NHS workers help!

Apologies for quoting the wrong poster!

@whaleandsnail6 But this is where I.lose patience with NHS mismanagement.

The op could come into work a shorter shift or go sick. The NHS can work with her on the sick with a full shift agency nurse. Bearing in mind the complaints about understaffing, would it not be preferable to have the agency nurse AND the op working reduced hours. The cost would be the same and the op could assist where most needed.

It doesn't take Einstein to think outside the box but perhaps there isn't a form fir it. If the op works reduced hours it's a win for the op, the hospital, the agency staff and most importantly the patients. A few more could help some nursing care.

Person I would speak to your GP and take the time off as stress related.
They would even write it as for to work on reduced hours. Otherwise it'll just be unpaid leave.

@AndSoFinally This isn’t strictly true. I work for the NHS and a proportion of parental leave is paid, it is also pretty standard in my profession to take more than 2 weeks per year. I took 6 weeks when my DC were born. It must be at the managers discretion.

My son broke his leg a few years ago when he was 18 months old. I worked for the NHS then and was refused time off to care for him. It was an absolute nightmare and turned out my parents bosses were far more helpful giving them time off to look after him than my boss!

I disagree with this... certainly where I work, we would be able to put full shifts out to agency staff to cover but someone coming in late or early is harder as its generally the busiest times but noone would want only a 2 hour shift, so the ward ends up short staffed for those lost couple of hours.

@ByQuaintAzureWasp yes sorry i should have stated the 4 weeks in total per child. I meant for financial means my trust gives 1 week paid leave of parental leave. This is per child and can be combined with the unpaid element. It's been a life saver to use instead of annual leave for my children's appointments or school holidays. Hopefully OP's trust has the same policy.

No it does make sense because they can plan to be without you. They might not get cover but they know you will not be in rather than hoping you can come in before X time.

Can you baby proof a room? Or part of a room? Even just your bed with cushions around?

Have a look what help there is. My local council allow anyone to have meals on wheels.

Buy ready meals that can be microwaved by your older two, with suitable warnings / training.

There can be local help, when my mum had a mastectomy there was a service that came pout and did the ironing for 4 weeks.

The law states you can have upto 4 weeks per annum per child

Could the 18 month old nap in a pram that lies flat so your DH could rock it gently if they need settling?

Either take unpaid parental leave or offer to pay someone else you know to help. Perhaps a student at home for the holidays would appreciate the extra money?

It's tricky, but I'm not sure the answer to every broken collarbone it for two adults to stop work for 10 weeks, is that something you would really expect OP? BIL looked after DN with a broken collarbone, which wasn't easy for him at all, but painkillers helped. He would have the meals set up by DSis, and just kept things simple, playing in the bedroom as there were fewer hazards etc. He had occasional family visits to get a break, went to church playgroup where everyone made a huge fuss, organised playdates so a spare mum or dad was on hand, he found quite a lot of creative solutions. I wouldn't worry about the 10yo doing the odd nappy change nor a spot of playing with the little one, they are old enough for some responsibility and he is still there to supervise. Do either of you have parents or siblings who could drop in from time to time?

GP authorised sickness should be fine. Saying this, they have really tightened the rules in my Trust. For example you can no longer do Bank if your attendance falls below 95%. I recently looked at a job at another Trust. Their recruitment document says if you have been on sickness management policy in the previous 2 years you will have to be cleared by their Occupational Health should you be offered the job

Load of rubbish. If OP goes off sick with stress (this is a stressful situation right) then she would not be lying. I have been a Nurse for 30 years and have never known sick leave authorised by a GP to have implications on your registration. I have also had a fair few absences over the last few years and applied for a new post, it wasn't even mentioned or questioned.

Further to earlier message... unless your manager agrees to redeploy you elsewhere with 9-5 hours

You need to set your priorities right whatever you feel they should be. Please be mindful if you arrive late, miss part of vital handover and make a clinical mistake it could have serious professional implications. I really do think you need to ask for unpaid parental leave ASAP.

Just be mindful, this could trigger sickness management policy. If you are found to be lying it could have implications for your registration. Should you wish to change jobs your sickness record might be scrutinised by the prospective employer. I would tread carefully on sickness route

Can you make some adjustments at home to help him manage without lifting the 18 month old? Put mattress on floor for naps, stop using high chair and instead have little toddler chair and table, changing mat on floor for nappy changes etc? All not ideal I appreciate but maybe workable short term

A broken arm is set in a cast and is unlikely to be painful quite quickly. A broken collarbone in an adult is really painful the first couple weeks and isn't set. Any movement of the arms hurts.

Work need to understand surely?? Shorter days for a few weeks seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Don't go off sick unless you have a fit note. So you can go to GP and say you're stressed and get one. You also have to consider how long this will last for him? Ie how long will you be off work? Could you get mums to cover a longer day and work part-time temporarily but at least cover a full shift ?

Go off sick, I know a few nurses who have done this, it's your only option really.

You should ask to speak to your line manager/matron. Explain that you need to adjust your hours due to your current circumstances.
if you start late without informing your team, they will be annoyed with you as they will have to take the handover and cover your patients until you turn up.
A reasonable line manager will support you through this temporary and difficult time.

I do not think you can and should rely on your 10 year old. This sounds like a recipe for disaster.

@harlacem0507 could he safely co sleep with the baby? And if you do go to nights, you need to factor in enough time to sleep in the day, without stressing or helping out.

Great suggestion if OP's role involves night shifts.