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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ick of Christmas present from Dp

459 replies

DivaORJustified · 28/12/2024 12:21

Usually Dp give each other a wish list of specific items or vague items like earrings so the other can choose.
Was really happy with the earrings he brought be, they were under stated but very elegant, exactly what I would chose. On Boxing Day when we had his dc under 10, one of his daughters presents was exact same pair of earrings in gold instead of rose gold. Am I right to feel upset about it as it doesn’t feel like a romantic or thoughtful gift anymore. Happy for opinions no matter how harsh. Thank you

OP posts:
DivaORJustified · 30/12/2024 23:50

Haha @Monty27 it better be good! Tbh I always like going out the day after Valentines as it’s less cheesy but anyway will leave him to it. I didn’t make a big fuss about it, when he asked I was like “ oh are we doing something with the dc?”.
I just think sometimes as women we accept so little of what we are actually worth.

If he had carried on the way he was telling me to chuck them in the bin, I would just know he didn’t care if he didn’t have the drive to make me happy.

OP posts:
Monty27 · 30/12/2024 23:46

Yes it's his bad. I've heard worse for sure. Enjoy 14th February. You seriously need to update us.

DivaORJustified · 30/12/2024 23:41

Monty27 · 30/12/2024 23:37

Oh bugger you beat me to it BOGOF !
Ah OP just as long as he gets your complaint.
I do.
Don't listen to ppl being verbally negative. They're not you nor in your life.

Thanks yes he has got it loud and clear today! After declaring his love for me again today I have said I am no longer accepting words but only actions.
Four hours later and he’s asked me to clear my diary on the evening for 14th of Feb as he’s “planning something”. Let’s just hope he doesn’t confuse me with his daughter again and buy me a scooter!

OP posts:
Monty27 · 30/12/2024 23:37

Oh bugger you beat me to it BOGOF !
Ah OP just as long as he gets your complaint.
I do.
Don't listen to ppl being verbally negative. They're not you nor in your life.

DivaORJustified · 30/12/2024 23:27

Earrings got sent back today, they agreed to take them back which is good. I am glad really draws a line under this sorry episode.

OP posts:
CrowleyKitten · 30/12/2024 18:42

sounds like he thinks you have a better idea of taste than he has, and that if you like them, she probably would like them too.

DivaORJustified · 30/12/2024 08:27

I just want to thank those who offered their perspectives without personally attacking me.
I read through the whole thread this morning ( I know right? ) to just take the whole thing in.
I’ve learnt a bit about myself and also how dp thinks too. We have indeed made up which as a pp has said really is the best bit. it seemed like a very big thing at the time but now it’s like something that happened but that I’ve let go of.
We booked some tickets last night for a show we both want to go to and have something to look forward to when we are childfree.
For those that wished he left me and accused me of jealousy and being trash amoungst several other names - I hope you are kinder to those around you in real life than you were to me. You will find that majority of people come on here looking for advice as a last resort as there is no one they can share with in real life. I didn’t want to ask family or friends as didn’t want them involved.
I have to work today and I hope you all have a lovely day!

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 30/12/2024 01:07

That's excellent, op. All over now, thank goodness.

Onceuponatime9 · 29/12/2024 22:48

The making up is the best part 🥰

Onceuponatime9 · 29/12/2024 22:47

DivaORJustified · 29/12/2024 21:28

Yes I have.

🥰

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 29/12/2024 21:29

That's good. Hopefully something can be salvaged from this.

DivaORJustified · 29/12/2024 21:28

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 29/12/2024 21:26

Have you apologised to him?

Yes I have.

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 29/12/2024 21:26

Have you apologised to him?

MartinCrieffsLemon · 29/12/2024 21:25

DivaORJustified · 29/12/2024 21:20

@Onceuponatime9 thanks for your calm and clear advice and for sharing your experiences. I do feel he loves me, he’s worked around me when things have been difficult and he has been there for me when I need him. He’s good with my dc too and family and he’s always proud of them.
And he is generally a good gift buyer 😅
I have calmed down now and he’s been very reassuring today as well which has helped. We are being normal with each other.

It sounds like he's being grovelling all day which I hope isn't normal behaviour
And something you need to let him know isn't required

MartinCrieffsLemon · 29/12/2024 21:23

So other posters call OP a diva, entitled, trash etc
And I'm the one being personal?

OK

MartinCrieffsLemon · 29/12/2024 21:22

pikkumyy77 · 29/12/2024 20:52

Reported for the personal attack on OP.

Oh DFO

MartinCrieffsLemon · 29/12/2024 21:21

pikkumyy77 · 29/12/2024 21:08

I am glad they acted quickly. The number of ugly, personal attacks on this OP has really been unfortunate, to say the least.

Telling OP she needs to let go of this isn't a nasty attack but MN likes to just delete comments

MartinCrieffsLemon · 29/12/2024 21:21

DivaORJustified · 29/12/2024 20:43

@MartinCrieffsLemon I have let it go. Posters wanted more clarification so it’s been given. Is that ok with you?

You don't sound like you have let it go

DivaORJustified · 29/12/2024 21:20

@Onceuponatime9 thanks for your calm and clear advice and for sharing your experiences. I do feel he loves me, he’s worked around me when things have been difficult and he has been there for me when I need him. He’s good with my dc too and family and he’s always proud of them.
And he is generally a good gift buyer 😅
I have calmed down now and he’s been very reassuring today as well which has helped. We are being normal with each other.

OP posts:
Candy24 · 29/12/2024 21:08

DivaORJustified · 29/12/2024 12:44

@FrivolousKitchenRollUse you actually offer wise words. Thank you. I don’t think posting on here is going to do me any good. There’s alot of attacking on here on how I’m wrong but no advice on a way forward.

Advise....grow up and stop being an ungrateful diva. Your beyond entitled

pikkumyy77 · 29/12/2024 21:08

I am glad they acted quickly. The number of ugly, personal attacks on this OP has really been unfortunate, to say the least.

Onceuponatime9 · 29/12/2024 21:02

Oh dear OP, on behalf of many posters I'd like to say thank you for sharing. There is nobody here who knows you & your relationship more than you do. We can only go by the information shared. You are a good person who has been through a lot of hurt. Please let the answers here help you to make your final decision in this relationship. Does he love you? Does he respect you? Is he good with your children? Please don't let a pair of earrings shared with this mans daughter be the decimation of your future. You are worth so much more.

DivaORJustified · 29/12/2024 20:57

Thanks @pikkumyy77 … I didn’t actually read the messages as was offline but thank you for looking out for me x

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 29/12/2024 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Reported for the personal attack on OP.

DivaORJustified · 29/12/2024 20:43

@MartinCrieffsLemon I have let it go. Posters wanted more clarification so it’s been given. Is that ok with you?

OP posts: