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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we shouldn't always get the same?

40 replies

AGreatUsername · 28/12/2024 15:54

Genuinely not sure if I'm BU! My father and step mother are terrible gift givers (the favoured step siblings definitely get more/better gifts, but that's a whole other issue and there are levels of favouritism even among the step siblings) and spend very little despite being more than comfortable.

Anyway, they buy me, my SiL and my adult daughter the same gift every year, as in we all get the exact same thing. Whether it's socks or whatever, this year was a £10 item from M&S that my SIL loved but neither me nor my daughter would ever use. They also buy my husband and brother the same item every year.

I don't care about the money, but I just think I'd rather have a £10 gift they chose thinking I'd like it than a bulk buy every year! My SiL and I are very different people with different tastes and I just find buying the exact same thing utterly thoughtless and a mark of having to just get something out of duty.

OP posts:
IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 28/12/2024 16:21

fuzzychic · 28/12/2024 16:18

Highly fragranced handcream

I would use that.

ginasevern · 28/12/2024 16:21

Hesonlyakidharry · 28/12/2024 16:12

@ginasevern
What are you talking about? They didn’t get an M&S voucher 🫤

Ah, my apologies. I though it said a £10 voucher not item. Sorry, reading through a streaming cold at the moment.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 28/12/2024 16:20

Hesonlyakidharry · 28/12/2024 16:16

Why are you quoting me? I know they didn’t get a voucher. The other poster I quoted is the one saying they got a voucher.

Blimey you're hard work. I was replying to you. You (rather aggressively) challenged the poster who got it wrong but didn't clarify to her what she got wrong.

fuzzychic · 28/12/2024 16:18

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 28/12/2024 16:15

They got a £10 item from M&S which they can't use.

Tbh I'm struggling to think what costs £10 from M & S that can't be used. I mean I might not buy M&S scented candle/ cosmetics/ perfume/ vase/ scarf/whatever but there isn't anything so horrific I couldn't use it

Edited

Highly fragranced handcream

Hesonlyakidharry · 28/12/2024 16:16

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 28/12/2024 16:15

They got a £10 item from M&S which they can't use.

Tbh I'm struggling to think what costs £10 from M & S that can't be used. I mean I might not buy M&S scented candle/ cosmetics/ perfume/ vase/ scarf/whatever but there isn't anything so horrific I couldn't use it

Edited

Why are you quoting me? I know they didn’t get a voucher. The other poster I quoted is the one saying they got a voucher.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 28/12/2024 16:15

Hesonlyakidharry · 28/12/2024 16:12

@ginasevern
What are you talking about? They didn’t get an M&S voucher 🫤

They got a £10 item from M&S which they can't use.

Tbh I'm struggling to think what costs £10 from M & S that can't be used. I mean I might not buy M&S scented candle/ cosmetics/ perfume/ vase/ scarf/whatever but there isn't anything so horrific I couldn't use it

Hesonlyakidharry · 28/12/2024 16:12

@ginasevern
What are you talking about? They didn’t get an M&S voucher 🫤

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 28/12/2024 16:12

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So OP's step- mother is buying Christmas presents for the spouses of her adult step children and the adult daughter of her adult step- daughter?

And they're whinging about her not putting enough thought into it?

ginasevern · 28/12/2024 16:09

I find it hard to believe that neither of you can find a use for an M&S voucher. You can get food, chocolates, a bottle wine or a pack of knickers if nothing else. Personally I'd rather have a voucher for somewhere useful than more "stuff". There's not much they could get for £10 (another scented candle anyone)! Otherwise I can understand you being a bit pissed off if you give them well thought out gifts. If you do, then I'd stop doing it because there's clearly no point. You aren't going to change them and the only alternative is to cause a massive upset.

TwinklyAmberOrca · 28/12/2024 16:05

Next year ask them to not buy you anything and instead make a donation to your local homeless charity.

Mischance · 28/12/2024 16:04

YABU - if someone gives you a gift, then it is just that - a gift. They choose what they choose. Smile, say thank you. End of.

Hesonlyakidharry · 28/12/2024 16:04

Just suggest no longer doing gifts with them. They don’t buy for you and you don’t buy for them. Done.

fuzzychic · 28/12/2024 16:01

Weird that your dad doesn't put an effort in but never mind. That's the cards you're dealt. I expect stepmum does the gifts for her kids.

ThisRedTraybake · 28/12/2024 16:00

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ThisRedTraybake · 28/12/2024 15:57

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