and mum her native tongue and baby would still pick up English.

I would speak to baby in your native language and would also see if there are any schools or playgroups in that language near where you are.

Although, is it worth asking your DH what his experience of moving to France as a teenager was? As that sounds like it would have been quite challenging and perhaps your DH is trying to protect your baby? Maybe remind him that your baby would have a different experience to that if he grows up speaking 2 or 3 languages.

If your baby grows up not speaking Chinese, this will cut him off from his culture and will affect him for his whole life. Please speak to him in Chinese - the English will happen by itself.

1 Parent 1 language works fine - and English too when out and about would be absolutely fine - the child's progress might seem a little slower, but I promise it's not a problem later on.

My friend's child speaks 3 languages at 3 (obviously, 3 year old level of speaking!) because his parents both speak different languages, and then they live in the UK so he has to speak English at nursery - he's a lovely, happy kid, and already very good at choosing which language to use with whoever he's speaking to (although it helps I have a smattering of one of his other languages)

My husband's Aunt is French, and she spoke to her son in both French and English. He is fluent in both languages. My friend's Mum is English and her Dad is Italian, yet she was never taught Italian by her Dad. If you have the opportunity to teach your child multiple languages from birth, then do it. It's far better to teach them young, then try to teach them once they are in school.

No you should speak your mother tongue to bang it will learn English at school

What a great opportunity to be bilingual with no effort on babies part. Don't let baby miss out on knowing both of these incredibly useful languages.

Please speak Chinese to your baby. You can speak to your husband in English, but do not deprive your child of this amazing opportunity. They will learn English at nursery/school.

My controlling ex-husband used to shout at me when I spoke to the kids in my mother tongue. Consequently they now don't speak it. It makes me really sad 😔

I'm trying to become bilingual now as an adult. My dd is autistic so isn't taking in anything but I'm trying with little phrases every day

Definitely speak chinese(or mandarin? sorry for ignorance) at home to your children and french too! They'll learn English at school and its the best thing you can do for them!

It'll be harder for your baby to learn your mother tongue at a later date than it'll be for him to learn English from nursery/school age.

Speak your own language to your baby. The English will take care of itself as he gets older.

Your husband is being shortsighted and in likelihood its not the practise with you at home that will help his English it's with people he can't suddenly switch to another language with, its with people with different accents of English and different expressions. At home he should listen to English radio, bbc 4 is good and clear.
Prioritise that your child learns Chinese because he will always asked or assumed to speak it plus it's an amazing language with great career options.

this^

I used to meet a trilingual child in the coffee shop I went to before covid

He could speak `Russian to his mother, French to his father and English he lent from nursery to me - If a child can learn like this at an early age they will also be able to pick up other languages much easier than their peers who only learn one language.

Personally I’d speak to your child in your mother tongue. My mother didn’t teach me her language and only spoke to me in English, and as a result I now can’t communicate with my extended family. Being bilingual is a real bonus for a child - they will pick up English easily from nursery, school etc.

I know quite a few multilingual families and all of the parents spoke their mother tongue to the kids.

Even where neither parent spoke English the kids had lots of exposure to it through tv, seeing interactions between parents and English speaking friends, and then at school and nursery. If your child is growing up in England they will definitely end up speaking the language fluently and like a native speaker regardless of what language you speak to them in at home. You have the potential to give your child(ren) a massive and amazing gift - don’t waste it! I only wish I could speak another language and give this to my children.

Eg of the families I know in London:
Italian mum, French dad, each parent speaks their own language to the kids and English to each other - kids now trilingual

French mum, English dad - parents speak own language to kids and French to each other - kids bilingual

Chinese parents - speak only Chinese at home, bilingual kids who learned English when they started school

Babies are born with the natural ability to distinguish phonemes from almost all languages. If they don't hear them, they gradually lose that ability. So your child, just hearing English will be able to distinguish r and l, typically hard in some Asian languages but not sh from the similar sound in 谢谢
Xièxiè
Which English speakers find hard to distinguish. You may never get that ability back once it's lost.

Speak Mandarin or Cantonese to your baby. English to each other if you choose that.

Please teach your child both languages, I work in early years and we have a few bilingual 3 and 4 year olds and it’s wonderful to see them swap between both languages depending on who they are speaking to.

I believe one parent one language is a common way to raise bilingual children. So if your husband wants to teach his son English, he can speak it and you can solely speak Chinese.

If you are staying in the UK your son will be surrounded by English and will be fluent by the time he is in nursery/ school regardless of which language you speak at home. He won’t have any opportunities to learn Chinese outside of your home though, if you don’t speak to him in Chinese there’s a good chance he will never be confident in the language. I think it would be foolish not to speak Chinese with him at home.

Speak Chinese to your baby if that is your mother tongue. Your baby will learn English fluently by living in the UK.

You should speak your mother tongue to your child. What a great skill they will have being bilingual and trilingual if French is spoken by your dh. Your dh can get lots of English practice outside the house and also through tv etc

Make sure your baby is bilingual. It is not just the language ability that is enhanced it is memory and so many more brain functions.

Hubby can practice English with the baby when the baby starts school.

Does hubby speak French? Your kids could be trilingual!

No, you need to speak Chinese with your baby. Speak English with your husband if you want to, but Chinese with the children. They'll have plenty of exposure to English so can grow up fully bilingual.