More of a 'what would you do?' I have two DC with severe disabilities - autism, Learning Disability, ADHD, non verbal, still in nappies kind.
We spend Boxing Day with my family every year. I kept asking them if they could please come here again (to our adapted house) for Boxing Day, no, they wanted us to go to theirs. I tried to say maybe we shouldn't come, but they insisted. We drove over an hour to get there and my youngest was uncontrollable- smashing ornaments on the floor, running around from room to room, hanging out an upstairs window we didn't realise wasn't locked etc. From a minority of family members there were comments that DC was "just doing it for attention", we "shouldn't let them be like that" and that it was our fault for "letting" them go in certain rooms (it was very difficult to control this, if anyone left a door open, they were straight in and it would require strenuous physical restraint to get them back out again).
At one point I said I'd rather be doing the cooking in the room of adults chatting and drinking than looking after the two DC with my DH, so maybe we could swap. Surprisingly no one wanted to swap. We then had to leave because so much stuff was getting smashed.
WWYD -
A) Not go round again ever with the kids.
B) Have a heart to heart with family (likely to be tense or cause argument) that if they want us to go round they have to actually move ALL the fragile, sharp or poisonous stuff and help us in a practical way.
Note - they very rarely come to ours, apparently it's too stressful...