NHS workers help!

Can you move to nights. You can get them ready for bed before you leave and sort out Mornings until help arrives then go to bed

This is one of the reasons Imdespair of the NHS. It is surely better to have you working shorter hours than not at all. The alternative is you have to be signed off for non work related stress and anxiety. Also you are one if their own, why the heck isn't someone phoning to orthopaedics to make.sure your dh is getting optimal advice to get the family back on its feet so you are back at work asap for the benefit of as many patients as possible.

Have you got any annual leave left? Take 2h each day you need cover at a specific time etc

I don't work for NHS but even though it leaves the ward short etc, that doesn't mean that employees are not people and don't have their own stuff going on. Pretty shit leadership if they can't accommodate later starts / earlier finishes to help you with childcare. Pretty sure there's some ACAS guidance on that somewhere.

I certainly wouldn't leave DH caring for 18m old on his own in the early stages as he may not be able to react fast to baby emergencies. They're like little drunks at that age wobbling about, running in to tables

You can be signed off by your GP too to look after him. One of my colleagues did it as his wife required surgery and needed him at home (we’re nhs too and on wards)

You are not sick so of course you can't call in sick. Your union can advice you on your options.

Of course your 10 yo can do some extra help. She will do fine.

Any friends? Family? Babysitter? Children's friends? Neighbours?

We have helped out then a family in our daughter's class had a situation like yours. Do try to ask around.

Carers leave I believe is 5 days paid per year mostly. Check your Trust's annual leave and special leave policy. I think this is very trust dependent, as definitely not the case in some trusts I've worked in.
Talk to your manager / Human Resources. You might be able to negotiate flexible working or unpaid leave. Failing that you ask for unpaid parental leave.

OP this sounds hard, my DS 21 broke his collarbone badly in a ski accident and was in bed unable to even sit up or move for 4 days. He was in agony and still in pain medication 2 weeks later. After x-rays it was bordering on surgery.

All I'd say is it took him a good 5 weeks to be able to drive safely and about 12 weeks to feel stable and able to lift.

So it's a long recovery for sure, so whatever you do is be trying to think long term here.

What is your DHs job? Is there any insurance or income to pay for some help?

I wouldn't go off sick, that can land you in hot water and create bad feeling.

Carers leave I believe is 5 days paid per year mostly. Check your Trust's annual leave and special leave policy.

Parental leave which is unpaid is a statutory right. Check your Trust's policy but make sure it tallies up with what is on www.gov.uk. If it doesn't ask HR why.

Ultimately have the discussion with your line manager and ask for flexibility around shift patterns and put across the urgency of the matter.

You sound very stressed, potentially too stressed to be at work. That would be sick leave.

Also I’ve broken my clavicle, and I was able to do a reasonable amount of my other arm. I appreciate that all fractures are different. Is he taking appropriate analgesia?

I also work in the NHS as a nurse & my partner had an accident recently, I called work and told them I would need carers leave due to the same issues as you are experiencing. They tried to tell me I had to take AL, I stood my ground and was granted carers/parental leave for two weeks. Take as long as you are able to get and worry about the long term when you have to, at least after a week or so you will have a new routine and able to sort out a way of being able to leave your hubby with the kids and what he is able to do

Speak to your union if you aren’t getting anywhere with your manager

Can u ask your manager to liaise with HR. They may have already. There should be a flexible working policy within each trust so whether you work more days and shorter times or do the extra hours at another time. My trust alllows us to buy annual leave but unfortunately it’s not cheap

You go off sick with stress for 2 weeks and by then he should be in less pain.

Which would be easier for your DH to manage , especially if you drop some standards? Mornings or evenings?

I'd ask if you could go in late and leave later. Would any of your colleagues be willing adjust their shifts around you as well?

You can do the morning routine, bathe the baby if needed , do breakfast, set everything else up etc. Then your mum or MIL will be around to continue that, is there anything extra they can prep/do? Don't be afraid to ask your 10 yo (and even 8 yo) for help either. Of course, if she's adamant she won't do it you can't force her , but she might be happy to help. Microwave/heat up meals , pass things to him, pick the baby up etc. Also, it won't be the end of the world if you lower standards and some dinners are beans on toast/cereal (even for the baby), or the baby doesn't get a bath every night etc. Main things are safe, clean/changed , fed .

Just go off sick so your covered. surely whilst your working you'd be super stressed anyway worrying about what's going on at home.

I’d go off sick. Nothing you else you can do. Hopefully it won’t be for too long cx

Take unpaid leave or find a baby sitter.

Could you put in a temporary flexible work request to alter your hours for the next 6 weeks or so (possibly taking reduced pay if you couldn’t fit your normal hours in somewhere) They should consider all flexible work requests

Doesn't the NHS have really good leave policies? My mum was on full pay for 6 months then half pay when my dad was dying from cancer

Can you ask for a temporary change to your working hours while he's physically unable to help? I'm not NHS but I work shifts, this is what I did when DH broke his hand. Dayshifts only is not a 'thing' at my workplace, but It was that or I'd have had to take weeks off to care for DS (about 18 months old at the time).

Just to add, parental leave is a statutory right, so you will be allowed it but your employer can ask you to alter dates (although there would be no point in your case)

It's 2 weeks per year per child so you could have 6 weeks. You get a max of 18 weeks per child.

It's unpaid. You could also ask for short notice annual leave if you have any left.

Or you can take sick leave due to the stress of the situation, but that's not ideal and would be a bit of a stretch

Your manager is likely to be somewhat pragmatic as you'll have to be off one way or another if you don't have any other options so they may as well help you out

I think hes just going to have to muddle as much as he can, even if that means help from other kids and doing things not as usual eg not using high chair, lo missing baths ect. This level of pain shouldn't stay this high for too long so hopefully he will be able to manage one handed in a week or so to do more things.

Either that or you will have to have a chat with manager about either going off sick or taking parental leave. You dont really have an option if dh really cant manage and you leaving early/coming in late is causing staffing issues, you cant be in 2 places at once!

It really is! I had a lifting restriction too. Can't remember what it was exactly but I wasn't allowed to life anything (with either arm)