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AIBU?

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NHS workers help!

60 replies

harlacem0507 · 28/12/2024 18:19

Cut a long story short my husband broke his collarbone 3 days before Christmas playing football. He's got his arm in a sling, in absolute agony, sleeping in a chair and on pain meds. We have 3 children, 10,8 and 18 months. Basically he can't do anything for them especially the baby, he can't pick her up to put her into a highchair, put her down for a nap, get her up from a nap, change her nappy, nothing. Not his fault at all, my issue here is my work. I am a part time nurse on a ward and for the last 3 shifts I've had to go in late (8:30am rather than 7am) or leave early (5pm rather than 7.30pm) all due to the baby needing breakfast/dinner/bedtime etc, during the day his mum or mine help him but it's not always possible as they both work too and I'm not happy asking my 10 year old to do all this extra work. Work are now getting fed up saying I can't keep going in late or leave early as it's leaving the ward short (I totally understand) but unfortunately I have no carers or annual leave left to take and I'm honestly stumped at what to do. My manager said to talk to her next week but has anyone got any experience with this? One nurse told me to go off sick but I'm not the one who's ill, however, I can't manage it all? Any advice is greatly appreciated!!

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 28/12/2024 18:38

titchy · 28/12/2024 18:37

Why can't he pick her up with his good arm wrapped round her? Yes it's awkward, but I'd imagine one armed parents manage. And he has two older 'helpers' who can distract at nappy change times while he wipes her and puts a new nappy on. I bet you'd manage somehow OP if you'd broken your arm....

I’m assuming pain is a big factor here. I’ve never had one but have known a few people who have broken their collarbone… it’s agony by all accounts

MrsGnome · 28/12/2024 18:37

@saltinesandcoffeecups Parental leave is different from carers leave. It has to be pre booked and can only be taken in week blocks (except unless approved by a manager). I used to work P/T in community so a full week was the 2 days I worked. Now I'm in acute nursing so a week would be my full 3 shifts (or 4 if my 4 day week).

In these circumstances my manager would likely approve it today meaning I could start it next week. I hope you get it sorted.

titchy · 28/12/2024 18:37

Why can't he pick her up with his good arm wrapped round her? Yes it's awkward, but I'd imagine one armed parents manage. And he has two older 'helpers' who can distract at nappy change times while he wipes her and puts a new nappy on. I bet you'd manage somehow OP if you'd broken your arm....

saltinesandcoffeecups · 28/12/2024 18:32

I think you are going to have to rely on the older kids now even if it’s not ideal. The can do a lot under dad’s supervision.

Anothercoffeeafter3 · 28/12/2024 18:30

Can he not manage to do some of it. So say make breakfast but feed the baby on the corner of the couch or a kitchen chair. At 18 months DS would have loved finger food picnics with daddy. It doesn't need to be perfect you just need to survive the next few weeks especially since it's half term so no school run etc

You could precook things he can microwave for the older two tho at 10 the oldest would likely enjoy helping dad put something in the air fryer or make a pot noodle.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 28/12/2024 18:30

harlacem0507 · 28/12/2024 18:26

Would love to but it's no lie what they say about nurses jobs being low paid!

Right but you’ll be in this position for about 6-10 weeks. An additional week of leave is only a short term fix and may have you worse off if it’s unpaid.

Your husband will be there while this person is in so you’ll be able to build up a routine and trust for when he’s ok to go back to work (assuming he’s not in a manual job).

harlacem0507 · 28/12/2024 18:26

saltinesandcoffeecups · 28/12/2024 18:25

Can you hire someone to cover at home for those few hours?

Would love to but it's no lie what they say about nurses jobs being low paid!

OP posts:
harlacem0507 · 28/12/2024 18:26

MrsGnome · 28/12/2024 18:23

Can you use parental leave? In my NHS trust we get one week paid per year (per child). It does usually have to be booked in advance but my manager has approved this the week before I've used it.

I think that might be the same as carers leave but that's more emergency isn't it? I took one day the day after it happened as we were in a&e all night, but I'll definitely ask, thank you!

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 28/12/2024 18:25

Can you hire someone to cover at home for those few hours?

MrsGnome · 28/12/2024 18:23

Can you use parental leave? In my NHS trust we get one week paid per year (per child). It does usually have to be booked in advance but my manager has approved this the week before I've used it.

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