Shared disability toilets with baby changing facilities

Ffs Mumsnet, why do you do this?
I didn't report this post, I prefer personal attacks against me to stand and not be deleted. I'm not a delicate flower who'll cry if someone calls me names, you don't need to protect me, I can stand up for myself.

Well clearly the op didn't cope. She soiled herself. Which is rather the point. People can't cope with this arrangement.

Able bodied people had multiple cubicles in this venue. The disabled person had one, which she had to share with another type of user, with both users types taking loger than average and more likely to have urgency issues. It's a conflict by poor design, not necessity.

@LadyKenya

A person can also apply via their local Council for a BB. They can be awarded without being in receipt of PIP, as well

I know that, but the comment I replied to was about the automatic entitlement to a BB with PIP - not about BB application in general.

Can you not cope with the fact that it was an accessible toilet, not only a disabled one, because the baby change was in the toilet.

My Mum is in a wheelchair and has an advanced Parkinsonism, sadly she’s not able to change nappies. She also couldn’t push the pram, nor can I when I'm pushing her so I need to wear my baby and juggle them both.

When I say disabled toilet I am referring to people in a wheelchair, thankfully accessible loos are becoming more common with higher toilet and grab rails etc in standard cubicles which again is more helpful. Disabled loos are larger to accommodate wheelchairs and have the grab rails etc.

That's fine, as long as it’s not marked up as a disabled loo. But the point being you can't do both at once, you go to the loo and then change the baby (or the other way around). Someone else could be using the loo whilst you are changing the baby on a separate area. We all know that you could have a quick nappy change or you could have a poonarmi and be in there ages!

There's more options for where baby changes can go in a building as they don't need the toilet plumbing.

I just find it sad how many people can't imagine that this supermarket, which presumably had multiple loos for men and women and then one accessible loo which was shared for a baby change couldn't in have arranged these facilities differently. Supermarkets tend to be big.

It seems odd that disabled people who are more likely to suffer from urgency and more likely take a long time themselves, have to share with another group that also takes a long time. It makes more sense for able bodied people do be inconvenienced by having fewer urinals/cubicals and to have two accessible spaces.

I know small cafes can't do this as they are small. But they aren't really public loos. But so many proper public toilet are like this. My town spent a fortune on new public toilets and it's still one accessible loo

Everytime I take my aunt to the disabled loo there is a queue and the able bodied toilets are half empty.

Where did I say this had to be a public space? …wait… I didn’t write that.

A person can also apply via their local Council for a BB. They can be awarded without being in receipt of PIP, as well.

Agreed plus my baby is quite scared of the hand dryer so when the baby change is in a separate room it avoids him having a meltdown. Babies are humans with needs too, they shouldn’t always be second class citizens either.

I don’t think it’s reasonable to only have a public space to change a baby. A child in nappies is just as entitled to privacy as you.

It’s because of space.

Im really sorry that happened to you OP x

You don't know that she didn't, could have been a poo blowout, my kids have had some brutal ones that have required full outfit changes and in winter that's a lot of layers. The baby and mum are just as entitled to that space as the Op in this instance, it's the venue who should be providing separate spaces

Oh no doubt.

Been on here 6 years myself.

I'm just noticing a trend this week.

@MobilityCat you just seem to have countless posts about hating parents though? Ranting about them on buses (again, I sympathise but also disabled children exist too, IE young children in special needs buggies who also are entitled to the wheelchair spaces) and just the general tone of your speech IE mentioning the ‘cooing’ etc or complaining about a mother having a iPhone in front of her baby…. It’s all kind of not important. Why not get mad at the people who design the toilets/ plan the facilities? Spend this energy on campaigning rather than hating on (what I’m guessing is) other women?

I’m failing to see how this was the mother’s fault here?
as many other PP’s have said, let’s remember the overlap too with disabled parents of young children (who need to use disabled loo themselves AND change their baby) and those like myself who have a disabled child and need to use a ‘baby change’ even though my child is older.

for someone who spends hours and hours seemingly on mumsnet posting about how hard done by you are @MobilityCat , and for some of your posts I sympathise, but maybe it’s time to reflect and realise that other people have needs too and this isn’t a top trumps situation.

I’ve been on here 11 years. There have been many many disabled toilet threads

So sorry OP. It is crap that they are often combined. Sometimes changing a baby's nappy can take awhile - I've had to do whole outfit changes whilst out and about before. I was always so conscious of the amount of time I was taking, especially for the (fortunately short) period of time I had 2 in nappies. So often, it is women and disabled people who are an afterthought.

There have been a surprising number of threads about disabled toilets lately 🤔 but it's given me pause to think:

I disagree that disabled people should have to share their space with able bodied people.

The changing facilities in the disabled toilets are rarely accessible for disabled parents to use them. If you can stand, then they might be but once again more often than not wheelchair users are marginalised in a space that should accomodate them.

Yes, there should be changing facilities either separately as I've seen in a few shopping centres, and if that isn't possible it should definitely be in the ladies.

What I can't force myself to agree with is that changing facilities are put in the men's. Most sexual crime is committed by men, and perhaps I'm projecting because of my own negative experiences with men as a vulnerable child who grew into a vulnerable adult, but I just feel like the risks outweigh the benefits of that. It's not a distrust of male guardians and parents although there is a topic to be discussed there, it is a distrust of any other man oggling.

On a slightly different note yesterday I had an ‘older gentleman’ with a stick tut and shake his head when I exited the ‘disabled’ toilet. Similar response from the woman with him.

I don’t have a visible disability and have experienced this many times. However this was the first time I’ve had the confidence to respond. After asking if he was ok (‘you should know better’ and the like) I popped back in and held my (bagged ) split stoma bag up from the bin. Not the most pleasant thing to do but needed.

I politely informed him that doing this in a small cubicle was rather difficult. I didn’t stay for a reply, the 2 red faces were enough, wish I’d done this before!