Shared disability toilets with baby changing facilities

Also, a lot of new mothers do have bathroom needs that they didn’t before and I hate it where there is only a changing table and no toilet. As a bathroom disabled person (before I had my child, but others have this temporarily just after birth), I would have to change my baby and then have to queue up for a regular toilet, no room for a pram or to put the baby down if I was on their toilet. One horrible time I had to leave the pram and baby outside the toilet as there wasn’t any room to bring them in or lay them down, then try and keep the door open through a horrible and embarrassing crohns flare up. Do you subject others to your ordeal or keep the door shut and not keep an eye on your baby? Obviously the former, but it’s horrible for everyone.

As a ‘toilet disabled’ mother, I have also had an unfortunate incident like you when a person who was on their own didn’t leave the toilet in time for what was going on in my bowels. It really doesn’t matter who was in there, it’s just very unfortunate. A lot of places have limited room for toilets and the space needed for accessible ones takes up a lot of space so there can’t be many due to logistics.

You just have to dust yourself down, it is embarrassing, but what else can you do? It is nobody’s fault, people can’t help having a disability. I’ve used the ‘just sorting out the child’ excuse when actually it was me needing the extra time as I felt shouting that through a toilet door is less embarrassing!!

So now there needs to be male and female toilets, disabled toilet, separate baby change and separate accessible baby change? You can see why most places don’t have all of these and try to combine, it would take up most of a cafe with all the different types of spaces required.

I've had 5 babies and still cannot understand why it takes some people so long to change a nappy. Even with a full clothes change. Sone take ages, it's ridiculous.
So sorry this happened to you OP.

Sorry this happened to you 🥰 However, the venue is at fault, not the mum. It could just have easily been another disabled person in there and you still would have soiled yourself. Maybe make a complaint to the venue and see if they can look into having dedicated disabled toilets?

It doesn’t help anyone for changing tables to only be in women’s toilets, men change their children too!
So many times we’ve been out and there have been no baby facilities in mixed or the men’s and only the women’s. It’s a disgrace.

It’s upsetting for you what has happened but it’s got nothing to do with the woman changing her baby, in the designated space to do so. It could have been another disabled person in there before you too, it’s just part of a public space that means it won’t always be free immediately.

The mother is not at fault here though. She was using the space designated. I agree it's crazy that disabled toilets are often also the designated baby change facility. But if there wasn't another one available what would you propose she did instead?
Realistically there needs to be baby change facilities in both the men's and womens toilets (the number of time my DH has had issues in places because it was only available in the ladies is ridiculous).

But your anger is misdirected. Rather then at the mother surely you should be contacting the supermarket?!

Bbz this is mumsnet 😂 agreeing is not allowed.

But yes I agree. Baby changing could be better and accessibility (at least in the UK) is abyssmal.

Can we all just agree that these spaces (baby change/disabled/accessible/whatever the hell you want to call it) rooms are clearly designed by able-bodied men who have never once changed a nappy or been in a situation where they are desperate for the loo but have their tiny baby in a pram and can't bring them into the cubicle so have to resort to keeping the door ajar or open and use the pram as a 'door'.

I have no experience regarding whether disabled loos are fit for purpose so can't comment on that but the majority of combined disabled/changing facilities I've had to use for my babies are absolutely disgusting, the changing tables aren't cleaned, the nappy bin is always placed awkwardly or is broken and I can guarantee you I wouldn't want to spend more time than is absolutely necessary in there 'cooing'.

So we need one that is electric height adjustable or something like that

This is so outdated. Depending on the area, its basically impossible to get a blue badge now even if you have a permanent disability.

Why not have it in the same room. Then a person can do a poo and change their baby in one room. That seems accessible to me.

AMEN TO THAT!!!

Then there should be sccessible changing facilities! Given most places only provide one disabled toilet it needs to be focused on toilet / incontinence changing facilities. There's lots of different types of disabilities as it is all requiring differing needs from a loo.

Accessible baby change should be separate.

Sorry this happened to you - sounds very frustrating and upsetting for you. It is a shame how often babies and disabled have to share spaces and so are pitted against each other for limited spaces. It happens on trains too with prams vs wheelchairs.

I did just want to comment on your point about why can’t the baby change be in the women’s toilets tho. This is absolutely 100% wrong as then dads can’t do nappy change. Also then what’s a mum to do… leave the pram and baby outside toilets out of sight whilst she uses the loo?

there should just be more facilities - that’s not the mum or babies fault.

I wouldn’t mind so much if the baby change tables in the disabled loos were actually accessible. But they’re generally not. They’re set at a height that’s comfortable for a walking person to change at rather than me in my wheelchair. If you’re going to use the disabled loo for a changing station imo you should make that changing table accessible for mums in wheelchairs!!!

I think the poster was saying her cousin becane disabled as a result of her pregnancy / labour. Rather than saying pregnancy should be classed as a disability.

If you can't park in a wide bay with a baby in a car seat, you literally can't get out of the car. No massive pushchair or 4x4 required. Baby might well be screaming and you have no other option

That’s an inconvenience. One you can usually avoid by parking further away so there’s space next to you. Wide spaces are nice to have and convenient for mothers with babies in a car seat. They’re essential for people with blue badges. If you can’t see the difference I can see why you’re missing the point.

"Baby changing in the main gents/ladies means you need to buy two baby changing tables, more bins to empty, slightly gross issues around sinks and poo and most people don't want to change their baby's bum in full view, not very dignified."

Dignity ? I don't think the babies will give a shit monkey's.

I'm up for that. Accessible toilets with an accessible baby changing facility. Preferably in the same room. Sounds ideal

Why? People with disabilities may want to change their baby

And so accessible changing facilities should be provided. That's not the same as the accessible toilets and the changing facilities always being lumped together so people who need the accessible toilet might have to wait behind an able-bodied baby-changing adult.

I agree that they should be separate (and I think BS8300 recommends this too).

It would be good if the unisex baby change also had a WC in it, as it can be very difficult to work out what to do with a pram when you need the toilet yourself - especially in places where the ladies/gents are down a large set of stairs - looking at you here British Museum.

I think that's a bit rich. I've known people have blue badges for slightly tenuous reasons and conditions that come and go. Eg my grandmother had one for arthritic knees but she walked miles every day. Someone got one for an inner ear condition that rarely played up and if it did, they didn't go out.

If you can't park in a wide bay with a baby in a car seat, you literally can't get out of the car. No massive pushchair or 4x4 required. Baby might well be screaming and you have no other option.

I wouldn't have a go at someone with a blue badge but it's not 100% clear cut.

And non-shared facilities doesn't mean they're always available. More than one disabled person can be in a venue.

The way these things happen is that a venue gets a contractor to do their loos, the contractor checks the space available and the building reg rules. Which say you need handles and a help alarm etc but don't exactly spell out that disabled people are at risk of not making it in time if a toilet is not designed well.

Baby changing in the disabled loos means one yellow bin only, which probably saves the venue money. Disabled people's sanitary stuff and baby nappies can both go in one bin.

Baby changing in the main gents/ladies means you need to buy two baby changing tables, more bins to empty, slightly gross issues around sinks and poo and most people don't want to change their baby's bum in full view, not very dignified.

I'm really sorry about what happened to you, sounds horrible. The above are reasons rather than excuses. It could have been another disabled person in the loo, though.