Ick of Christmas present from Dp

It depends on how old your DB is.

how strange you are. Do you buy those things for other people on special occasions?

Yes. Very strange. Weird story all round. OP said her kids are at uni now and is already talking of leaving the country as no longer any reason to be in the UK. Assuming they're at uni in the UK, I find it cold that you want to leave the country that they're in. They still need you. And what's all that rubbish about your kids wanting you to wait to marry your bloke until they are out of their teens. You don't even plan to be in the same country as them soon enough, so what difference does it make to them now? Assuming this is real and not just some entertaining school holiday creative writing, I think you just don't want to be with your fella anymore and are trying to make out that HE is the problem.

I mean, he's been useful to you all this time. Paying you rent. Helping you out in practical ways with running your kids about, sorting your car out. He's no use to you anymore, is he? Your kids are off to uni. You want to go abroad, he's now just an inconvenience to you,, especially with a younger kid who still needs parenting. You think you've done your parenting and you don't want to have to consider your man's kid anymore. Hence all this fault-finding, so you can present him with a list of reasons you should split up.

How strange you are.

My DH gives me gifts because he loves me - not every gift is imbued with romantic attachment.

I give DH gifts because I love him - and not every gift is a romantic token. Sometimes I buy something just because he’ll like it, sometimes because I think it will give him a giggle.

I don’t think it’s at all obvious that a gift to a lover signifies romance and a unique affection. If it does, we’re absolutely fucked because I bought him sports socks and a board game among other things 😂😬😂

Grammarnut, it does affect children if they are still dependant. Once they are grown up, it's different, but marrying when you have young children is a tricky business and all feelings have to be taken into account.

DC should not be dictating to a parent when they can marry. If she wants to get married then she should. DC have to accept that. When I re-married I did not mention it to my DC until we had agreed to marry. I then told them when the wedding was. They were happy for me and not at all surprised.
What I am saying is that one should not ask children to make or part-take in adult decisions - this is a burden they are not mature enough to take on or understand.

Most of us would buy the same aftershave for DB as for DP!

And what exactly is a gift from your partner supposed to mean?....if not that they care about you??
When my husband gives me a gift, I do think it is because he cares about me and wants me to like it.
Just as I do him...

How strange to think that might not be the case.

If my husband gave me and our daughters the exact same jewelery gift, I certainly wouldn't think that was a special gift for me.
He wouldn't be so dim as to that though.

I mean : well yeah? Obviously? When my dh gives me a gift it absolutely means he loves me and is romantically and uniquely invested in me. That is what gifts between lovers signify.

I think you overlayed a sentimental meaning to the earrings that just wasn’t there for him. He bought you a nice pair of earrings. What you wanted was a romantic pair of earrings - a special gift that proved he loved you.

As an extra I bought my brother the same pair of funny socks as I bought for DH 😂Thankfully they are good friends & appreciated the humour. I'll never understand your take on the earings but as mentioned in a previous post we are all different with different values.

Excellent idea.
Drop that rope.
Listen to your children.
Who EXACTLY benefits from you marrying him?

Cos it ain't you, thats for sure.

You seem to be measuring the value of your relationship by the value of the gifts. You sound entitled, difficult and materialistic. What a way to live. Jesus.

I think you should take some time and read all your posts back.

Honestly, I don't know where they find you? Ok, a milk frother for his coffee is bad, but at least it's useful and a way of saying I want to stay in your life (or did you not get that?). I would be happy to have a blender for Christmas, tbh. It's useful. Better by far than the gift my ex-H gave me one Christmas: a copy of Man Watching by D. Morris (I loathed D. Morris). I had asked for E. Gaitskell's Wives and Daughters, and ex-H told me he had not bought it as he did not think it was a suitable book for me to read (i.e. had not a flying F what the book was but assumed radical feminism and also that he was entitled to monitor what I read - total BS and one reason he's now ex). Late DH bought me a halogen oven one year because I asked for one. He also bought me dresses, and books, jewellery etc. Why are you so antsy? You got other presents. (Bit dim of him to buy earings for 10-year-old DD who isn't interested in earings, but some 10-year-old girls would love such a present.)
Sorry, above post was about the earings - but it stands.

@Incenseda OP's DP is doing his best. She is just hard to please. Had my late DH booked a spa night (very unlikely, more likely take me out to dinner) I'd have taken it as read it included a treatment - OP has to have everything written down in capital letters before she can understand what's going on. Hard on work on steroids.

This relationship really needs help—do you get that? Couples counseling and individual counseling for what grievance is underlying your anger. He doesn’t have a problem—you do. Are you angry because the relationship is not progressing? You are still stuck—five years in—jogging along? Your “grow old” card seems to indicate more sentiment and depth than you feel he is showing. Your gifts are more thoughtful and personal than his. Maybe you are unconsciously trying to see if he really, specifically, and deeply cares for you as an individual and not as a convenience with a house.

OP, there may be all sorts of issues and problems in your relationship and he may have done all sorts of things wrong, but on the presents I’m afraid I do think you’re being a massive diva. It’s like you’re looking to find things to be annoyed about.