To want us to move an hour from his family to be closer to mine?

If you’re thinking about having kids and the parents you’re currently nearby are keen to help out with childcare you’d be mad to move.

I agree with previous posts. Its a lot of faff to be close to neither family.

Its hard living away from family but sadly, with the way your families are spread, you will either always be close to one and a long way from the other, or a fair way from both and if your current lives are set up and settled where you are now, I can see why your husband is reluctant to move.

We are in the same town as my inlaws and 3hrs away from my parents.

Honestly I wouldn't move to the middle unless there was a great job/lifestyle etc. We have a child and it's invaluable having emergency care so close by especially if you both plan on working so we manage it now as having less frequent longer trips to my parents utilizing working from home where possible to reduce the need for AL

this is bonkers. You have work where you are and have niche jobs and are close to one family? Stay where you are rather than move somewhere close to neither family and your ability to be close to work is compromised. Give your head a wobble.

2hrs is not that much easier than 3hrs when you are doing hospital visits and caring type things. I’d be moving a lot closer than that, eg 30 mins it health issues and providing support is likely.

Agree with PP that being 1hr from DPs family and 2hrs from yours is the worst of both worlds, they won’t be able to help out as much with kids etc if they are any hour away.

You’ll both be more isolated.

You're moving from where you have one set of parents/available grandparents/potential free childminders, to where you have none. It doesn't make sense to me to move for the sake of an hour closer. It doesn't make a lot of difference to travel, and it makes it more inconvenient for the other person.

I does sound like it would be better if you stay where you are. It might be better to convince your parents to move closer to you rather than the other way round. Once you do have kids, you might regret moving further away from your in-laws especially if they are willing to help with childcare

As others have said, you will potentially have the worst of both worlds and have the stress that moving and changing jobs involves, let alone the upheaval of (hopefully) adding a new baby to the mix.

Stay where you are.

Would it be more practical for your parents to move closer to you?

Hmm that sounds like the worst of both worlds really.
Instead of being nearby to one, you’d be close to neither

I think moving to be midway between families leads to more faffing around not less. And it's a huge disruption and very expensive just with stamp duty and moving costs and probably doing work on the new home.
Are there no other ways you could put this money and effort into supporting your family from where you are?

I vetoed moving to the middle of our parents. You are always having to travel, you might as well have at least one set on the doorstep.

Are there train options for visiting you parents? Or could you move the full distance?

Sounds like a massive PITA to go from driving 3 hours to 2.

Not unreasonable to want to move but does sound like it would be difficult for you both with your work so can see why he wouldn't be keen.