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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ick of Christmas present from Dp

459 replies

DivaORJustified · 28/12/2024 12:21

Usually Dp give each other a wish list of specific items or vague items like earrings so the other can choose.
Was really happy with the earrings he brought be, they were under stated but very elegant, exactly what I would chose. On Boxing Day when we had his dc under 10, one of his daughters presents was exact same pair of earrings in gold instead of rose gold. Am I right to feel upset about it as it doesn’t feel like a romantic or thoughtful gift anymore. Happy for opinions no matter how harsh. Thank you

OP posts:
ZZGirl · 28/12/2024 14:13

DivaORJustified · 28/12/2024 14:03

His answer was that he loved the earrings for me so brought them for his Dd and if his mum wore earrings he’d have got her a pair too.

He said he loves us both and we are both special to him.

Hes not getting my point though his actions were innocent and sweet. It’s just not the way I feel about it, that’s all.

He also told me to throw the earrings away.

He's probably saying that because you're sounding ungrateful

Original poster
DivaORJustified · 28/12/2024 14:12

@W0tnow i was in two minds to broach this but I don’t want the same thing to happen again unless it’s matching socks or pjs, not my main bloody present. I don’t want to be grateful for crumbs in this relationship.

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 28/12/2024 14:12

Sure: they are both too reactive.

AngelicKaty · 28/12/2024 14:11

pikkumyy77 · 28/12/2024 14:05

What an overreaction on his part.

I should think he's hurt by OP making an issue of it - particularly when she loves/d the earrings.

W0tnow · 28/12/2024 14:08

I’d be a bit taken aback too. His reaction seems a bit ott, depending on how you broached the situation with him, though tbh I wouldn’t have…

Wigtopia · 28/12/2024 14:07

SometimesCalmPerson · 28/12/2024 12:28

It’s the same gift with the same amount of thought and romance attached to it as it had before you saw he’d bought them for his dd.

You are attaching meaning that was never there. Blokes don’t tend to overthink gifts, he just saw some earrings he liked and thought that his wife and daughter would like them too. So it wasn’t very imaginative but so what? Being imaginative with gifts isn’t an indication of how much he loves you.

Very much agree with this.

Hskatkat · 28/12/2024 14:06

sampquib · 28/12/2024 14:05

No comparison

Show quote history

Maybe her friend thought his secretary and his wife were both special ?

sampquib · 28/12/2024 14:05

HideousKinky · 28/12/2024 14:04

I once had to explain to my (fairly dim) friend why it was not OK to buy exactly the same Christmas gift for his wife and his secretary....

No comparison

pikkumyy77 · 28/12/2024 14:05

What an overreaction on his part.

sampquib · 28/12/2024 14:05

DivaORJustified · 28/12/2024 14:03

His answer was that he loved the earrings for me so brought them for his Dd and if his mum wore earrings he’d have got her a pair too.

He said he loves us both and we are both special to him.

Hes not getting my point though his actions were innocent and sweet. It’s just not the way I feel about it, that’s all.

He also told me to throw the earrings away.

I think you have to agree to disagree on this OP.

Hskatkat · 28/12/2024 14:04

Well if your that offended don't keep them.
Give them away

HideousKinky · 28/12/2024 14:04

I once had to explain to my (fairly dim) friend why it was not OK to buy exactly the same Christmas gift for his wife and his secretary....

BunnyLake · 28/12/2024 14:04

Marblesbackagain · 28/12/2024 12:23

YABU, they are earrings, so are generic to any age. It's not an intimate gift.

Have to disagree. I would feel the same as OP. Why on earth didn’t he buy a different pair for his under ten year old, she shouldn’t be getting the same piece of jewellery as an adult romantic partner (in my opinion).

A jewellery gift to your partner is not (and shouldn’t be) ‘generic’.

Original poster
DivaORJustified · 28/12/2024 14:03

His answer was that he loved the earrings for me so brought them for his Dd and if his mum wore earrings he’d have got her a pair too.

He said he loves us both and we are both special to him.

Hes not getting my point though his actions were innocent and sweet. It’s just not the way I feel about it, that’s all.

He also told me to throw the earrings away.

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 28/12/2024 14:01

AngelicKaty · 28/12/2024 13:31

Wow, yes, that is insulting. 😪I hope your post has brought some much-needed perspective to OP's query.

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On the contrary it reminded me of the way carelessness in one area of the relationship can be a sign of trouble that goes deeper.

Wheresthebeach · 28/12/2024 14:01

A bit weird….but he got you lots of other stuff too so I’d let it pass at the moment. I would have a word at a later date suggesting it’s best not to get matching items for you and dsd.

GetyourheadoutoftheovenIris · 28/12/2024 13:59

I wouldn’t have an issue with this. You like the earrings and describe them as understated and classy. At least it’s not Pandora crap.

BeAzureAnt · 28/12/2024 13:58

SometimesCalmPerson · 28/12/2024 12:28

It’s the same gift with the same amount of thought and romance attached to it as it had before you saw he’d bought them for his dd.

You are attaching meaning that was never there. Blokes don’t tend to overthink gifts, he just saw some earrings he liked and thought that his wife and daughter would like them too. So it wasn’t very imaginative but so what? Being imaginative with gifts isn’t an indication of how much he loves you.

Yep. Blokes don’t think so deeply about stuff like this, in my experience.

EzWin2 · 28/12/2024 13:56

Absolutely agree. I would be upset if I was bought same earrings. Doesn’t feel personal

BitterTits · 28/12/2024 13:56

You sound quite jealous of your partner's daughter.

PureBoggin · 28/12/2024 13:53

My daughter and I have the same piece of jewellery. Its a nice little bonding thing. Is he trying to bring you and his daughter closer?

Scirocco · 28/12/2024 13:52

I'd find it quite sweet to have something a bit special to share with her.

Onceuponatime9 · 28/12/2024 13:52

Interesting how people can have different views on this type of situation. On the contrary I would feel it was a very special gift which both my DPs daughter & I could share as given with love to us both. It would also make me feel more bonded with her when chatting about the different colours. I might even suggest if we prefer each others we could swap them.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 28/12/2024 13:50

DivaORJustified · 28/12/2024 13:47

@Hskatkat I just have

What was his response?

Hskatkat · 28/12/2024 13:48

@DivaORJustified And his reply is?

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